Dating after lockdown #13 Halloween the ghost(er)s favourite season 🎃

[candyland_]

@PiesAndLattes I think he’s been unfair to you and I don’t agree with the credit he’s getting for being honest. He’s went from talking about how much he enjoyed kissing you to a sudden stop.. it’s a dick move I’ve heard men do too many times.
My only advice is to keep your guard up for the first few months until they prove themselves.

 

[PiesAndLattes]

@PiesAndLattes I think he’s been unfair to you and I don’t agree with the credit he’s getting for being honest. He’s went from talking about how much he enjoyed kissing you to a sudden stop.. it’s a dick move I’ve heard men do too many times.
My only advice is to keep your guard up for the first few months until they prove themselves.

Thanks for justifying this feeling. I let myself entertain this for a bit as I did feel I got the rug pulled out from me a little. The conversation about kissing and seeing each other again was yesterday and how he is excited for me to show him around Sydney, sent me apartments he was looking at here, places we might visit etc. to then get a “I’m not moving to Sydney any more and I’m taking a job overseas in 3 months” was a sharp shift lol. I definitely won’t get too involved for a few months like you and others have advised to protect my feelings.

 

[Bagpuss7]

@PiesAndLattes I think he’s been unfair to you and I don’t agree with the credit he’s getting for being honest. He’s went from talking about how much he enjoyed kissing you to a sudden stop.. it’s a dick move I’ve heard men do too many times.
My only advice is to keep your guard up for the first few months until they prove themselves.

So glad you wrote this ! I've experienced ' the something came up ' a few times and my gut has always told me it's a lame excuse to give someone the brush off so they feel less of a dick for wasting your time, because the reality is they are just not interested! If someone wants you they will move heaven so you know it !

I think all the other replies are valid too but my old cynical head very much is with candyland_ on this one

 

[NoseyNiamh]

@PiesAndLattes I think he’s been unfair to you and I don’t agree with the credit he’s getting for being honest. He’s went from talking about how much he enjoyed kissing you to a sudden stop.. it’s a dick move I’ve heard men do too many times.
My only advice is to keep your guard up for the first few months until they prove themselves.

I do agree with this too. I suppose I was just giving him credit for not letting it drag on too long or just use her until he moved.
I never let myself get carried away after a first date but it was a lesson I had to learn early on in the dating game.
I've become way too hard as a result of a lot of crappy experiences. A kiss would do nothing for me initially.
But @PiesAndLattes is new to it all and you seem to have a great attitude. It's understandable that you were excited after a great date but you'll learn as you continue on your journey

 

[PiesAndLattes]

I do agree with this too. I suppose I was just giving him credit for not letting it drag on too long or just use her until he moved.
I never let myself get carried away after a first date but it was a lesson I had to learn early on in the dating game.
I've become way too hard as a result of a lot of crappy experiences. A kiss would do nothing for me initially.
But @PiesAndLattes is new to it all and you seem to have a great attitude. It's understandable that you were excited after a great date but you'll learn as you continue on your journey

Thank you, it wasn’t just the kiss, he was more forthcoming than I was with his interest in dating me and whatever. That held more weight than the kiss! But I appreciate the support from everyone, all my friends are married or in long term relationships so no one really understands getting back into dating in this climate so it’s great to have this thread!

So glad you wrote this ! I've experienced ' the something came up ' a few times and my gut has always told me it's a lame excuse to give someone the brush off so they feel less of a dick for wasting your time, because the reality is they are just not interested! If someone wants you they will move heaven so you know it !

I think all the other replies are valid too but my old cynical head very much is with candyland_ on this one

Thanks also for chiming in. It is just strange as it was him who seemed more interested that’s why I allowed myself to feel some small feelings! And he doesn’t know that my ex was in the same industry so I very much know he wouldn’t have been offered this job last minute… my ex also went and worked overseas so I understand how it happens in his job. It’s just a strange scenario but I guess we owe eachother nothing it’s just it’s a strange situation. One to tuck into the memory bank and remember in the future! Lesson learnt.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Thank you, it wasn’t just the kiss, he was more forthcoming than I was with his interest in dating me and whatever. That held more weight than the kiss! But I appreciate the support from everyone, all my friends are married or in long term relationships so no one really understands getting back into dating in this climate so it’s great to have this thread!



Thanks also for chiming in. It is just strange as it was him who seemed more interested that’s why I allowed myself to feel some small feelings! And he doesn’t know that my ex was in the same industry so I very much know he wouldn’t have been offered this job last minute… my ex also went and worked overseas so I understand how it happens in his job. It’s just a strange scenario but I guess we owe eachother nothing it’s just it’s a strange situation. One to tuck into the memory bank and remember in the future! Lesson learnt.

Sounds like a classic love bomber

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

One thing I have on my list to do now is to buy more perfume! I only have one and I want to get a little collection going to make myself feel good. You have a nice list there!

Be prepared to become addicted

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Be prepared to become addicted

Good addiction though right? I have a list started and I’ll try buy myself one for special occasions

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Good addiction though right? I have a list started and I’ll try buy myself one for special occasions

Ooohh, I would love to hear what is on your list.

Well, it is a pricey hobby to be honest. I bought Clean Cashmere and Kenzo Elephant on Ebay today (half price, but new) as I am looking for a winter scent.

 

[realhousewivewannabe]

Thanks for the replies, especially @Clickbait. I’ve never looked at myself as having good qualities to offer but actually I do, we all really do!

I spent a few days being upset, mainly angry at myself for getting blocked by another man after I tried to call (I have an internal issue with this I’m trying to work mainly taking everything personally and bouncing back after rejection, but there’s just been too many recently. I dated someone a while ago who would do this when he didn’t want to speak to me, but he’d also give me a few curse words before blocking me).

My Mother dragged me out of my crying mess and around London with her yesterday and that was a nice day.

Text Update: I got a text from the guy who I was supposed to go on a date with yesterday. I debated replying and wasn’t going to but I stupidly did To which he never opened. I should have checked on here instead of embarrassing myself again. I’ve never had someone tell me it’s not going to work /hard based on a drive between us before even meeting me, I do feel like there’s probably more too it but he doesn’t want to meet me so that’s it. I know it shouldn’t be rare that someone (like the 37 year old ) would drive to where I live to see me or the other way around but no one seems to want to. I don’t usually ask guys to meet me where I live, he just wanted to explore what I am near.

I am going to sit and write my list but also some goals for the new month /my 29th birthday goals this afternoon. And for the sake of not having another birthday breakdown including being single I will be avoiding apps and men next month. @ATV2021 please share this November challenge again x

@PiesAndLattes sorry to hear he’s moving away that always sucks. I totally feel you about the potential / what the future could have been like. I think that’s always the hardest part. Sending

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Thanks for the replies, especially @Clickbait. I’ve never looked at myself as having good qualities to offer but actually I do, we all really do!

I spent a few days being upset, mainly angry at myself for getting blocked by another man after I tried to call (I have an internal issue with this I’m trying to work mainly taking everything personally and bouncing back after rejection, but there’s just been too many recently. I dated someone a while ago who would do this when he didn’t want to speak to me, but he’d also give me a few curse words before blocking me).

My Mother dragged me out of my crying mess and around London with her yesterday and that was a nice day.

Text Update: I got a text from the guy who I was supposed to go on a date with yesterday. I debated replying and wasn’t going to but I stupidly did To which he never opened. I should have checked on here instead of embarrassing myself again. I’ve never had someone tell me it’s not going to work /hard based on a drive between us before even meeting me, I do feel like there’s probably more too it but he doesn’t want to meet me so that’s it. I know it shouldn’t be rare that someone (like the 37 year old ) would drive to where I live to see me or the other way around but no one seems to want to. I don’t usually ask guys to meet me where I live, he just wanted to explore what I am near.
View attachment 839512
I am going to sit and write my list but also some goals for the new month /my 29th birthday goals this afternoon. And for the sake of not having another birthday breakdown including being single I will be avoiding apps and men next month. @ATV2021 please share this November challenge again x

@PiesAndLattes sorry to hear he’s moving away that always sucks. I totally feel you about the potential / what the future could have been like. I think that’s always the hardest part. Sending

Yes it would have been better to ignore,but the message you sent was absolutely fine. Don't feel embarrassed at all.
I think on this thread there are periods of lots of great positive stories about dating and then we have times like this when a few of us are feeling a bit down.
I do think it's OK to have our off days and sometimes it is OK to feel sad.

 

[ATV2021]

Thanks for the replies, especially @Clickbait. I’ve never looked at myself as having good qualities to offer but actually I do, we all really do!

I spent a few days being upset, mainly angry at myself for getting blocked by another man after I tried to call (I have an internal issue with this I’m trying to work mainly taking everything personally and bouncing back after rejection, but there’s just been too many recently. I dated someone a while ago who would do this when he didn’t want to speak to me, but he’d also give me a few curse words before blocking me).

My Mother dragged me out of my crying mess and around London with her yesterday and that was a nice day.

Text Update: I got a text from the guy who I was supposed to go on a date with yesterday. I debated replying and wasn’t going to but I stupidly did To which he never opened. I should have checked on here instead of embarrassing myself again. I’ve never had someone tell me it’s not going to work /hard based on a drive between us before even meeting me, I do feel like there’s probably more too it but he doesn’t want to meet me so that’s it. I know it shouldn’t be rare that someone (like the 37 year old ) would drive to where I live to see me or the other way around but no one seems to want to. I don’t usually ask guys to meet me where I live, he just wanted to explore what I am near.
View attachment 839512
I am going to sit and write my list but also some goals for the new month /my 29th birthday goals this afternoon. And for the sake of not having another birthday breakdown including being single I will be avoiding apps and men next month. @ATV2021 please share this November challenge again x

@PiesAndLattes sorry to hear he’s moving away that always sucks. I totally feel you about the potential / what the future could have been like. I think that’s always the hardest part. Sending

https://www.getyoursoulmate.com/naughty-november there you go. X

 

[boomska]

Not a date but I did go out last night & had a cheeky snog with someone he was a bit of a wet flannel to be honest, so I didn’t grab his number…& I’m ok with that lol

 

[hereforthememe]

aw everyone I got news! The guy I've been seeing recently and clicked so well with asked me to be his girlfriend

 

[mehere]

Here for it @hereforthememe!!

 

[NoseyNiamh]

aw everyone I got news! The guy I've been seeing recently and clicked so well with asked me to be his girlfriend

Brilliant, this is great news

 

[boomska]

aw everyone I got news! The guy I've been seeing recently and clicked so well with asked me to be his girlfriend

Amazing!!!!

 

[HelloStereo]

aw everyone I got news! The guy I've been seeing recently and clicked so well with asked me to be his girlfriend

Congratulations

 

[Thank(space)you]

aw everyone I got news! The guy I've been seeing recently and clicked so well with asked me to be his girlfriend

Omg that's amazing news! Inspiration for us all, so pleased for you

 

[Ohheyyyyy]

If anyone needs cheering up this will make you laugh.

This is a guy I dated a few years ago that used to call me a psycho because I always used to have a gut feeling something was amiss about him. It's a very very long story but to keep it short I was right in the end. He was still engaged and then got married to her. Despite messaging me on Holiday when he was over there getting married the last line about not being able to lie is the best