Dating after lockdown #12 It’s all got a bit dark

[hereforthememe]

Thought I would have been more active after my first date but not much to report we have our second date tomorrow, he booked it all. We text everyday, but just the right amount so there’s still stuff left to talk about on the date. Question though - third date, is it to soon to suggest the person to come over for say drinks and some dinner in the house? Don’t want to ruin it to quickly by having them over

There is no right answer here other than when you feel comfortable.

I've done that on date 2, done it on date 6 before... Depends on so many different factors

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Drop the self limiting beliefs as they're desperate to be proved right! Lol just go with the flow, relax and enjoy. If it's not right it won't be and if it is then it will be. Live in the today - past has gone and future isn't guaranteed so just enjoy

This is so true, thanks for the reality check everyone! I will just enjoy this man for now, in the present, and for whatever reason he has been sent into my life for

 

[NoseyNiamh]

This is so true, thanks for the reality check everyone! I will just enjoy this man for now, in the present, and for whatever reason he has been sent into my life for

The only think you should be worrying about at this stage is if he has a micro pen or not

 

[Bloody orange Hell]

He is just a bit cringe lol

I agree. Just watched it. The over enunciation, the forcefulness. And the idea that you arent enough. So should upgrade to what the ex wanted but do it for yourself.
That’s a lot if energy spent on someone who broke your heart. Surely push them out of your mind and develop what you love.
He does finger guns too

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I agree. Just watched it. The over enunciation, the forcefulness. And the idea that you arent enough. So should upgrade to what the ex wanted but do it for yourself.
That’s a lot if energy spent on someone who broke your heart. Surely push them out of your mind and develop what you love.
He does finger guns too

He is helping some people though

 

[PiesAndLattes]

The only think you should be worrying about at this stage is if he has a micro pen or not

Honestly it’s crossed my mind and I’m so scared to find out will be such a let down as the kiss was fire so if the pen is good, I’m sure sex will be great! My friend got pen-fished on the weekend by her hinge lover… but she waited too long (I think). It had been maybe 3-4 months and they only slept together on the weekend and it was really tit and disappointing. He also told her that he always comes first

 

[Bloody orange Hell]

Hi everyone

This is such a dumb question (lol) but my second date is next week with my guy from the weekend! I’m nervous about what a second date entails… I am super scared to talk about my relationship history (especially given it’s so recent). Any advice? Calm my nerves pls haha.

Do you think you have got nervous because the first date was so good?
Remember you are the same awesome person you were on that date. And if your last puts him off, he really isn’t right for you. You can’t change it, you don’t want to start lying about it.
I agree though. It’s too early to share confidences but a refusal to talk about it would seem weird. Why not have a quick précis in your mind to say, and then move the conversation on? If he is digging and won’t let it go, it’s a big red flag.

Try not to worry. Distract yourself when you feel it approaching. Otherwise you’ll go mad for two weeks.
I started getting the beginning of anxiety attacks when I was revising for my finals in uni. Whenever I felt one coming on, I would get my most boring bit of work out and start that. It was formatting a huge literature reference list correctly, so needed full attention but not active thought. It always calmed me down. Maybe try to head off your anxiety?

He is helping some people though

Ok

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Honestly it’s crossed my mind and I’m so scared to find out will be such a let down as the kiss was fire so if the pen is good, I’m sure sex will be great! My friend got pen-fished on the weekend by her hinge lover… but she waited too long (I think). It had been maybe 3-4 months and they only slept together on the weekend and it was really tit and disappointing. He also told her that he always comes first

Your poor friend, what an awful letdown.
I think the next person I date I will try and get it out of the way early on (after date 3), not even full-blown sex, but have a preview. I need to know what I'm dealing with before investing any more of my time.

 

[PiesAndLattes]

Do you think you have got nervous because the first date was so good?
Remember you are the same awesome person you were on that date. And if your last puts him off, he really isn’t right for you. You can’t change it, you don’t want to start lying about it.
I agree though. It’s too early to share confidences but a refusal to talk about it would seem weird. Why not have a quick précis in your mind to say, and then move the conversation on? If he is digging and won’t let it go, it’s a big red flag.

Try not to worry. Distract yourself when you feel it approaching. Otherwise you’ll go mad for two weeks.
I started getting the beginning of anxiety attacks when I was revising for my finals in uni. Whenever I felt one coming on, I would get my most boring bit of work out and start that. It was formatting a huge literature reference list correctly, so needed full attention but not active thought. It always calmed me down. Maybe try to head off your anxiety?


Ok

yes I think so, I believe I went into the first date not expecting much but then it turned out so good and so unexpected that now I’m a bit nervous about the whole thing! I also have never dated after a long term relationship and whilst I’m fine and ready to date it does bring up some weird little emotions I didn’t expect, but they are ok, I’m dealing fine! Just not knowing what to expect is hard but I guess you would never know because even if this was my 50th second date, every guy is different.

He got the dates wrong and he’s back next week! So I said I can catch up but just for a breakfast and walk as nights are my study time and I don’t like drinking and late nights during exams (doesn’t help the anxiety or stress levels) so I’ll see him in 6 days… not long at all!

Your poor friend, what an awful letdown.
I think the next person I date I will try and get it out of the way early on (after date 3), not even full-blown sex, but have a preview. I need to know what I'm dealing with before investing any more of my time.

Haha yes! A little preview she said it was small too so the whole situation was just a nightmare. I’m not sure how long I may wait if everything goes ok with this guy, I’ll see what I feel like lol. I have date 5 in my head for some reason.

 

[ATV2021]

He is helping some people though

Yeah and everyone will find the person who resonates with them the most. As said before I personally like Noor Hibbert but she won't be for everyone. I'm looking forward to Persia Lawsons naughty November challenge next week too!

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Thank you, it’s just going so well and he’s so freaking nice I just don’t want to blow it all up haha.

You won't blow it up. It is a two-way street after all, you also need to find out if you like him.

What is pen-fished? And isn't 3-4 months a really long time to wait? Especially in Australia (sorry for the cliche )

 

[PiesAndLattes]

You won't blow it up. It is a two-way street after all, you also need to find out if you like him.

What is pen-fished? And isn't 3-4 months a really long time to wait? Especially in Australia (sorry for the cliche )

Haha like cat-fished. She said he would go on and on about his amazing package and we all know it’s usually the ones who bang on about their massive ones that usually don’t have the massive ones. She said it totally sucked after the hype. Haha yes! I’m not really sure if she was totally ready to date because she just didn’t really seem fully into it and wouldn’t even kiss him or anything, they only properly kissed that night they had sex. I’m okay with the cliché as an Australian it’s relatively true! I know plenty who have slept with their dates by date 2/3 to suss out the situation before progressing further.

 

[Kitty kat 20]

Hi ladies

I need your guidance, so I've been chatting to a guy for a few days, I didn't meet him on an app, he added me on fb lol I know

Anyway he has asked to meet but I don't know what he's looking for. Should I just ask him?

I also don't know if I'm ready to date either but that's a whole other situation.

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Haha like cat-fished. She said he would go on and on about his amazing package and we all know it’s usually the ones who bang on about their massive ones that usually don’t have the massive ones. She said it totally sucked after the hype. Haha yes! I’m not really sure if she was totally ready to date because she just didn’t really seem fully into it and wouldn’t even kiss him or anything, they only properly kissed that night they had sex. I’m okay with the cliché as an Australian it’s relatively true! I know plenty who have slept with their dates by date 2/3 to suss out the situation before progressing further.

OMG, I never had someone talk about their "package", it is beyond embarrassing.

I have to say that I did the deed on the first date with the last guy I was dating.
And would find date 3-5 pretty normal. And I am (sadly) not Australian But I did have an Australian lover for a while (I was in love, for him it was purely casual. He wasn't very nice to me in the end and I was heartbroken. Ages ago now).

 

[NoseyNiamh]

If anyone has watched Squid Games and are familiar with my posts, you'll know I'd be gone within seconds

 

[PiesAndLattes]

OMG, I never had someone talk about their "package", it is beyond embarrassing.

I have to say that I did the deed on the first date with the last guy I was dating.
And would find date 3-5 pretty normal. And I am (sadly) not Australian But I did have an Australian lover for a while (I was in love, for him it was purely casual. He wasn't very nice to me in the end and I was heartbroken. Ages ago now).

I agree, date 3-5 is pretty normal I think! I have the notion in my head I’ll sleep with new guy if things progress around date 4-5. I think it’s a good sweet spot for me personally. Haha and yes us Australians are pretty cool, but again I’m very biased (and proud to be Australian!).

 

[ATV2021]

I agree, date 3-5 is pretty normal I think! I have the notion in my head I’ll sleep with new guy if things progress around date 4-5. I think it’s a good sweet spot for me personally. Haha and yes us Australians are pretty cool, but again I’m very biased (and proud to be Australian!).

I go with the vibe when it comes to sleeping with someone - like its been said imagine waiting until date 10 and you're committed but they're god awful/selfish lovers and/or micro....it would be so sad

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I go with the vibe when it comes to sleeping with someone - like its been said imagine waiting until date 10 and you're committed but they're god awful/selfish lovers and/or micro....it would be so sad

But it is so hard to break up with someone!

I tolerated bad sex for too long, far too long actually, with one guy as I was hoping things would improve and saw potential in our relationship.

Do people really break up over bad sex?

 

[NoseyNiamh]

But it is so hard to break up with someone!

I tolerated bad sex for too long, far too long actually, with one guy as I was hoping things would improve and saw potential in our relationship.

Do people really break up over bad sex?

I have been lucky so far, but yes, I would break up over bad sex

 

[grumpy_curry]

But it is so hard to break up with someone!

I tolerated bad sex for too long, far too long actually, with one guy as I was hoping things would improve and saw potential in our relationship.

Do people really break up over bad sex?

Well, my ex had a pretty small pen and it definitely was one reason I broke it off with him.