Dating after lockdown #12 It’s all got a bit dark

[Clickbait]

Yeah politely say goodbye and run for the hills. I'm all for people being upfront but more like "I see myself living like this...." not you can move in before you've even met

Agree. There are ways of telling someone that they’re looking for a committed relationship and are serious about making it work rather than “we must move in together within a fortnight or else it won’t work for me” - it’s the classic narc love bombing behaviour:

* I think this, I want this, you should think and want the same otherwise I won’t love you as much.
* Why don’t you want to move in with me after 2 dates, I thought you were invested in this relationship? I thought you liked me and wanted a future with me?
* Don’t you think this is why you’re single? Someone reaches out and just wants to love you and you push them away.
* I think you have trust issues. I’m not like all the other men, I’m different you can trust me. I’m hurt you can’t see that.
* I don’t like this side to you, it’s not attractive. You have problems etc.

 

[ATV2021]

Agree. There are ways of telling someone that they’re looking for a committed relationship and are serious about making it work rather than “we must move in together within a fortnight or else it won’t work for me” - it’s the classic narc love bombing behaviour:

* I think this, I want this, you should think and want the same otherwise I won’t love you as much.
* Why don’t you want to move in with me after 2 dates, I thought you were invested in this relationship? I thought you liked me and wanted a future with me?
* Don’t you think this is why you’re single? Someone reaches out and just wants to love you and you push them away.
* I think you have trust issues. I’m not like all the other men, I’m different you can trust me. I’m hurt you can’t see that.
* I don’t like this side to you, it’s not attractive. You have problems etc.

This is also where self development is brilliant because you'll have your own set boundaries in place and be able to confidently say NOPE bye lol

I remain hopeful that there are still normal people out there and the one for me is on route!

 

[lokiofasgard]

I have been together with the guy for 3 weeks, we are going to Tenerife for Christmas and I brought my cat to his place yesterday so we kinda live together now?

 

[Clickbait]

I have been together with the guy for 3 weeks, we are going to Tenerife for Christmas and I brought my cat to his place yesterday so we kinda live together now?

I wish you success with it, it really sounds like a whirlwind romance from a film. I just wonder if you have thought about a plan b were it to go wrong?

I guess I’m a naturally cautious person. My bf moved in with me after less than 3 months of dating but it was because of lockdown, it was my home so I could ask him to leave at any time, and he had his own flat to go back to so I wouldn’t have been making him homeless. I don’t think I would have moved so quickly without a global pandemic!

Just want to make sure you’ll be ok if things change.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I have been together with the guy for 3 weeks, we are going to Tenerife for Christmas and I brought my cat to his place yesterday so we kinda live together now?

Did you leave the cat there?

 

[lokiofasgard]

I wish you success with it, it really sounds like a whirlwind romance from a film. I just wonder if you have thought about a plan b were it to go wrong?

I guess I’m a naturally cautious person. My bf moved in with me after less than 3 months of dating but it was because of lockdown, it was my home so I could ask him to leave at any time, and he had his own flat to go back to so I wouldn’t have been making him homeless. I don’t think I would have moved so quickly without a global pandemic!

Just want to make sure you’ll be ok if things change.

Did you leave the cat there?

I still have my own flat and it is really close to his place so I can leave any time. I haven't brought my things here either, because I am vary. So I have backup for if things go wrong. I just spend so much time here I wanted my cat to be here with me as well and it was his idea. It was kind of annoying bringing our stuff from his to mine and opposite all the time. But yeah, I am cautious.

 

[radoxdetox]

Can anyone else not be arsed to be going out on dates in this weather? or I am just being lazy letting the amber flags (no social media and no WhatsApp pic) put me off

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

Can anyone else not be arsed to be going out on dates in this weather? or I am just being lazy letting the amber flags (no social media and no WhatsApp pic) put me off

Me! I am in full hibernation mode, hairy legs and greasy hair! Sexy

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Can anyone else not be arsed to be going out on dates in this weather? or I am just being lazy letting the amber flags (no social media and no WhatsApp pic) put me off

Who doesn't use WhatsApp??

 

[hereforthememe]

Who doesn't use WhatsApp??

I got the ick from a guy who only wanted to chat with snapchat (the chat function, no pics haha) when tbh all I wanted was his number to text - like normal people!

 

[radoxdetox]

Who doesn't use WhatsApp??

He does have it but won’t put a pic up but also no social media except Messenger, but hasn’t offered that but is verified ok bumble but also sent me a selfie where he looked like someone had just told him his Mum had died … he’s making it too difficult and me

Two with no pics!!!!!!!!! One now has a pic lol

 

[NoseyNiamh]

He does have it but won’t put a pic up but also no social media except Messenger, but hasn’t offered that but is verified ok bumble but also sent me a selfie where he looked like someone had just told him his Mum had died … he’s making it too difficult and me

View attachment 833885
Two with no pics!!!!!!!!! One now has a pic lol

I thought you need Facebook to use Messenger?

 

[Captainmouse]

Who doesn't use WhatsApp??

Me no face ache, no insta, no tiktok, no whatever else

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Me no face ache, no insta, no tiktok, no whatever else

Wow. Completely incognito

 

[whathastheworldcometo]

I would love the "Happy Ghosting " title for Halloween. Really getting into the spirit. Watching The Mansion right now

 

[ATV2021]

I'm reading my way through this book. I do love Noor!

 

[ThreeSteaksPam]

@radoxdetox There’s a setting on Whatsapp where you can block people from seeing your profile picture unless you have them saved as a contact. He just might not have stored your number yet

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Well my date was a complete wick. I only stayed for one drink and left. He was Uber posh and arrogant and spent the entire time we were together talking about his affair and the psychological reasons behind it. I was like…nah…you’re just a common or garden cheat.
It went round in circles until I finally thanked him for showing me who he is this early on. I left, got some hot, salty chips and ducked off home. so proud of myself cos he did have amazing broad shoulders and lovely strong arms!

 

[HelloStereo]

Well my date was a complete wick. I only stayed for one drink and left. He was Uber posh and arrogant and spent the entire time we were together talking about his affair and the psychological reasons behind it. I was like…nah…you’re just a common or garden cheat.
It went round in circles until I finally thanked him for showing me who he is this early on. I left, got some hot, salty chips and ducked off home. so proud of myself cos he did have amazing broad shoulders and lovely strong arms!

Well done for recognising the red flags and that he's not right for you and leaving!

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Well my date was a complete wick. I only stayed for one drink and left. He was Uber posh and arrogant and spent the entire time we were together talking about his affair and the psychological reasons behind it. I was like…nah…you’re just a common or garden cheat.
It went round in circles until I finally thanked him for showing me who he is this early on. I left, got some hot, salty chips and ducked off home. so proud of myself cos he did have amazing broad shoulders and lovely strong arms!

Good on you. I bet you feel great now?