Dating after lockdown #10 Morris dancing with red flags

[BunnyLebowski]

He’s being selfish but the red flag is him coming over at 1am.

Good point, but to be fair, he did come and pick me up, take me to his then drove me home the next day. And I did initiate the situation. Buuuut, I do have maternal vibes because he has a colostomy bag and I love a rescue project. He is loaded though with one of those Tesla type cars.

 

[NoseyNiamh]

I agree with you all. I do believe him but he could have text me to say and that he needed time alone. I wouldn't have bothered him and would have respected his wishes.

I don't want to make it all about me and should let it go but it's not acceptable.

But I am just going on the fact that, if it were me, I know I would have messaged him and not let him think that I didn't care and didn't want to see him.

You are coming across as a very smart and articulate person. You can do so much better than a texting relationship.
Move on

 

[LaurieLaurie]

Good point, but to be fair, he did come and pick me up, take me to his then drove me home the next day. And I did initiate the situation. Buuuut, I do have maternal vibes because he has a colostomy bag and I love a rescue project. He is loaded though with one of those Tesla type cars.

I know a few men who just don’t like to go down on women. They wouldn’t be for me

 

[BunnyLebowski]

I know a few men who just don’t like to go down on women. They wouldn’t be for me

Nor me. In fact it’s a dealbreaker

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Nor me. In fact it’s a dealbreaker

I hate it

 

[Bettyboo2021]

Does Gareth think you're stupid?! Nowhere to go in a tourist place?! You're well rid and yes he was definitely married!

Yes it seems a nicer way to meet people by chance and not on a dating site. Often a friend of a friend or someone at work etc but the trouble is when you get older that your age group of men all seem to be married (or pretending they're not!) or living with someone.

I know I had no intention of meeting him again just wanted to get rid of the niggling thing in my head....
I think your guard is down when you meet people through friends which can make for a more natural start to things- im defo not cut out for the rejection of internet dating xx

 

[katyazamo]

Alex responded to my messages. He said his Dad died last week and he's been by himself, not wanting to talk.

I apologised and said he should have told me.

I'm taking a step back because either way he didn't tell me and I jumped to thinking the worst and letting my insecurities get the better so it says it all about us. I have had a cry though. What a nasty witch I am.

You're not nasty at all. You weren't to know. Respect and communication is important in all relationships, whether that's romantic or platonic or family.

You were chatting for a few months, is that right? So you're involved to some extent, and by that point you'd hope he'd be able to share these things with you. I can't tell someone what to do when a parent dies, everyone handles it differently...but at the same time, I do think you need to face up to things and send a quick message to people who are in your circle to say "hey, just letting you know my dad has passed, I'm coping but will need a bit of space". I remember watching my dad phoning up everyone who needed to know when his dad died and was taken aback at how well he handled it - certainly didn't hide away for weeks avoiding it.

Probably best to leave it for now and see how it goes.

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Ok shall I start a new thread?

 

[NoseyNiamh]

Ok shall I start a new thread?

Go for it Bunny

 

[BunnyLebowski]

Dating after lockdown #11 My dating life…one bad decision!

Hi Gang, welcome to the new thread. To old friends and newbies alike, much love and continued support 💕💕💕♥🍷🍷 mod edit: Please remember to report old thread to have it closed

tattle.life

link to new thread gang!

 

[HelloStereo]

I agree with you all. I do believe him but he could have text me to say and that he needed time alone. I wouldn't have bothered him and would have respected his wishes.

I don't want to make it all about me and should let it go but it's not acceptable.

But I am just going on the fact that, if it were me, I know I would have messaged him and not let him think that I didn't care and didn't want to see him.

To be fair, if something is affecting you that badly and making you feel that down, sometimes you don't think how other people are feeling if you're not texting them. It probably didn't even register that you were worried about him / felt hurt he hadn't text you if something as big as a parent dying happened.

It's up to you whether you can let it go this time though.