Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

[latranla]

the thought of wearing primark and driving a focus give you anxiety? And you wouldn’t want to be with someone earning, what I consider a decent wage. But it’s all about the money. Not falling in love and being with someone because of them. But by what their bank balance says

Not all about the money but I do believe it’s an important factor in marriage or looking for a partner aswell as their goals , ambitions abs what kind of lifestyle they want to lead !

 

[emm]

No, I'm very ambitious and earn very well. If I was with someone who wasn't ambitious / wasn't earning the same or close to I would feel like there is an imbalance in the relationship. Imho, in relationships where there is a huge pay gap between partners, the one with the high salary usually has the leverage over the other and I wouldn't want someone to have that over me or have that over someone else. I would personally want to feel equal in terms of contributing to our lifestyle together. Just my 2p

Interesting, the only couples j nknow with big salary gaps are always the men earning more and usually couples with children so the woman does more childcare. Does anyone know any couples that do the opposite?

 

[latranla]

Tbh, I just think you're someone who wants that lifestyle and you live through the Instagrammers you follow.
95% of your posts on Tattle are questioning how someone can afford the things they show in their life. Or insisting that the people aren't as rich as they appear.
You're obsessed with other people's wealth and whether they're 'rich' or not

Just over a year ago you said you lived in a flat, now own some expensive house and your business was just starting up but within a year, you earn 50k after expenses.

Correct we lived in a flat which we now rent out and moved to a house and yes to the second point because I like conversations which revolve around money , wealth , life style goals and nice things ! Never once said I was rich ( whatever you all class as rich anyway) or claimed I could by a Ferrari so not sure where these comments are coming from asking me if I can afford a Ferrari or people banging on here about knowing people who are much richer than me .

 

[latranla]

I actually didn’t ask if you drove an Audi. I suggested you did. You didn’t need to tell me you drive a Porsche and had a Range Rover.
Please use some of your extensive wealth to invest in some English lessons. Your use of grammar is appalling.

I didn’t even think it was ‘ showy ‘saying I used to drive a Range and now a Porsche as they are quite common anyway, like someone else said and I just happen to like 4x4 cars now and find it hard to go back to something like my first car my Toyota !

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Sorry, I have no idea! I’m wearing NL jeggings today. I buy my everyday leggings from Primark too (I like the £5 high waisted ones) I’m told that Sainsbury’s luxury leggings are excellent but they’re a bit more than £2.50!

Oooh I'm going to get a pair of these jeggings. I haven't worn jeggings in years but I had a pair from topshop which I absolutely lived in, i loved them that much

 

[latranla]

Do you still claim that you’re not judgemental?

No but I’m if somethings ugly its ugly !

 

[HoGi]

Interesting, the only couples j nknow with big salary gaps are always the men earning more and usually couples with children so the woman does more childcare. Does anyone know any couples that do the opposite?

The only couple I know where the woman was a much higher earner it ended in tears.

She was on about 40k plus overtime as project manager. He was self employed in a creative self employed role. Never earned enough to pay tax. He also wasn't ambitious so some days he would just stay in bed or smoke weed instead of making any money.

Ended with them splitting up and her paying him an agreed sum monthly to buy him out of the house.

 

[latranla]

You keep mentioning a Toyota, I’m convinced that is what you are driving

No but I have to admit I miss it as had it for along time it was my first car! I just could not bring myself to drive such a car again as I like nice 4X4s now !

 

[ThePidge]

you sound like a girl I used to know, thought she was something living in her partner's home in a posh area gladly told people how she was better as her home was in a better area.. Relationship broke down and she had to move shes back with mammy because she can't afford to rent in the area she desires to live in

You’ve just described me in my previous relationship…. Oh how I was humbled

 

[latranla]

It’s not getting to people, people are just embarrassed for you because no one can seriously be this embarrassing

don’t get it I just stated I like nice things and don’t want to go back to driving an average car and have no desire to live average ( eg one holiday a year to
Magaluf and live in primark clothes my whole life ) I only mentioned the cars I owned as someone asked if I was an Audi driver ! That’s the point of the thread to discuss our lifestyle / financial , goals and desires in an honest way !

 

[latranla]

I actually wonder if you’re a bit stupid? Your lack of grammar and correct spelling certain makes it seems that way?

in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the only one making these comments about you. I think the only person that sees things the way you do, is you.

I don’t have an issue with you not wanting to wear primark, myself and others have an issue with you looking down your nose at those that do.

How do you know I don’t have wealth myself? This is the problem with people like you, you think you’re high and mighty and that everyone else is beneath you.

I don’t have an issue with you talking about “wealth” or “luxury”, I don’t have an issue with anyone talking about those kind of things, (you’re just presuming I don’t have those too because you like to look down your nose at everyone) I have an issue with you making snobbish remarks about people that you believe are beneath yourself.

I have 0 issues with you not wanting to wear primark. This is the problem, you lack intelligence so you can’t come up with a constructive argument and you go back on yourself and you misunderstand points being made.

When have I ever mentioned looking down on someone ? I just said I would struggle to marry / date someone who only ever wanted to say earn 25-30k a year until they are 40/50 years old due to the lifestyle I desire and that I would like want them to desire too!

 

[latranla]

I buy second hand from eBay so at least you’re buying brand new

Nothing wrong with second hand if it’s quality stuff, primark is fine for lounge wear etc just not something I’d personally want to be in all the time though and if going somewhere nice , I love designer bags though and some do actually go up
In value

 

[rainbowlemon]

Who knew Scrabble made that list too?

 

[latranla]

[

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

wearing prinark

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

yea I do like luxury items so what and don’t want to wear primark all the time so what !? Oh bore off with your self righteous crap and and while I only earn 50k it suits me well as it’s just part time and have a child and it’s a little start up recruitment business which I plan to grow ! Husband

Over thinking what? I don’t need to over think anything because you’ve made your points perfectly clear. You’ve literally said that the thought of wearing primark would give you anxiety and you’d prefer your car to have “luxury”.

you’re now trying to back track on everything you’ve said. Even though you’ve just admitted you only earn 50k yourself and most of your money comes from your husband. Embarrassing or what.

I don’t even believe half of what you’re saying about yourself or your husband. You sound like a fantasist.

Yes everything I said is made up we actually live in Slough and live in a 400k house and have a household income of 80k a year … hope that makes you feel better and I drive a 10k car maybe that will make you feel even more better… god forbid anyone who talks to you about wealth , luxury and wanting to grow / better themselves with a start up business and so what if I do t want to wear primark clothes all the time , why does it bother you so much !? I just like quality clothing never said it has to be designer clothes ! …

 

[latranla]

Serious question for the OP.

Say you were single and on a first date, would you ask for their salary upfront? Because 99% of men would run a mile if you did.
Or how long would you be committed to dating until you found out his salary? Say it was a year down the line and you were in love, what would you do?

You can tell that you live off someone else’s money as your grammar is atrocious!
For what it’s worth, the next village to us is Millionaire’s Row. There’s serious, serious money there. The kind of money that you probably still aspire to. I’m talking very very high end cars and multiples of them, not the Chelsea Tractor you drive that are ten a penny. There’s housing a little bit further out that’s also into the millions. Until recently there was a current England Rugby international living round here.

There’s a fair amount of money here but there’s also a lot of tradespeople. And I know from my line of work that tradespeople can make one heck of a lot of money (although some more than others) No doubt you would look down on them but blimey, I tell you what, sometimes I think I’m in the wrong job here.
It’s not just all about being ambitious with ‘careers and businesses’ desperate people will pay more for an emergency plumber, electrician or roofer than they will for some emergency business support or marketing.

And so what if none of your old friends earn more than 30k? At least they have the self respect of earning their own money and not living off someone else.

I don’t actually, while yes my husband is the highest earner, I do work from home as it’s flexible work , as we have a child
---

Wow.

So keeping up with the Jones for you? Bucks isn't any fancier than pockets of elsewhere fwiw. Where I live one side of the street is Housing Association properties and the other is £1m+ houses. Same in London. I grew up in a 'ghetto' as many called it, but down the back roads, you had sought after £m+ houses owned by the rich. Location means fuck all.

A lot of people, working people, are receiving benefit top ups to survive the cost of living. Its really not an alien concept that they 'may even be on benefits'.

Totally agree you can live in a nice area and then be right next to a shit hole down the road especially in London … where I live Slough is actually quite close , and probably the biggest shit hole area in Bucks (Milton Keynes too not but that’s a lot further )

 

[latranla]

"May even be on benefits/council housing"

I've a question for the OP; if the person you were in a relationship with was just a "poor" peasant earning below minimum wage and they, I dunno, won the lottery or came into a large amount of inheritence, would that change how much you loved them? And likewise, if they earned a large salary and then lost their job, would you stay with them?

For me, as for lots of posters on this thread, it's about ambition, drive and enjoying your job. I earn not very much but love my job. My OH earns a big salary and is very driven and also loves his job - winwin - but if he developed a passion for something that earned him a lower wage and wanted a career change I would support that 100%. As I think most people with half a brain and heart would.

Doing something you love its great but ultimately I still think you need to think of finances and for you future , are you happy to work until your practically dead (no one will be able live off the state pension that’s even if there will be one in future or unless your going to inherit enough ) , also you need atleast a million budget to live somewhere half decent that’s close enough to London ( for a 4 bed family home in a nice area) , depends what you want in life but nice house, nice car , holidays and private school fees ( all fairly normal and fair goals people aspire to have ) all add up financially and just being in a job that makes you happy , with no real long term earning potential won’t get you that !

 

[shadowcat5]

Lifestyle business
I’m not saying anymore. I really am not. That says it all!

And much as you think you’re not looking down on people- you very much are. My outfit today would probably horrify you (Primark sweatshirt and top, New Look jeggings) but you know what I’m comfortable and happy with what I’m wearing. I have a hoodie in the wardrobe that cost me £350 from Harrods, and another hoodie that cost me £250 (not from Harrods though) they’re all that’s left from when I was doing better. If it weren’t for the fact that the £350 hoodie has a hole in it and the £250 hoodie is so heavy and warm it saves a fortune on heating I would have sold them too. There are things that are more important than money.

Also you keep banging on that you have a child (we get it hun. More or less every single response you mention that) is it really the best lesson to be giving your child that all you should aspire to is marrying a rich partner?!

totally off topic here but are new look leggings any good? Mine are from primark and they are okay but I want some that are better quality as mine are starting to wear now and I find they start to look cheap really quickly (I wear them every day so understandable and I've got good use out of them for about £2.50). I thought about matalan but wanted to explore other options a well?