Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

Lazarus · Feb 20, 2023

@latranla may I ask what your cultural heritage is, please? You don’t have to answer that, but thought I’d ask.
I have a few colleagues from Asian background who are almost identical in their outlook to what you describe. I’m not from that background so was interested if it’s a cultural thing. Sorry if that seems offensive, I promise you I don’t mean it that way.

Baby Giraffe · Feb 20, 2023

latranla said:
When have I ever mentioned looking down on someone ? I just said I would struggle to marry / date someone who only ever wanted to say earn 25-30k a year until they are 40/50 years old due to the lifestyle I desire and that I would like want them to desire too!

Unfortunately the tone of all your posts shouts of you looking down on people and thinking you're better than them because you have spent lots of money on showy materialistic stuff.

Elles20 · Feb 20, 2023

I wouldn't mind my partner earning less than me but I don't think I'd be ok with him earning minimum wage. I am reasonable with my money but admittedly I'm quite a spender in the sense that I'd happily go out for meals and don't budget too much. I'd like my partner to join me in everything I do without feeling broke all the time. At the same time I also don't earn enough to support two people.

I had an ex who was earning about £20k who used to not be able to afford anything I'd like to do such as going on holidays, one-off spa days, fine dining for celebrations, etc. I was only on about £28k at the time so not a lot but I was willing to pay for these luxuries whereas he wasn't. A lot of the time I had to pay for us both which was OK occasionally but I didn't earn enough to pay for him constantly. It got to the point where he expected me to pay for it though . Even for my birthday meal I decided to go to a cheap restaurant (£20 per head) knowing that he couldn't afford anything more and I had to pay for that too...

. I know most people are NOT like this, but needless to say we weren't compatible when it came to money. It has put me off being with someone who can't afford (or can afford but don't want to pay for) these things.

Sunflower91 · Feb 20, 2023

emm said:
The issue is that ambition doesn't necessarily mean striving for more money it is also just striving to do your best in your job. I am jn a job that is pretty badly paid and has little scope for more but I like it and try and do my best every day. The idea that pay is indicative of how hard your work is/how important it is is ridiculous, as we all know the jobs that keep society working often tend to be vastly underpaid (ine isn't one of these it is just underpaid )

I agree. I know a fair amount of people paid less for something they love doing, and that requires more skill and brain power than I do. I don’t think pay is indicative of how hard people work- I say this as someone who’s paid a lot to move shapes in PowerPoint (and a bit miserable with it until I work out my options). I don’t think I was maybe articulating it very well but I see ambition and finance as two separate things. I want ambition to mirror my outlook on life, but a partner who earns a similar amount so then there’s not a concern of a financial power imbalance. Its maybe one of those things where my experiences in life make me anxious to either put myself in a vulnerable position of being out-earned or a potentially stressful situation of being needed for the heavy lifting on finances.

Vulnavia · Feb 20, 2023

princessmaire80 · Feb 20, 2023

Lifestyle business

I’m not saying anymore. I really am not. That says it all!

And much as you think you’re not looking down on people- you very much are. My outfit today would probably horrify you (Primark sweatshirt and top, New Look jeggings) but you know what I’m comfortable and happy with what I’m wearing. I have a hoodie in the wardrobe that cost me £350 from Harrods, and another hoodie that cost me £250 (not from Harrods though) they’re all that’s left from when I was doing better. If it weren’t for the fact that the £350 hoodie has a hole in it and the £250 hoodie is so heavy and warm it saves a fortune on heating I would have sold them too. There are things that are more important than money.

Also you keep banging on that you have a child (we get it hun. More or less every single response you mention that) is it really the best lesson to be giving your child that all you should aspire to is marrying a rich partner?!

Snippysnips · Feb 20, 2023

I always feel that people with genuine wealth never actually talk about wealth or show that they have it, I said before my dad an his side all come from high wealth an until they passed an inheritances were given out then I knew nothing of it, an I don't even think my dad knew to the true extent of what they had saved/been worth

People with wealth don't have the need to show it off because they have absolutely nobody to impress, the ones I find that try to show off they have money (when it's the husband's really) are usually the fake dolled up, fake tits, trophy wives

zoominmoom · Feb 20, 2023

RattyBumBum said:
I have traditionally always been with partners who had money. It was a requirement of mine. Long story short, all those relationships didn’t work and they treated me terribly.

Fast forward now, I’m about to marry the love of my life, he works a manual job, and earns less than me. He has no desire to change his job. There is no progress there eother

But He is hard working in what he does, loves his job and his work mates and is so so mentally happy and goes to work every day smiling.

I encourage him to be ambitious in his happiness not his career and I help and encourage him to follow his interests and enjoy his hobbies. He in turn is emotional and physically so supportive of me and my mental needs my and everything else.

We have a beautiful house, which is majority paid for by me, but he makes it a home with the love and happiness he’s given to me and my kids.

So yes, I could and will marry someone with less money than me and I’m going to be so happy doing it.
But you do you! But be happy first and foremost

What you said about him going to work every day smiling and loving his job - I think that's absolutely priceless. Obviously nobody wants to be living on the breadline but having a happy partner is so important! You could have a partner who earns £200k a year, hates their job and has a nervous breakdown and goes on long-term sick from the stress of it - then what are you going to do?!

JodieGreen123 · Feb 20, 2023

latranla said:
I didn’t even think it was ‘ showy ‘saying I used to drive a Range and now a Porsche as they are quite common anyway, like someone else said and I just happen to like 4x4 cars now and find it hard to go back to something like my first car my Toyota !

You know Toyota and other ‘peasant brands’ do 4x4s right? The rangey/Porsche logo does not make the car a 4x4!

RattyBumBum · Feb 20, 2023

zoominmoom said:
What you said about him going to work every day smiling and loving his job - I think that's absolutely priceless. Obviously nobody wants to be living on the breadline but having a happy partner is so important! You could have a partner who earns £200k a year, hates their job and has a nervous breakdown and goes on long-term sick from the stress of it - then what are you going to do?!

He does, he puts his little backpack on and smiles his little head off as he walks down the road to be picked up. I think if you love someone and they make you happy, their happiness should be a priority for you too. And if they love what they do and they’re not being paid a lot of money for it, but they’re mentally well that’s more important IMO.

Wild_she · Feb 20, 2023

Plot twist - OP actually drives a focus, lives in a council flat while her partner works a Minnie wage job, holidays at butlins and buys all her designer gear on Klarna, but has an online alter ego for something to entertain her while this morning adverts are on x

latranla · Feb 20, 2023

Rippedjeanmaybe said:
HAHAHA are you being serious?

hun, you didn’t need to say you look down on anyone, we KNOW you look down on people because of the comments you have made.

are you really that stupid that you can’t see how offensive, crass, snobby and frankly embarrassing some of your comments have been?

Not really and to be quite frank im loving life and

Lazarus said:
@latranla may I ask what your cultural heritage is, please? You don’t have to answer that, but thought I’d ask.
I have a few colleagues from Asian background who are almost identical in their outlook to what you describe. I’m not from that background so was interested if it’s a cultural thing. Sorry if that seems offensive, I promise you I don’t mean it that way.

no problem yes asian and half English but born here , my husband is also Asian heritage and you are right there is alot of emphasis often from that culture on doing well , being successful in well paid career etc if that is what you mean.
---

Wild_she said:
Plot twist - OP actually drives a focus, lives in a council flat while her partner works a Minnie wage job, holidays at butlins and buys all her designer gear on Klarna, but has an online alter ego for something to entertain her while this morning adverts are on x

At that point I would want to top myself

MagpieTree · Feb 20, 2023

RattyBumBum said:
He does, he puts his little backpack on and smiles his little head off as he walks down the road to be picked up. I think if you love someone and they make you happy, their happiness should be a priority for you too. And if they love what they do and they’re not being paid a lot of money for it, but they’re mentally well that’s more important IMO.

This is what my wife is like now! There's only 3 of them on the team but they seem to have a really good friendship, which I think always helps. I don't care what she earns, as long as I get to see her smile when I pick her up at night!

Dogtanian · Feb 20, 2023

Dizzy said:
Not to go OT but clearly doing just that, is dunking your junk after sex really a thing?!

It certainly is, and it's suitable for all locations. Hey, did I ever tell you how I got both a lifetime ban from Vue cinemas and a 50k cleaning bill for their vending machine? The story may not be as shocking now...

Penguinfeet · Feb 20, 2023

I did. My husband and I earn similar, he's on 28k, I'm on 31k. Money has never, ever been something I judged anyone on or wanted in my life particularly. Would it make life easier if I'd married a man on 100k? Possibly but my ex's were all on a lot more and frankly, they were fucking horrendous people so i'll take my 28k earning bloke and enjoy what we have.

Belle Amie · Feb 20, 2023

latranla said:
At that point I would want to top myself

Oh do me a favour love.
Haven’t you got a child or part time 50k FM perfume job to get back too. Can’t be arguing with a bunch of povos when you’re so rich.

ReginaPhalange4 · Feb 20, 2023

I think it's worth saying this is an anonymous site. No one knows if anything anyone is posting on here is the truth. We can make assumptions, like I assume the person who created this thread is a 14 year old girl, slightly spoilt but wants more than her parents can give and looks up to the likes of the Kardashians. Feels like if she tells enough lies they will come true and is generally a little sad sack.

I'd like to believe, especially in these days that no self respecting adult would come online being a braggy Betty and looking down their nose at anyone who has a job and earns their own money. We've all had a spell where we've been materialistic but we mature and realise you can't take it with you and there's a lot to be said for happiness.

It's also mid day on a Monday. Anyone earning a 6 figure salary is generally working and not sat on Tattle commenting on Ford focuses. Unless you're on maternity leave

Dogtanian · Feb 20, 2023

ReginaPhalange4 said:
It's also mid day on a Monday. Anyone earning a 6 figure salary is generally working and not sat on Tattle commenting on Ford focuses. Unless you're on maternity leave

Or you're a lazy skiving bastard like me...
Wait, do pence and the decimal point count as part of the 6 figures?

ReginaPhalange4 · Feb 20, 2023

so long as you're happy and not hurting anyone, you do you Tanian!

Dogtanian said:
Or you're a lazy skiving bastard like me...
Wait, do pence and the decimal point count as part of the 6 figures?

Jellybean093 · Feb 20, 2023

Snippysnips said:
I always feel that people with genuine wealth never actually talk about wealth or show that they have it, I said before my dad an his side all come from high wealth an until they passed an inheritances were given out then I knew nothing of it, an I don't even think my dad knew to the true extent of what they had saved/been worth

People with wealth don't have the need to show it off because they have absolutely nobody to impress, the ones I find that try to show off they have money (when it's the husband's really) are usually the fake dolled up, fake tits, trophy wives

I have an uncle who’s rich. He has a huge indoor swimming pool. Anyway, we used to get knickers and socks from m&s for Christmas

Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

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