Could you marry someone poor/minimum wage?

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Vroomvroom

I’ve always earned more than my husband. We’ve been together 17 years and it’s never been a problem. He works in local government services and the pay has been poor with few increases, luckily he’s had various promotions in more recent years. If he did the same job in a private company he’d earn way more but he loves his job.

But anyway it was more important to me to have someone I share interests with. Someone I love and loves me. I’m not interested in materialistic bullshit. We do have an Audi (one car between us) but it’s 14 years old! Life is much better when you are content and not always wanting to buy more and bigger! Enough money for a comfortable life is great, but the trinkets just not important.
 
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emm

calmyourritas said:
In my experience anyone who is adamant they don’t do MLM is actually 100% doing MLM just dressed up in a different way
Click to expand...
This was my immediate thought too! Don't know jf anyone else watches/watched peep show but "the first thing to say is they this is NOT pyramid selling"
 
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miss_americana

I actually didn’t ask if you drove an Audi. I suggested you did. You didn’t need to tell me you drive a Porsche and had a Range Rover.
Please use some of your extensive wealth to invest in some English lessons. Your use of grammar is appalling.
 
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Deeznutslol

After reading this, I’m just gonna come out and say it
https://giphy.com/dVe7uEy7SpQVG
 
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Baby Giraffe

Exactly, the life sounds so empty with no depth at all. No mention of anything that's not glitzy and brash, no mention of culture, no mention of doing daft stuff with her kid, nothing that isn't for show and appearance. Such a shame and hopefully just the way it's worded and there is more to her life.
 
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latranla

[
wearing prinark
yea I do like luxury items so what and don’t want to wear primark all the time so what !? Oh bore off with your self righteous crap and and while I only earn 50k it suits me well as it’s just part time and have a child and it’s a little start up recruitment business which I plan to grow ! Husband
Yes everything I said is made up we actually live in Slough and live in a 400k house and have a household income of 80k a year … hope that makes you feel better and I drive a 10k car maybe that will make you feel even more better… god forbid anyone who talks to you about wealth , luxury and wanting to grow / better themselves with a start up business and so what if I do t want to wear primark clothes all the time , why does it bother you so much !? I just like quality clothing never said it has to be designer clothes ! …
 
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Sunflower91

I’ve been called a snob a few times for this but I find ambition an attractive quality. I want to find someone on my wavelength where learning or progression is important. I also find it helps with the power dynamic. I’ve been on both sides of the coin- relationships where my partner had 0 ambition and it just fostered some kind of jealousy or a lack of understanding/ support of my goals. But then also where the earnings themselves were quite equal but there were other finance elements held over my head towards the end (he owned the house and it became pretty clear it was something he was willing to hold over me). To that end my own financial future is important to me, I don’t want to be reliant on someone and maintain my independence but at the same time I don’t want someone who is potentially going to be reliant on me or expecting me to compromise on what’s important to me. I think sometimes it comes across as harsh saying out loud that career/goals matter to me but I kind of see it as a lifestyle thing a bit like a hobby only you spend more time doing it. Some people aren’t attracted to people without hobbies, I’m not attracted to people where there’s ambition misalignment.
 
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Deeznutslol

So hang on, you’re on 50k, if your household income is 80k then that means your husband is on 30k? So how are you looking down your nose at people who are on minimum wage ?
Sounds like you need to tell your fella to work a bit harder if you want this sort of lifestyle!
 
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Sunlifeover50

@latranla really genuine question. Earlier this month you started a thread “Money = happiness or at least a contributor?”. Now you’ve started this one- I’m just wondering if there’s something driving all this as you seem to be high earners? Do you think that lower earners are always unhappy???
 
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emm

The issue is that ambition doesn't necessarily mean striving for more money it is also just striving to do your best in your job. I am jn a job that is pretty badly paid and has little scope for more but I like it and try and do my best every day. The idea that pay is indicative of how hard your work is/how important it is is ridiculous, as we all know the jobs that keep society working often tend to be vastly underpaid (ine isn't one of these it is just underpaid )
 
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RattyBumBum

I have traditionally always been with partners who had money. It was a requirement of mine. Long story short, all those relationships didn’t work and they treated me terribly.

Fast forward now, I’m about to marry the love of my life, he works a manual job, and earns less than me. He has no desire to change his job. There is no progress there eother

But He is hard working in what he does, loves his job and his work mates and is so so mentally happy and goes to work every day smiling.

I encourage him to be ambitious in his happiness not his career and I help and encourage him to follow his interests and enjoy his hobbies. He in turn is emotional and physically so supportive of me and my mental needs my and everything else.

We have a beautiful house, which is majority paid for by me, but he makes it a home with the love and happiness he’s given to me and my kids.

So yes, I could and will marry someone with less money than me and I’m going to be so happy doing it.
But you do you! But be happy first and foremost
 
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Rippedjeanmaybe

I actually wonder if you’re a bit stupid? Your lack of grammar and correct spelling certain makes it seems that way?

in case you hadn’t noticed, I’m not the only one making these comments about you. I think the only person that sees things the way you do, is you.

I don’t have an issue with you not wanting to wear primark, myself and others have an issue with you looking down your nose at those that do.

How do you know I don’t have wealth myself? This is the problem with people like you, you think you’re high and mighty and that everyone else is beneath you.

I don’t have an issue with you talking about “wealth” or “luxury”, I don’t have an issue with anyone talking about those kind of things, (you’re just presuming I don’t have those too because you like to look down your nose at everyone) I have an issue with you making snobbish remarks about people that you believe are beneath yourself.

This is the problem, you lack intelligence so you can’t come up with a constructive argument and you go back on yourself and you misunderstand points being made.
 
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latranla

I didn’t even think it was ‘ showy ‘saying I used to drive a Range and now a Porsche as they are quite common anyway, like someone else said and I just happen to like 4x4 cars now and find it hard to go back to something like my first car my Toyota !
 
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Baby Giraffe

Yes, I know somebody who I consider very ambitious but channels that ambition into running a soup kitchen. I admire her so much as she is really making a difference. She also does a low paid job that pays the bills but her worth as a person shouldn't be judged by her income.
 
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latranla

When have I ever mentioned looking down on someone ? I just said I would struggle to marry / date someone who only ever wanted to say earn 25-30k a year until they are 40/50 years old due to the lifestyle I desire and that I would like want them to desire too!
 
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Baby Giraffe

How can you not know that both a Range Rover and Porsche are higher end vehicles? Of course you do and if you drive up the motorway they are certainly in the relative minority of the vehicles being driven. Personally I'd not want either of them, I don't feel any need for a 4x4 as I don't live in an area where I need that (but that doesn't stop the idiots that park them up the kerb on the school drop off near me either) and think they're over priced for what they are. You've no idea if I could afford them or not but just because you find them desirable doesn't mean that other people do. Quite a few of us associate the things you desire with chavvy social climbers who think they're something special.
 
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Rippedjeanmaybe

HAHAHA are you being serious?

hun, you didn’t need to say you look down on anyone, we KNOW you look down on people because of the comments you have made.

are you really that stupid that you can’t see how offensive, crass, snobby and frankly embarrassing some of your comments have been?
 
Reactions: 11
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