Coping with losing a pet

[1001 others]

We've had a really bad run lately with animals passing. We have several animals (we have a small farm) but it never, ever gets any easier.

My main worry is what happens when they pass - who will meet them on the other side?

Often I will think of them, and then a random feather will appear, or I'll find a piece of their fluff in the middle of the carpet that was perfectly vacuumed earlier that day ... knowing they're here in spirit doesn't make it any easier.

It would be ideal if they just passed in their sleep ... but that rarely happens. I think making the decision of when to put them down is one of the hardest things in life ... you wonder if it's too early - surely if they're still eating and have life behind their eyes the timing's not right ... but then, you don't want them to suffer either.

We usually adopted older and/or harder-to-home animals ... but I said to my husband last night that the problem with that is, we have a limited amount of time with them ... the last few dogs we've had, we've only had 2 months to 2 years with; with cats, it's been a 6 months to 5 years. If we got puppies or kittens we'd buy more time. Although, that's not guaranteed - a dear friend had two gorgeous little Alsatian puppies ... at the age of 3, one died suddenly of a heart attack; and at the age of 5, the other one started to appear off colour and wouldn't eat ... a trip to the vet resulted in a cancer diagnosis, for which the recommendation was that he be put to sleep as it was too advanced.

 

[Laney35]

I had to have my Cat put to sleep 6 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer mid December and the vet said would keep her on steroid injections to stop her being sick. After that first one she was like a new cat. Appetite was back a lot more assertive. My greatest fear was loosing her at Christmas time but she saw it through. Her injection started to wear off so she got a top up. Unfortunately it didn’t work she stopped eating and drinking and I just knew it was time. She was 14 and I had her since I was a kitten. She was one of a kind and when ever I was sad she would come comfort me and now there’s no one. Her passing has had a reaction on me physically, my mood is so low, I don’t want to see anyone, my skin has flared up and I’m in agony. The house isn’t the same without her.

 

[Ethel's little Willy]

I had to have my Cat put to sleep 6 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer mid December and the vet said would keep her on steroid injections to stop her being sick. After that first one she was like a new cat. Appetite was back a lot more assertive. My greatest fear was loosing her at Christmas time but she saw it through. Her injection started to wear off so she got a top up. Unfortunately it didn’t work she stopped eating and drinking and I just knew it was time. She was 14 and I had her since I was a kitten. She was one of a kind and when ever I was sad she would come comfort me and now there’s no one. Her passing has had a reaction on me physically, my mood is so low, I don’t want to see anyone, my skin has flared up and I’m in agony. The house isn’t the same without her.

I am so sorry for your loss
You have lost a family member and are grieving. A lot of people don't understand that the loss of a pet that we've had for so long is losing a loved one. Take time for yourself to grieve. Allow yourself to go through the stages of grief, but it does sound like you may need to see a Dr if you are in pain sweets

 

[JD1]

I lost my lovely cat just before Christmas. He had just turned 7 the month before and we always thought we’d have at least another 10 years or so with him. He was like a baby/little brother to me and my absolute best friend, and I was with him practically 24/7 especially over lockdown. He got very ill suddenly having seizures, so we took him to the vets, and after quite a few examinations he was referred to a neurologist at a vet hospital. At the appointment the vet said he suspected a brain tumour and said he would need to have an MRI to find it, so of course we were beside ourselves. What we didn’t expect was that he wouldn’t ever wake up from the anaesthetic from the MRI, due to complications from his condition. He was on a ventilator overnight whilst they tried to get him to wake up, but the next day we had to let our little man go as his brain wasn’t responsive anymore. I feel so heartbroken knowing that he went through such an ordeal at the end and that we weren’t with him when he didn’t wake up, and that he was probably scared as we weren’t there. I feel guilt for agreeing to let him have the MRI as I knew there were some risks associated with anaesthetic, but I also know that if we hadn’t had him MRI’d he likely wouldn’t have been with us much longer as he was very poorly. We still don’t know exactly what caused it, and 3 months later I’m still in pieces. I miss him so much and cry every day, I feel like a huge part of me is missing. We knew he was likely very poorly but we never imagined in a million years that when we dropped him off at the vet hospital it would be the last time we would see him. I made sure I gave him a big cuddle and lots of kisses when I dropped him off and I take a lot of comfort in that, and I really hope he did too. I truly understand what you’re going through and I hope you’re all doing ok x

 

[Ethel's little Willy]

Here's a link from the PDSA with advice about coping with losing a pet. I hope this can help some of you

How to cope with the death of a pet

Advice on making the difficult decision to put your pet to sleep, breaking the news to children, and coping with the loss.

www.pdsa.org.uk

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I was always told a day too early is far better than a day too late it's true but doesn't make it any easier. Still miss my boy terribly and that's nearly 4 months now

 

[Melian]

And my parents have just put their dog to sleep

His little friend isn't coping well at all with being alone. We were hoping she would. But she's crying a lot and looking out the window, hoping he'd return.

 

[kelly87!?]

We had our beloved cat put to sleep this afternoon. He was 13 years old and had been with us since he was a kitten. It feels like only yesterday we were having our beautiful dog put to sleep even though it was in 2019. I hope they have both been reunited over rainbow Bridge and are looking after each other again. I can't stop crying.

 

[Shinythings]

We had our beloved cat put to sleep this afternoon. He was 13 years old and had been with us since he was a kitten. It feels like only yesterday we were having our beautiful dog put to sleep even though it was in 2019. I hope they have both been reunited over rainbow Bridge and are looking after each other again. I can't stop crying.

Oh darling, I'm so sorry. It's honestly just so awful. I'm nearly a month down the line and the pain is still raw and it's so hard to explain to others.

If you feel OK doing so I'd love to hear about him. A favourite memory maybe?

 

[vallend]

We had our beloved cat put to sleep this afternoon. He was 13 years old and had been with us since he was a kitten. It feels like only yesterday we were having our beautiful dog put to sleep even though it was in 2019. I hope they have both been reunited over rainbow Bridge and are looking after each other again. I can't stop crying.

I’m so sorry it’s so hard no matter what their age. You being so upset and caring so much means they were very loved and had a good life x

 

[What's your point]

I'm so sorry to all of you who have lost your loved pets, it really is the worst kind of heart break.

We had to have our beautiful spaniel put to sleep a few weeks ago and god it bloody hurts, never cried so much! I miss him more than I ever imagined and the empty house and loss of routine has hit us all hard.

I am questioning myself that we should have tried treatment but the Vet said the chances of anything working were so slim as he was so very poorly (it happened very suddenly) and we couldnt stand the thought of seeing him suffer and spending days in the vets prodded and poked for us to lose him anyway so we chose to let him go there and then. But it is haunting me a little to be honest.

Trying to tell myself he was so loved, and had a lovely life and that he went with kindness cuddled up to my daughter (his absolute favourite person, she was 5 when we got him, 16 now) but I suppose it is natural to question your choices.

I could never get another dog now, they give you so much love but the loss is like a physical pain that I dont think I could go through again.

 

[Lonewolf]

My bestest girl crossed over last June it would have been her 18 birthday today I'm really struggling but everytime I've gone out into the garden there's been a bunch of white feathers dotted all over but not a bird in sight il take that thank you very much

 

[Colin]

Honestly it's really hard. I haven't watched any videos of my boy since just after he was put to sleep in October and I was lonely at the weekend so watched a few and sobbed my heart out. I miss him so.

 

[Lonewolf]

Honestly it's really hard. I haven't watched any videos of my boy since just after he was put to sleep in October and I was lonely at the weekend so watched a few and sobbed my heart out. I miss him so.

I'm the same its too hard I think I've sobbed most nights without my girl,

My heart goes out to you all struggling they really do take a big piece of us with them

 

[Snowjoke]

I seen this poem & thought it would be lovely to post on here …

I stood by your bed last night, I came to have a peep.
I could see that you were crying...you found it hard to sleep.
I whined to you softly as you brushed away a tear.
"It's me, I haven't left you...I'm well, I'm fine, I'm here."
I was close to you at breakfast, I watched you pour the tea.
You were thinking of the many times, your hands reached down to me.
I was with you at the shops today, your arms were getting sore.
I longed to take your parcels, I wish I could do more.
I was with you at my grave today, you tend it with such care.
I want to reassure you that I am not lying there.
I walked with you toward the house, as you fumbled for your key,
I gently put my paw on you. I smiled and said, "It's me."
You looked so very tired, and sank into a chair.
I tried so hard to let you know that I was standing there.
It's possible for me to be so near you every day.
To say to you with certainty, "I never went away."
You sat there very quietly, then smiled, I think you knew...
In the stillness of that evening, I was very close to you.
The day is over...I smile and watch you yawning
And say, "Goodnight, God bless, I'll see you in the morning."
And when the time is right for you to cross the brief divide,
I'll rush across to greet you and we will stand, side-by-side.
I have so many things to show you, there is so much for you to see.
Be patient, live your journey out...then come home to be with me.

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

All of your posts are breaking my heart. Our little cat is 2 in a couple of months and I honestly dread the day she isn't here. I worry about it all the time even though there is nothing wrong with her and she is fit and healthy (that we know off).. I always panic about giving her too much treats etc as I never want her to get sick. Sending love to you all

 

[Colin]

All of your posts are breaking my heart. Our little cat is 2 in a couple of months and I honestly dread the day she isn't here. I worry about it all the time even though there is nothing wrong with her and she is fit and healthy (that we know off).. I always panic about giving her too much treats etc as I never want her to get sick. Sending love to you all

All you can do is live in the moment with her. Enjoy every cuddle.

 

[Maid22]

I must stop reading this thread, it really upsets me, it's been 6 months since I lost my wee boy, I've loved and missed all my animals, but this one has hit me the hardest, I still haven't looked at pics of him, and @Lonewolf, the White feather I so get, couple of days after losing him, I was sitting on my usual step having a cig, looked to my right, where he always sat next to me, and there was white feather, have had other things happened too, I take comfort in that I did my best for him, but blimey, I don't half miss him.
Sending to you all

 

[Tangent Tiger]

It's horrible to lose them. If you're in the UK the blue cross offer a counselling service.

 

[Lonewolf]

I must stop reading this thread, it really upsets me, it's been 6 months since I lost my wee boy, I've loved and missed all my animals, but this one has hit me the hardest, I still haven't looked at pics of him, and @Lonewolf, the White feather I so get, couple of days after losing him, I was sitting on my usual step having a cig, looked to my right, where he always sat next to me, and there was white feather, have had other things happened too, I take comfort in that I did my best for him, but blimey, I don't half miss him.
Sending to you all

It's hard isn't it, I'm exactly the same with the pictures & things, I've had to deactivate my Instagram, memories off my camera roll, the lot as I just can't face it atm! Not many people understand the heartache in loosing a beloved pet, it takes a special kind of soul,like the many on this thread but we will get there as we have done so before

It's horrible to lose them. If you're in the UK the blue cross offer a counselling service.

Can't stress this wonderful charity enough they didn't half help me in the first few weeks, I created a Facebook just to join the group, lots of kind people on there