Coping with losing a pet

[rebremm99]

My cat has just died and I am absolutely devastated he was only 7 and literally my best friend in the whole world. We had such a bond and he’s gotten me through some awful times, especially the last year. I always thought I’d have him for a long time and I just feel so sad and lost now that he’s gone how do you cope with losing a pet? I almost feel silly for being this upset but he was more than just a pet to me. If anyone has any advise or tips please let me know, I don’t know how I’m going to get through work tomorrow

 

[disneys]

My cat has just died and I am absolutely devastated he was only 7 and literally my best friend in the whole world. We had such a bond and he’s gotten me through some awful times, especially the last year. I always thought I’d have him for a long time and I just feel so sad and lost now that he’s gone how do you cope with losing a pet? I almost feel silly for being this upset but he was more than just a pet to me. If anyone has any advise or tips please let me know, I don’t know how I’m going to get through work tomorrow

I am so so sorry for your loss. I too lost a male cat very young only a few years ago (he was hit by a car) and I still well up when I think about him

Some of the things that helped me were

- we bought a frame and chose a really nice photo of him and had it framed so we can always remember him
- when we moved house , we planted a tree in the garden to honour him
- I cuddled my other cat a lot , I think he could sense I was feeling sad and he was also very confused and grieving his brother
- he was hit by a car and was killed instantly so we took a lot of comfort in the fact that he wouldn’t have known anything about it and died fairly painlessly and quickly
- time .. one of my favourite lyrics is from a Taylor swift song and it is “time can heal most anything” and it is so true .. the first day was awful , the first month was hard but after that it got better and things got easier
- don’t be afraid to cry and talk to people about it , I thought people would mock me for being so upset about losing my cat because “its only a cat” but most people have pets and are very compassionate and understand a pet is part of the family too .. I talked to my mum a lot about it as she’s a big animal lover and it was really helpful ..
- when you can , start to discuss happy memories of the cat ! My husband and I always laugh about our old cat and how he used to love to eat green beans , so every time we have green beans we talk about him and smile

if you need to talk , please do message me ! I know what it’s like to lose a cat suddenly

 

[Libbylulu]

I put our darling cat to sleep on Tuesday and I can’t stop crying. It comes over me in waves. My family is away and can’t return due to covid so I’ve been nursing him alone since his lymphoma diagnosis in August. I tried so hard to keep him alive, happy and healthy as he adored my husband and probably wondered where he went. Monday I just knew he was so poorly and suffering and his eyes were looking at me so sadly. Putting him in the basket to take him to the vet was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Mornings and evenings are the toughest as he needed so much care and medication. He was a funny, loving, adorable cat and we were so lucky to have him. We got him from a shelter at 3 months and he was almost 13. He loved us and has left a huge gaping hole.

 

[Crazycatlady18]

My cat died over Xmas and I am beyond heart broken. He was my best friend, my baby and my companion. He was always with me. He sat with me every day through lock down working from home, he sat on my lap every evening, he’s sleep on our bed and come back to bed for a cuddle after his breakfast. He was only 8 and he wasn’t Ill on unwell that I was aware of. He seems totally fine. We put him in a Cattery and that’s where he died which makes it a million times worse that he wasn’t home with me. His brother was next to him which breaks my heart even more. I feel like I’ve lost my baby and I cry every day. I can’t imagine life without him he was such a character. I know it will get easier but right now I’m so so sad. I know I still have my other cat and I love him but he is very independent and not a lap cat at all.

 

[lalalanded]

Definitely go through all of the emotions you have without feeling embarrassed or ashamed because it's 'just a pet'. When I understood my nearly 16 year old dog was coming to the end of his life I had my first and only experience of trying to speak and no sounds coming out. I was worried people would think I was crazy. After he was put to sleep I would randomly cry in public too and I quickly stopped being embarrassed - people were really nice and would offer a tissue etc and would be really nice when I told them I had to put my dog to sleep.

It took me a long time before I could have any photos of him up around the house and again, I initially felt guilty about that but it was too raw for about a year. Now I have photos and a lovely portrait of him up and the pain is gone, the photos make me smile and feel grateful for having him.

 

[kazizzle]

Hi all. My cat was put to sleep this morning. I am absolutely devastated and heart broken. I can't stop crying.

He was only 10/11 (we think as we rehomed him so actual age is unclear) and we had him for 9 years, first living with my OH in his flat and then moving in to our shared home. On Saturday he had a sore tail and I noticed he'd pulled all the fur from it and wouldn't stop biting/licking it. He seemed in a lot of distress Saturday night so I took him to the vet on Sunday. Vet said cut on his tail was clean and gave us a cone to stop him getting at it. I mentioned he was whining when he moved too and the vet said it was probably some signs of early arthritis and gave me an anti-inflammatory for his food. Cat adapted to the cone really well but I struggled to get him to eat or drink. Last night he became very floppy as if he couldn't move his legs. He couldn't support his own weight. Took him back to the vets, thinking it was dehydration, who said he most likely had a blood clot and would probably pass within the next hour and there was nothing he could do apart from ease the process along.

I think I was in total shock as I really didn't expect it. Twenty minutes later, and after a teary phone call to my OH who is working abroad just now, he was gone. I've cried all day. I put off coming home to the empty house for as long as I could. Just ten minutes ago I thought I heard his collar bell ringing and it set me off again.

I've never had a pet before and I don't have words to describe this grief which is like nothing else I've ever experienced. Reading up on the blood clot it's likely the sore joints he had on Sunday were an early sign, but we were so focused on the tail wound. Thinking about it though it would have been thousands of pounds worth of invasive treatments to try and treat it and even then it might not have worked, so I think we may have decided to go down this route anyway rather than put the poor boy through all that.

He has an instagram account so I'm glad I have that for some memories and also really like the idea someone mentioned of commissioning an artist to draw a picture. I might see if I can do that as a gift for my OH, who is many miles away and distraught that he was unable to be here for both me, and our boy who was his best friend and companion for many years. He won't be home for another 5 weeks.

 

[They See Me Trolling...]

My dog died just over two years ago due to being attacked by another dog and I am never ever going to be over it. I tend to go through waves of it, I’m having a tough time at the moment. Some times it’s ok and other times I feel so lost. Today in fact I keep having flash backs to the incident, which hasn’t happened in a long long time. It’s scarred me for life, not just what happened but the loss itself.

 

[Laney35]

I had to have my Cat put to sleep 6 weeks ago. She was diagnosed with stomach cancer mid December and the vet said would keep her on steroid injections to stop her being sick. After that first one she was like a new cat. Appetite was back a lot more assertive. My greatest fear was loosing her at Christmas time but she saw it through. Her injection started to wear off so she got a top up. Unfortunately it didn’t work she stopped eating and drinking and I just knew it was time. She was 14 and I had her since I was a kitten. She was one of a kind and when ever I was sad she would come comfort me and now there’s no one. Her passing has had a reaction on me physically, my mood is so low, I don’t want to see anyone, my skin has flared up and I’m in agony. The house isn’t the same without her.

 

[Shinythings]

Just bringing this thread back to life.

I've just lost my cat. He was my absolute best friend of nearly 12 years and I am absolutely inconsolable. I cannot stop crying and my eyes are swollen. The pain is absolutely unbearable. He was the sweetest, happiest, most loving boy. He had the most expressive face and sweet soul. I cannot imagine by life without him. I am devastated beyond words. I have never felt pain like this, it's worse than any human I've lost.

I just need people to know he existed and to know how much I love him.

How long does the initial gut wrenching, crushing pain last?

 

[kelly87!?]

We had our beloved cat put to sleep this afternoon. He was 13 years old and had been with us since he was a kitten. It feels like only yesterday we were having our beautiful dog put to sleep even though it was in 2019. I hope they have both been reunited over rainbow Bridge and are looking after each other again. I can't stop crying.

 

[quinzel]

I lost my oldest cat on Friday evening. He was 16 but in good health (or so I thought). I noticed that evening he had very rapid breathing and seemed to be congested when breathing. Partner took him to the vet where they did a scan and said he was in heart failure, with a possible tumour and fluid around the heart and lungs. There wasn't much they could do, we made the really difficult choice to have him put to sleep. We are just utterly devastated. I've been crying pretty much non-stop since Friday. The house feels so empty. My little boy and our two other cats know he is gone but they don't understand he's not coming back

I'm glad I was there in his last moments, and I would never have left him to go through it without me. However thinking of him, laying in between us, purring away, to then be gone seconds later, is just so hard to get over. I will never get over this loss. I feel so broken.

 

[Chickenandgravy]

I was always told a day too early is far better than a day too late it's true but doesn't make it any easier. Still miss my boy terribly and that's nearly 4 months now

 

[Westcoasthippydreamgirl]

Glad to have found this thread a week ago and now have the courage to post.

We lost our 16yr old cat 2 weeks ago, she had been deteriorating for a while but when she went it was really sudden and traumatic. My heart is broken into a million pieces and whilst day to day I am functioning (I have 2 children, so no choice) I just feel so sad and lonely. I miss her so much.

We buried her ashes in the garden yesterday which brought everything bubbling back up, the weather is terrible today and I just feel so miserable.

I know it will take time but I am so lost without her.

 

[StillLucilleBluth]

I sometimes think it's worse when you actually have to make that decision.

I’m in this position now with our cat (and read your post before this one too). She’s nearly 20 and has declined the last two weeks. She’s struggling to eat and has lost so much weight. The vet has said we could try sedation to scan / examine her more closely but she may not survive that and either way it would be stressful for her. She’s suddenly become very frail and for the first time looks her age. She won’t get properly better, as she’s likely too weak for treatment if they do find throat or mouth cancer (or something else) but like your boy she’s not literally at death’s door either. It’s hard to know when to say goodbye. It feels bizarre to arrange it ahead of time but I also don’t want her to suffer. Equally don’t want to rush.

 

[shifttea]

this has just popped up for me. I had to put my dog down a little over a year ago. she had a hemangiosarcoma. she went from being fine to going to sleep within the space of 3 days. it was absolutely the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I still miss her dearly, and I will miss her every single day for the rest of my life.
I have a pendant made from her ashes that I wear 24/7, and I also recently got her pawprint tattooed on my leg, along with my other dogs pawprint.
imo, people gloss over how it is to lose a pet because "they're just a pet", but I firmly believe that loss can be felt just as deeply, if not deeper, as when a human dies. my heart hurts for everyone who has lost a pet, is having to make the decision to have a pet put to sleep, or is just aware that their pet is getting on a bit. there's no pain like it.

 

[They See Me Trolling...]

Not sure if this has been recommended already but Blue Cross have a pet bereavement service available:

Pet bereavement and pet loss

If you are grieving for a pet, or facing loss, our free and confidential Pet Loss Support service is here for you by phone, email or webchat.

www.bluecross.org.uk

I lost my kitty of 18 years back in 2019, she had seen me through ALOT and it was devastating. I donated money to PDSA so she's got a plaque in their special pet memorial garden (https://www.pdsa.org.uk/donate/donate-in-memory/remembering-pets), and I had her privately cremated and some of her ashes into a necklace because she'd literally been through so many huge life changes with me. I ended up adopting a new kitty a few months later, I feel that he was sent my way to help me (and me for him as he'd been given up SO many times in his short little life). It does get easier I promise, but grief is normal - they're such a huge part of life. I also really struggled initially with my new cat as he just was not my last cat, but once I accepted his ways and dealt with his behaviour I wouldn't change him for the world

When I lost my dog suddenly due to being attacked and killed by another dog, I found it very difficult and I still do. My ex partner got me a ring made which included his ashes and has his birth stone in. I couldn’t bear to have the ashes themselves, as it was so raw so he has them. I don’t wear the ring often but it sits where I can see it daily.

 

[JD1]

I lost my lovely cat just before Christmas. He had just turned 7 the month before and we always thought we’d have at least another 10 years or so with him. He was like a baby/little brother to me and my absolute best friend, and I was with him practically 24/7 especially over lockdown. He got very ill suddenly having seizures, so we took him to the vets, and after quite a few examinations he was referred to a neurologist at a vet hospital. At the appointment the vet said he suspected a brain tumour and said he would need to have an MRI to find it, so of course we were beside ourselves. What we didn’t expect was that he wouldn’t ever wake up from the anaesthetic from the MRI, due to complications from his condition. He was on a ventilator overnight whilst they tried to get him to wake up, but the next day we had to let our little man go as his brain wasn’t responsive anymore. I feel so heartbroken knowing that he went through such an ordeal at the end and that we weren’t with him when he didn’t wake up, and that he was probably scared as we weren’t there. I feel guilt for agreeing to let him have the MRI as I knew there were some risks associated with anaesthetic, but I also know that if we hadn’t had him MRI’d he likely wouldn’t have been with us much longer as he was very poorly. We still don’t know exactly what caused it, and 3 months later I’m still in pieces. I miss him so much and cry every day, I feel like a huge part of me is missing. We knew he was likely very poorly but we never imagined in a million years that when we dropped him off at the vet hospital it would be the last time we would see him. I made sure I gave him a big cuddle and lots of kisses when I dropped him off and I take a lot of comfort in that, and I really hope he did too. I truly understand what you’re going through and I hope you’re all doing ok x

 

[What's your point]

I'm so sorry to all of you who have lost your loved pets, it really is the worst kind of heart break.

We had to have our beautiful spaniel put to sleep a few weeks ago and god it bloody hurts, never cried so much! I miss him more than I ever imagined and the empty house and loss of routine has hit us all hard.

I am questioning myself that we should have tried treatment but the Vet said the chances of anything working were so slim as he was so very poorly (it happened very suddenly) and we couldnt stand the thought of seeing him suffer and spending days in the vets prodded and poked for us to lose him anyway so we chose to let him go there and then. But it is haunting me a little to be honest.

Trying to tell myself he was so loved, and had a lovely life and that he went with kindness cuddled up to my daughter (his absolute favourite person, she was 5 when we got him, 16 now) but I suppose it is natural to question your choices.

I could never get another dog now, they give you so much love but the loss is like a physical pain that I dont think I could go through again.

 

[Fanny Muchmore]

I'm so sorry to everyone in this thread who has lost a beloved pet. I lost my dog, Prince, last year. He was 17 and we had him from a puppy.

One thing that helped was I commissioned an artist to draw a picture of him, which is now framed and sits in our living room, pride of place.

 

[Libbylulu]

I found great comfort from the Facebook page Ralph Site Pet Loss which was recommended on here. It makes you feel as though you are surrounded by people who know the heartbreak or are going through the same (when people in real life possibly didn’t). You can also post a picture of your pet and some information. I felt it was like a memorial.