Clemmie Telford #5 There once was an a-hole from Peckham who likes to buy houses and wreck’em

[Rosieee]

Exactly, remember when Clembo was supposed to rough sleep one night with the homeless to raise awareness for a charity, got gifted a fancy sleeping bag to do so and didn't do it in the end because it was raining ?

 

[hattie20]

I hate it when they say people are stifling discussion or shutting things down.

No, what’s happening is people are saying things that you don’t want to hear so you throw a strop and delete it all.

They just want echo chambers.

 

[hattie20]

I don’t understand that room. We have a sticky out alcove bit like that, but it’s because the wall was knocked through between the dining room and lounge. I’m wondering if there was originally a corridor between the room and the window or something but it’s starting to hurt my brain looking at it. Her decor is so dingy and stark as well. It looks like the waiting room in a charity drug advisory centre, like the furniture has all been donated from a house clearance.

I actually can’t wait to see what she does next.

She just needs a pile of dog eared Take a Break magazines from 2017 and some used polystyrene cups on the table, and Magic FM constantly playing at an annoying level and she’d have nailed that look.

 

[FrannyGallops]

She looks like an explosion in a custard factory. The whole panel, sartorially speaking, are what we call in the trade “a fucking state”.

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Was the dress code ‘toddlers and drama teachers’?

 

[BlairWaldorf86]

I honestly think there would be a really interesting thread in this. People could post about X influencer stating the proof of their rich background. So often influencers hide this and make out that they just got lucky. I think it would open a lot of people’s eyes and be good to have it in one place rather than buried in individual threads.

For instance: Clemmie Telford is so wealthy that she bought a house in Broadstairs before she’d sold her £1m house in Peckham.

Clemmie and Simon Hooper both went to private school.

Alex Stedman (the frugality) dad paid for her first property deposit and was a guarantor on her mortgage.

Etc etc. Could be a challenge to find an influencer without family money or an extremely well paid husband!

 

[nogoodusernamesleft]

The ODs have those awful sinks and FOD also looks 82, so clearly plumbing them in causes some kind of timeline vortex and accelerated ageing.

 

[Sogdhitalley]

Well well well this fuck head has a thread on here. I have friends in the area she's currently living, some of which are school mums at the same school her kid goes to.
Let's just say she's not well liked at all. The teachers think she's a snobby stuck up cow, the school mums might talk to her but they don't talk to her in the group chat because she wasn't invited into it.
Apparently she walks around with an air of superiority. She's known to browse thrift shops and smaller independent businesses in Broadstairs casually dropping in her follow count in hope for free stuff.
She likes to show businesses pictures on her Instagram for "inspiration" so they see her follow count. She's a grade A twat.

 

[Exhaustednurse]

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Thread title:

Clemmie Telford #6 - a deep understanding of the power of photography and imagery within a digital context

 

[FrannyGallops]

I hate it when they say people are stifling discussion or shutting things down.

No, what’s happening is people are saying things that you don’t want to hear so you throw a strop and delete it all.

They just want echo chambers.

Exactly. The only one shutting down discussion is her because she didn’t actually want a discussion, she just wanted sympathy for her diamond shoes being a bit tight.

Also, calling it ‘a build’ Calm down, Kevin McCloud.

 

[gummy-bear]

Fuck me. Does she think she deserves a medal for being t total?
thousands if not millions don’t drink. It’s fine, it’s a lifestyle choice, no one resents you for it… it’s not a personality trait.
my main bug bear with t totals (same as vegans) is the bleating on about it when it’s outside of normal conversation topics. I honestly couldn’t care less about how great she feels, how much money she’s saving, how smug she is etc. same as I couldn’t give less of a fuck about other peoples hangovers / how much they go out and spend drinking with their friends. It’s such shit content, at this point I think she’s just desperate to find a niche as clearly the kids aren’t bringing in the money, the house is a shambles, there’s no chance in hell she could be a fashion influencer and her age is against her. Why doesn’t she go get a proper job?

 

[Lalalalaaaaaa85]

The random bin under the sink doesn’t even go colour wise.

No mat outside the shower so you can slip and crack your head open and then join the rest of the ghosts in the haunted mansion

 

[Wolf359]

So classic that they’d get the most expensive kitchen money can buy and then fuck up the installation and have to pay twice. And then to just shrug it off on the gram like it’s a minor inconvenience. She cannot read the room at all. It’s like the time they went on two weeks’ holiday in Thailand to get over the stress of nearly being made bankrupt.

 

[despair]

Does she even realise how spoilt and petulant she sounds ? Like we don't all have things that we don't like in our house? Do we change it right away because we don't like it? Something as vitals as tiles colors ? She's so disconnected I just can't anymore
Also admitting she never test anything when she's in the middle of a major reno

The problem is, everything in this house looks like it belongs elsewhere. This bathroom looks like a swimming pool changing room. They seem to have no idea how to make it a home. Not saying I would. But I’m not an influencer.

 

[Rosieee]

POV : you've been kidnapped, they take you to the pain room before the murder.

 

[Maria1]

I know it's unfair but look at it this way; All her media wankery will be in contained in one place with other media wankers shouting buzzwords at each other and working on trite campaigns thereby keeping them off Instagram whining about their alcohol problems and wearing toddler clothes.

 

[Clare]

And it’s why people like Clemmie will always be so far from relatable. They do horrendously fuck up businesses, run out of cash and then mummy, daddy and the inlaws step in to sort it all out. And of course Aunt Ada has a bolt hole in Thailand, daaaarling, to recover from the stress, while 99% of other families who declare bankruptcy can only dream of a wet week at pontins in 5 years time.

It’s how the instamums origionally duped followers into buying stuff. They tried to pretend were normal so claire who worked part time at the council offices would spunk hundreds up the wall on the baby products they were advertising. “If you buy this, you will just be a more put together and polished version of yourself, like we are!” Such a load of bullshit.

Yes, yes, yes to all of it. I remember pricing up a Tiba & Marl bag when I had my second child along with a Selfish Mother MAMA sweatshirt as I believed through their incessant, deceptive selling that these things were intrinsic to me being the best mum. OG Clemmie is a midwife - it beggars belief that she preyed on her own kind. Thankfully I saw the light before I pressed the buy button on any of those Instahun products. They don’t have consciences.

 

[Clare]

Things to ask BudgetClem:

How does she speak with so many plums in her mouth?
How does she get through life with such a burden of privilege weighing her down?
Does she still speak to Big Dog Clemmie?
How are the painted tiles going down?
Where did she gain the skills to be so proficient in devaluing properties?

 

[Rosieee]

My brother and I grew up in a poor family and we both made it to middle-class. He earns a 6 figures salary and I'm not far behind. None of us bought our first house before our 30's and none of us are even close to be owning a million worth of property. Yet we worked our asses off our whole life. I'm not complaining at all here but I just wish she understood that when you have no family money and have to work hard for everything you own, its just fucking harder. Yet I know how privileged I am that i was born in a country that gave us a chance and also parents who gave us a great childhood even if we had nothing. I just have no time for moany, lazy, entitled, rich kids

 

[really_whythough]

And what were they ever insta famous for? Being thick, middle class, posh women from London, popping out kids.
Post-pandemic and in the middle of the COL crisis, the whole thing seems utterly mad that it was ever given any credibility. It seems like something you'd do as a parody now.

Difficult question but how many children perhaps wouldn’t have been added to these Insta-broods (and those of the sheep followers) if it wasn’t for the mummy-blogger industrial complex juggernaut? I’m guessing quite few.

 

[maytoseptember]

I'm so baffled by how she became an influencer, not stylish, not funny, not relatable, skanky house.

How did it happen???

She rode the Instamum wave at exactly the right moment, back when all you needed to be seen as “aspirational” was be posh, white, wealthy, private schooled and called Clementine.