Omg just had a flashback to a bygone era and had to go find it. Melv 'buzzing' over his chippy tea! Full credit to @Noseybonk for the snail comment....
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Hope he will have chilled Love Hearts for dessert 
I hope their meal involves the bespoke gin glasses Marion mentioned he was going to buy.
I wonder if he will splash the cash and buy an Asda premium brand ready meal? I think he would consider unwrapping the plastic as cooking from scratch.
What ever it is I’m betting it will be Marions choice of food, not Dereks fav meal.
I wonder if he will splash the cash and buy an Asda premium brand ready meal? I think he would consider unwrapping the plastic as cooking from scratch.
What ever it is I’m betting it will be Marions choice of food, not Dereks fav meal.
Awww. The poor bastard. He’s not going to go on about it, as he’s ‘fed up of hearing about it’. It’s a shame. This pandemic getting on his nerves. Wonder if he thinks everyone is ok with it. It’s unavoidable news and has got a huge knock on effect to everyone. Not one person will be left unaffected, somehow. But he’s sticking his stupid bleeping head in his plush cushions and sticking a reed diffuser up his arse.
He hasn’t sorted Dereks birthday out - surely it’s on the same day every year? Couldn’t sorted it long before the pandemic even kicked in! Dick.
He hasn’t sorted Dereks birthday out - surely it’s on the same day every year? Couldn’t sorted it long before the pandemic even kicked in! Dick.
Hope he does something nice for Dezzas birthday and he doesn't just spend it the same way he usually spends his evenings, baked as a cake smiling away to himself completely oblivious to St Melvin of small businesses, queen of kareoke on the couch next to him 
or even worse be trying to nap while he does his skin cuure rootine 
So thankful to Martin for declaring that he's fed up hearing about the virus, surely it will all end now since our Lord and saviour has spoken.
Ta ma loveleh xoxox
or even worse be trying to nap while he does his skin cuure rootine So thankful to Martin for declaring that he's fed up hearing about the virus, surely it will all end now since our Lord and saviour has spoken.
Ta ma loveleh xoxox
Microwaved from scratch
Guys I love creme eggs as much as the next fat person; but I SWEAR TAE GAWWWD if someone bought me all that I'd be RAAAYYYYYYGIN.
Moanio: The only person I know to combine Birthdays and Easter together.
Also my menu has two options...
Opt1.
Starter: Creme Egg
Main: Creme Egg
Dessert: Find the creme egg (hint = he shined his ring the other week)
Opt2.
Starter: Greyyyyge (but its pink)
Main: Greeyyyyyge (but its pink)
Desser: Rat.
MWAH MWAH MWAH xOxOxOx
Moanio: The only person I know to combine Birthdays and Easter together.
Also my menu has two options...
Opt1.
Starter: Creme Egg
Main: Creme Egg
Dessert: Find the creme egg (hint = he shined his ring the other week)
Opt2.
Starter: Greyyyyge (but its pink)
Main: Greeyyyyyge (but its pink)
Desser: Rat.
MWAH MWAH MWAH xOxOxOx
All those creme eggs smacks of a last minute present dash to the garage.
What a tool
What a tool
I actually feel bad for Derek.
That's a few days supply of Derek's stash for when the munchies inevitably hit.
Poor Derek will be told that Melvin is enough present for him! I hope he put his crappy Tom Ford wax melt bow round his tiny acorn nob for Dezz...
Should we crowdfund a nice birthday present for Derek? 
Death by chocolate. He really must hate Dezza.
If my partner stuck a phone in my face and filmed me when I was asleep, I'd bloody kill him 
Exactly what I thought. Poor bloke.If my partner stuck a phone in my face and filmed me when I was asleep, I'd bloody kill him
Films him whilst he sleeps and manages to get four digs in at him on his grid post before wishing him happy birthday. He really is a nasty person. The present he bought, is that really it? He gets ‘hunners’ of pounds worth of Jo Malone and Derek gets Creme Eggs?? I would actually forgive him slightly if it wasn’t egg season and he had tracked them down in November, but zero effort has been put in here. Derek deserves better.
I feel sorry for Dezza. What a greedy, selfish bleep Marion is. He’s spent all of a fiver. I would be gutted, no wonder the bastard left the house before he woke up to he’s birthday prezzies 
Gosh, hasn’t our wee saviour heard of personal space/privacy before?
so selfish. Creme eggs?! They don’t even taste as good as they used to! Those duvets are hideous. Poor Derek having to put up with Maria and his circus show
He just looks like such a smug wee prick. Let Derek sleep in peace for Christ sake! And his pathetic attempt at a thoughtful gift for Derek... Just goes to show that unless it's gifted he won't put his hand in his pocket and fork out for anything decent.
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