Cleaning with Mario #79 Story time with Martin. Once upon a 876 dots of doom…

[Blanche Hunt]

Thread suggestion - cleaning with Mario #80 - Snakes oan this app, Marion hisses. His new scent is Be Inspired’s Thousand Wishes

credit tae oor @MaidMarion spine bright hen

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Tae be fair hen that is one eh the best scents oot there and one eh ma favourites, itll be swiftly papped in the bin if it becomes his signature xmas scenr but It's absolutely not a Christmas scent in any way shape or form and has been done by a million chandlers and wax makers, even me, for about 3 year as per maz is behind 3 year

Wit does it smell like hen? Did ye smell coffee beans before you smelt it or are you no as experienced as Marion Yankee McKnight?

 

[GiftedNotFree]

“Had to support Sophie” has sent me she’s sitting in her lavish country house with a bathroom bigger than his entire bedsit and this twat doesn’t realise she does not need his “support” by buying P&G products with her name on them? Self obsessed little mole.

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Huz Martin kidnapped you and you are trying to gie us clues so polis kin find ye?

Shut up Madge, I'm a hornbag.

 

[Lim1947]

If my 40yr old brother bought himself a Xmas box with I believe written on it, I'd first check if he's on some sex offenders list and then get him sectioned. Nae debates

 

[ScottishMammy92]

How is Betty doing?

She is comfortable and probably sick of hearing us all chat away to her all day. Putting a brave face on, but it's only a matter of time really. Catching up on this thread when I have 5 minutes and it's giving me a good laugh. Thank you for asking it's been pretty tough. Even when you're prepared it's still a shock x

 

[MaidMarion]

"AM THAT BITCH TODAY" is that right Mazda hen, and whit bitch would that be hen? the fake balenciaga and primark bodywarmer combo bitch

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Eating fine food… in… BELLA ITALIA!!! Who’s menu prices are the same everywhere in the UK.

Today a surprised my Maw with champagne afternoon tea at The Savoy for part of her birthday. Ahm nae a snob but she’s never been tae London and felt like she needed tae be treatit. We both had complete imposter syndrome for the full time.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

I'm aw cosy laying in bed the day hens, pretending to be asleep, so I don't have to put the shopping away, that Mr Best just picked up. I'm giving off bespoke selfish Martin vibes, so aye. S A T U R D A Y can only mean a wee cheeky breakfast, or a castelvecchi ma lovelies, as youse aw know, I'm due a shart attack, from ma wee furry drawstring purse and so forth. W I N T U M.

 

[muscadet]

Bets on when that warped shelf will actually collapse I’m hoping middle of the night which will cause him to shart the bed and Rayn to get such a fright she claws the face off him and for Deek to get PTSD fae his two minutes in the armed forces and wreck the hoose I’ve thought way too much about this

 

[Madge2022]

Martin is gonni meet his maker when an avalanche of tat falls oot a cupboard. Wee Deek at work, Martin lying under the landfill screaming at Rayn his wean tae get his phone. Rayn gets her revenge by taking a dump oan him.

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

Fake ladies Balenciagas nae debates. He paraded the Timberland booties around like they were haute couture so there’s no way he would have let these sit unnoticed. And if they are real, he needs reporting for benefits fraud.

 

[Madge2022]

The fucking booties!
View attachment 1584600

They shoes look like horse's hoofs and nae debates.

 

[DilysMcGillis]

Oh, ma lovelies, I’ve been absent on here because I’ve been busy with my real job, which *is* my actual job - not like my job on “that app” which is just a wee pretendy job - HOWEVER, I can contain masel’ no longer! When I clapped eyes on that Foundation Standard Grade Woodwork monstrosity I was here quicker than Meirdre releases a dangerous shart after overindulging at Castlevicci! The moment was only improved by @Madge2022’s premonition - he’ll have been fucking RAGING that you foiled his big reveal! This thread is quite magical, ma lovelies! Slow Malone & Wankee Candle have been particular favourites thus far Also, every time I see a reference to wan ah thay “lethal drinks” I cannot stop myself remembering the time he told us he can’t drink vodka as he’d be “in the cells”. This particular remark was a number of years ago but, despite the passing of time, it will never not be funny Come on now, Meirdre, acquire yersel’ a display tree for your cocktail glasses, I beg of you! You’ve goat tae give the people whit they want! In addition, I am also very much strapping in for the “fragrance” journey - he needs to keep us in the dark about all the top secret perfumery work that goes on “behind the scenes” Aye, alright, Yves Saint Laurent I am DEID, I tell thee What an absolute walloper he is

 

[notanothergrammer]

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

The fucking booties!

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Who called bingo on this monstrosity?

 

[Madge2022]

Well ma loverlies wuz clutching ma beak at the wireless this morning when the reporter said the new king has a history of supporting small businesses. We huv oor ain King Martin who does that here in Scotland already, King Charles right oot his lane there and nae debates.

 

[menopausalmargrit]

VETERAN!!!! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!!

someone hold ma wine!! Hahahahahahahaha!!

 

[DeloresBawbag]

So there’s the main drinks station with mugs and stuff on it, then there’s this new substation, which has space for 2 more mugs, and three tiny ikea spice jars containing enough stuff to make two drinks.

Somewhere there’s a cupboard dedicated to storing the stuff needed to fill up the mini jars