Cleaning with Mario #63 Padded cell by Dan-Yell

[Blanche Hunt]

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If looks could kill…

*plays wae claws*
“Listen here ya beaky faced wee cunt, touch ma paws wance mair and Ah’ll huv ye grinning like the Joker. Dae wee understand each other? Noo BOLT hen tae yer chesterfield and lee me an Deek in peace. Chase yersel”

 

[Babybail93]

I’m still laughing at this today lmao just so so funny!!! @hopethishelpsallthebest utterly bespoke. Me since yesterday:

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That side profile nose Looks like Fagin! You gotta pick a pocket or two!

 

[lauhlauhlauh]

So he “designed” a bed with a company who does bespoke ordered to make beds and he’s frothing with excitement about it like he is the first person to ever do that?!

There’s also something weird about that mirror too - it looks like it’s one of those bendy ones you see at the funfair.

He’s also made himself the Patron Saint of Shell Chairs I see

 

[stuffandwords]

You see how she’s got that “Feddy” bed on the main page of her site with the couple photo shoot on said bed? PLEASE tell me they’re going to do that for Mario n Derek.
Also, please someone do the photoshop on this for me haha…

 

[MarionWaffle]

Sharting with Marion, 50 shites of beige



Dammit, ye beat me tae it ma loverlie

Thread title: Sharting with Mario - por favor. Courtesy of us all on here and a joint effort because We Move!

 

[Babybail93]

I’d be HERE fae the holiday jurnee.
Criss & joos fae the plane, new kids tracksuits fae the airport, matching his & his luggage full of wax melts. Cutted grapes and motivational yoghurt from the breakfast buffet every morning, a quick walk round the tat shops supporting the foreign small businesses, then back to the hotel awww cosy at 6pm fae an evening on the laptops and an early night.
Then months of ‘Take me back’ when they return to Paisley Towers

Could you imagine him creaming his knickers in the Hyperdino over the Spanish laundry stuff, Asevi “smelts beautiful but ah cannae youse it cause of ma exeeema and scabies. So aye, but we move!”

 

[menopausalmargrit]

So let me try and get this straight in my head -

He doesn’t do Easter because it’s for weans? I’ve got four days off my full time joab and I’m going away for the weekend with my pals. So unsure what part is only for weans.

He can’t understand why his skin is oily? He had to think about whether he had changed his diet - MASSIVE LOL!

He’s ordered a laptop - is he not a cleaner? What’s he doing? Fucking floor plans?

My heed is spinning after the dots of doom the night.

Off tae ma bed as up early for a weekend away with my pals at Easter, which is apparently only for weans.

Tonsalove,
M xxx

Sorry forgot one. The bairns that recognise him from his voice

He'd give my lot nightmares.

Yes Mario it is mental.

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How did I miss that one? File that under the million things that never happened!

 

[Babybail93]

He is so fucking cringe! It wouldn’t be so bad if he was a looker, I could overlook it. The cunt is rancid and has far too much confidence fae somwan wae a face like that!

 

[Whats the 411]

A velvet shell chair, pendants and an oversized headboard? Groundbreaking.

 

[I wud like sum tea]

I’m still clueless to what the actual fuck he’s prattling on about….I need a comma….the noo!!!!!!

 

[twilightgarden]

She’s some kind of cunt ain’t she? Fucking watching Netflix on the laptop when he has two proper TVs within 4ft of each other

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FFS even the ice cream is salted

 

[Babybail93]

Easter is fur kids. Says the creepy wee man who has a gold bell in a box which says “I believe” oan it and and Xmas Eve box at Christmas. So aye.

What he means when he says it’s for the kids is that he hasn’t got Derek an egg because he’s a selfish little cunt, but he’ll scream blue murder if Derek hasn’t got him an egg

 

[Poptart]

To be fair it is pissing down here and I'm not too far from Paisley.

Ah've goat ma heating oan and hivin' a pure cosy night in tae so ah um ma loverlies

Your heating is on? I'm smelling the wealth from here ma lovelie!

 

[menopausalmargrit]

Cannae wait fur the wedding plans tae got from plan A tae plan zero.

 

[OhhBacon]

Mental how he was actually somehow uglier back then than he is today, loving the 20 layers a fake tan but

I think he looks better with his neon tan and jazzy silver glitter face decor. Admittedly the bleached hair might be a step too far. But at least he looks like he is full of fun and energy.
He looks like he had a personality that consisted of more than buying wax melts, cushion covers and reflooring perfectly decent floor.

He now just looks like a greying old man, wrapped up in his house coat, moaning about the weather and just waiting his days out!

 

[iris8]

I’m 45 and since I can remember I’ve always had an egg and a jaunt to Edinburgh wearing a new outfit. It was a time we spent as a family.
This is a tradition I’ve carried on with my kids.

He has got a cheek slagging off Easter when he turned Autumn into a full on celebration.

 

[Babybail93]

He can’t even get a well known, very old saying correct!

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Screeeeeaaam


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How many boob/dick pics have you slags sent this poor fella.

 

[Blahblah93]

I still can't get over the fact he wears a hidden disabilities lanyard for IBS.

 

[Babybail93]

Hullo ma lovelies! Unsure if this has been brought up before. A was having a nosey at Deeks old Facebook and noticed this…
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Fs Deek, Mario really wisnae worth coming oot the closet fur.

To be fair, Mario is an 80 year old woman trapped in a fat teenage girls body. So it’s not a million miles away