Cleaning with Mario #38 All the lip balms in the land but his crusty lips are dry as sand

[adgifted]

Hello ma lovelies, just checking in on my tattle troll phone. It’s an absolute staypul to have two phones noo so ah can just switch aff and nae worry about comin oot ma laine so aye. Ats wit it is. Ave got two phones noo cos ah jist cannae keep up wae they messages aww the time. I’m naw here tae live ma life fur tattle. Absolutely not. Ah make ma rules and that’s wit ah dae. So aye. Im gonna switch aff and put ma other phone in ma bespoke side table fae danyell and just rise up. Ah will rise up. Rest assured ah am. Am 100% tae masel and ah will rise up. So aye. Here ah am. Tons a love

If I were him I wouldn’t be advertising I have two iPhones on me in his area. He’ll be mugged for crack money quicker than you can flush the loo in his overcrowded bathroom!

They’ll need to get in passed the ring doorbell first mind. Nothing but class in Casa Bespoke Staypul ma lovelie.

 

[Booboo76]

Omg Tommy two phones, sort your life out maz why do you need two phones, you can’t keep up with insta on one coz we all know you can’t stay off it even when you’re supposedly taking a comma, my god he’s laughable and the fact he made a post just to tell us, get in the bin, head, your not that important to have two

 

[Steffols]

So...is he paying for two phones or is he only going to post on insta when he's indoors and on WiFi?

 

[SuzyE]

Maz, you couldn't even make it being a "Z" lister, so stop trying to look important with two phones.

Silly arse what you are

 

[Cady1954]

The Ballard of Maz and Deek

I have a tale, a tale to tell
About match made in heaven (or could it be Hell)
A match between Mazza and Deek bless his heart
Nothing could sully or tear them apart.
Now Deek had a little boujie abode
Set in a cul -de -sac off a main road
When Mazza first seen it he squealed out in glee
'My very own dolls hoose for lil old me'
I'll paint it all grey and fill it with tat
Ill falbon the worktops and Febreze the cat
Now poor old Deek did not have say
He's a sensible lad who just stayed out the way
As long as he got his regular weed
He was happy as Larry stoned off his heed
Now Mazza was greedy and a true narcissist
He thought I need freebies I'll write me a list
So when his friend Hinch became a sensation
He thought 'I want to have that much adoration'
So 'Mario' was born and his Huns they did follow
His antics and duck ups and lies they did swallow
His atrocious lack of spelling and grammar
Was totally eclipsed by his beauty and glamour
Maz says his Dyson that blows out hot air
Is the best thing to happen to his one single hair
He loves a wax melt of five, six or seven
All burning at once they stink to high Heaven
But as much as us Tattlers think he's a pain
No one could hate him as much as poor Rayn
She looks at him with a look of despise
And clearly would love to claw out his eyes
We all think that Rayn wishes him dead
But until that time comes she'll just piss on his bed.
Wee Deek we all love and have so much affection
We can't wait for his new life in witness protection

 

[margot44]

Daftie must think he’s in Line of Duty with his burner phone
Stick tae polishing truncheons Maz

 

[Andioooop]

The Ballard of Maz and Deek

I have a tale, a tale to tell
About match made in heaven (or could it be Hell)
A match between Mazza and Deek bless his heart
Nothing could sully or tear them apart.
Now Deek had a little boujie abode
Set in a cul -de -sac off a main road
When Mazza first seen it he squealed out in glee
'My very own dolls hoose for lil old me'
I'll paint it all grey and fill it with tat
Ill falbon the worktops and Febreze the cat
Now poor old Deek did not have say
He's a sensible lad who just stayed out the way
As long as he got his regular weed
He was happy as Larry stoned off his heed
Now Mazza was greedy and a true narcissist
He thought I need freebies I'll write me a list
So when his friend Hinch became a sensation
He thought 'I want to have that much adoration'
So 'Mario' was born and his Huns they did follow
His antics and duck ups and lies they did swallow
His atrocious lack of spelling and grammar
Was totally eclipsed by his beauty and glamour
Maz says his Dyson that blows out hot air
Is the best thing to happen to his one single hair
He loves a wax melt of five, six or seven
All burning at once they stink to high Heaven
But as much as us Tattlers think he's a pain
No one could hate him as much as poor Rayn
She looks at him with a look of despise
And clearly would love to claw out his eyes
We all think that Rayn wishes him dead
But until that time comes she'll just piss on his bed.
Wee Deek we all love and have so much affection
We can't wait for his new life in witness protection

Oh ma lovelie am FUHLY clutching ma beak!!!!!!

 

[laynelo_]

Ill falbon the worktops and Febreze the cat

I need this tattooed

 

[Very Cherry]

The Ballard of Maz and Deek

I have a tale, a tale to tell
About match made in heaven (or could it be Hell)
A match between Mazza and Deek bless his heart
Nothing could sully or tear them apart.
Now Deek had a little boujie abode
Set in a cul -de -sac off a main road
When Mazza first seen it he squealed out in glee
'My very own dolls hoose for lil old me'
I'll paint it all grey and fill it with tat
Ill falbon the worktops and Febreze the cat
Now poor old Deek did not have say
He's a sensible lad who just stayed out the way
As long as he got his regular weed
He was happy as Larry stoned off his heed
Now Mazza was greedy and a true narcissist
He thought I need freebies I'll write me a list
So when his friend Hinch became a sensation
He thought 'I want to have that much adoration'
So 'Mario' was born and his Huns they did follow
His antics and duck ups and lies they did swallow
His atrocious lack of spelling and grammar
Was totally eclipsed by his beauty and glamour
Maz says his Dyson that blows out hot air
Is the best thing to happen to his one single hair
He loves a wax melt of five, six or seven
All burning at once they stink to high Heaven
But as much as us Tattlers think he's a pain
No one could hate him as much as poor Rayn
She looks at him with a look of despise
And clearly would love to claw out his eyes
We all think that Rayn wishes him dead
But until that time comes she'll just piss on his bed.
Wee Deek we all love and have so much affection
We can't wait for his new life in witness protection

Well done ma lovelie, this is brilliant.

 

[Lady Bug]

If he can afford 2 phones can he not afford a tub of vaseline for those bloody lips?

 

[twilightgarden]

If he can afford 2 phones can he not afford a tub of vaseline for those bloody lips?

I bet the Vaseline is used elsewhere ma lovelie

 

[Dawn Dayn]

Sigh, where to start.
He could've just had insta on his tablet, look at it in the evenings, or when he's done his two hour shift.
He could sign out on his phone, log in when he's free.
But no, he now has more phones than brain cells.
FYI Mario, burner phones are for dodgy arrangements, trolls have to have them (yes me, what) so do drug dealers etc.. A part time cleaner with a dying insta account and debt up to his eyeballs does not need two phones. Work phones are for just that, work.

 

[margot44]

Well done ma lovelie, this is brilliant.

I agree, it’s amazing, well done @Cady1954

 

[menopausalmargrit]

I genuinely don’t even know where to begin. All I will say is that I’m glad I saw it towards the end of my working day and that I’m off to a beer garden for a gin (or 10).

I’m starting to doubt whether i’m going about life all wrong!!!

 

[BoujeeBabe]

Thread suggestion.....

Cleaning with Mario #39 Smelling the wealth with Phones 4 Mario.

 

[Anti-influencer]

I genuinely don’t even know where to begin. All I will say is that I’m glad I saw it towards the end of my working day and that I’m off to a beer garden for a gin (or 10).

I’m starting to doubt whether i’m going about life all wrong!!!

You are living life as it should be ma lovelie!!

 

[Doodlebug71]

I bet the Vaseline is used elsewhere ma lovelie

Aye up IBS alley ma luvlee

 

[Kaydeelaydee]

Make room for the possibility that he now has 2 phones because he doesn't understand metaphor. Like when the instahuns say they're putting the phone in the drawer for a day or 2, I can quite believe he thinks this is a physical act.

Cleaning with Mario #39: Keeping up with the Jones' doesn't require two phone's, Stoopid

 

[fuzzyhoosecoatluvaaa]

Now now ma luvlies it’s aw coming oot in the washing noo eh, the way he signs off his posts with the elusive mystical “M”, he’s clearly paisleys version of “H” .. am callling it, Mario’s OCG’d oot his nut, he’s top dog and poor wee Deeks being groomed and he disny even know it

 

[Curtaintwitcher45]

Cleaning with Mario #39 Another phone to feel successful? Chasing fame must be ever so stressful