?? I work and study with male midwives. He wouldn't make a good one thoughA Male midwifewhat a thick duck
Also why is he saying Derek put him to bed last night. He was already in bed?
Should've put him in the bin
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Also why is he saying Derek put him to bed last night. He was already in bed?
Should've put him in the bin
Someone needs to gift him some bleeping COMMAS!I thought it was just me. But he really doesnβt make any sense.
Maybe he has cleaning fumes fogging his brain.
I've messaged him and pre booked you some tickets, you're welcome!
Jess you are the bestest friend eva! I'm going to get you a signed naked picture of big Melv. Hopefully it will be poster sized so you can put it up on your bedroom ceiling
Bet Debenhams are loving him taking time out for selfies 
Where would this imaginary meet and greet take place? His flat? His sisters care home? Or the WMC where he had his kerayzee night out?
Where would this imaginary meet and greet take place? His flat? His sisters care home? Or the WMC where he had his kerayzee night out?
The fact he didnt just say midwife.. we al know hes male?? I work and study with male midwives. He wouldn't make a good one though
Also why is he saying Derek put him to bed last night. He was already in bed?
Should've put him in the bin
I bet miss @Kikini Bamalam would go, smash a box of eggs on his head.Just seen he's asking if people want him to do a meet and greet
And give him a kick in the knackers
So thats Exactly what I would do if I met him ....GREET ...and not tears of joy !!!!!!!!
βI donβt bite backβ βit doesnae affect meβ so why are you bleeping raging on your stories then you absolute wet wipe?
Now weβll have to endure all the screen shots of the sheep messaging him with sympathy. For someone that was only bothered by the homophobic remark, he sure as hell went on enough about everything else they said. Why didnβt he show the message... and more to the point, why didnβt he show the results of his questions and show exactly how many of his followers actually answered.βI donβt bite backβ βit doesnae affect meβ so why are you bleeping raging on your stories then you absolute wet wipe?
Doesnβt affect me but I am going to rant for 20 mins.... the council house comment really struck a nerve...... itβs easy to get a mortgage why sorry Martin hun but now a days it isnβt that easy to get a mortgage!!!βI donβt bite backβ βit doesnae affect meβ so why are you bleeping raging on your stories then you absolute wet wipe?
Trying to imagine what this meet and greet extravaganza might look like and, as its likely Mario keeps tabs on here, perhaps we can give him some inspiration for the big event's agenda.
1. Welcome, drinks reception - strictly 1 mug of biscuit tea per guest
Mingle with your fellow Mafioso (suggested talking points may include, favourite colour sph2onge cloth, how many wax melts is too many, favourite Mario journey story)
2. Explore the Mario art wall. See for youself the pictorial journey of this icon maturing from bottle-blonde disco-diva to malcontent brunette whinger.
3. TED talk by Mario. "Choices that will make you shine bright like a cubic zirconia". Mario will discuss the merits of Fabulosa v Zoflora, Daisy Blue v Ava May and Onesies v Twosies. Be blown away by his technique for committing his very own postal address to his very own memory.
4. Live demo. Style up a footstool - how to achieve that bougie look using only items gifted from small insta businesses.
Any other ideas folks?
Disclaimer: I am very VERY bored this evening
1. Welcome, drinks reception - strictly 1 mug of biscuit tea per guest
Mingle with your fellow Mafioso (suggested talking points may include, favourite colour sph2onge cloth, how many wax melts is too many, favourite Mario journey story)
2. Explore the Mario art wall. See for youself the pictorial journey of this icon maturing from bottle-blonde disco-diva to malcontent brunette whinger.
3. TED talk by Mario. "Choices that will make you shine bright like a cubic zirconia". Mario will discuss the merits of Fabulosa v Zoflora, Daisy Blue v Ava May and Onesies v Twosies. Be blown away by his technique for committing his very own postal address to his very own memory.
4. Live demo. Style up a footstool - how to achieve that bougie look using only items gifted from small insta businesses.
Any other ideas folks?
Disclaimer: I am very VERY bored this evening
He canβt get a f**king new carpet. How the f**k would he get a mortgage. Heβs laughable
Menopausal makeovers and country dancing lessons!
Needs to be a lip-synch battle at some point, but only if we don't know the words.
Maybe a fashun show involving shoes from 'everything a fiver' shop
I want Melvin to go full Gok Wan and start feeling up my jugs, telling me to get a better bra and forcing me into a leopard skin mini skirt and boob tube
Now he has just said he couldnβt afford to fix his teeth but apparently can afford a βboughtβ house with a click of his fingers!! He talks in riddles and contradicts himself constantly...... he is dying for a big βfancyβ house thatβs why he constantly shows his sisters house off....
Just caught the rant. His insta queen Mrs Hinch had a troll bite earlier and I can't help but feel this is Melvin having a manufactured #metoo moment to get a message from her.
On the off chance the message was real, here's my take. Gay or straight, council or private, a wee bawbag's a wee bawbag for a that (apologies to Rabbie Burns for the bastardisation of his works)
On the off chance the message was real, here's my take. Gay or straight, council or private, a wee bawbag's a wee bawbag for a that (apologies to Rabbie Burns for the bastardisation of his works)
Why does he think someone is giving him hate cos he's successful? That has confused me. It's cos he's a knob.
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