I wasn’t sure as Instagram does sometimes play up but I couldn’t find him on her following list ... sorry shite teaShe is following him guys. But does feel like they have drifted apart x
as long as you let me choose the wax melt each day (to pelt his mafia with obvs) then let’s Stan our way to Glasgow@cleaningupthecrap I love you! Would you like to join me in my caravan of love (a tiny campervan) & stalk the Melvin?
*blows cold sore kisses*Another day, another 'what was the actual point of that' from Saint Saviour of Small Businesses Melvin.
He talks about the haters, which he swears he isn't bothered by, having boring lives and not making anything of themselves. The irony blows through those wisps of hair on his shiny bonce and he remains ignorant of how little he does. It's bloody groundhog day with Melvin.
1. Tells everyone it's freezing, but happy *insert day*
2. Wraps himself in that mangy dressing gown and drops begging hints / shows off results of begging hints.
3. Has a shower and does his skincare.
4. Has a moan about nothing / tells us a made-up story designed to make him out to be uhmayzing
5. Tells us he's going to chillax.
6. Embarrasses Derek.
7. Does some terrible lip-synching that makes me want to hurl.
8.Reposts his followers blowing smoke up his arse.
9. Blows cold sore kisses to everyone.
10. Repeat, maybe add in a bit of fabreeze for variety.
Can't wait, I'll book an appointment to have 98% of my eyebrows ripped out, painted back on badly. Ooh, that orange fake tan, that too. https://giphy.com/PQbwtuzYRD3N2T6p9sWell Frankensooze, I can't be encouraging reckless spending this close to Christmas, but if you stick away 1 pound a week in a diamante encrusted jar, you'll have your ticket money and then some before 2019's out lol
I'm planning on asking Kikini to man the door that evening, and entry will only be granted if you can provide proof of menopause and meet the strict dress code requirements of animal print and sparkly shoes costing not more than a fiver. She'll be resolute about this, so fair warning.
There might also be room on the agenda for a debate, "to henna or microblade - that is the question". Panellists will include Bally and yon other wummin
First thing a new tenant would do is too rip off the plastic sheeting his kitchen is wrapped in. Then rip off that fucking awful wallpaper.If he moves out anyone who moves in after is walking into a fucking gold mine ey mario?
Omg he didn’t say he built it from the ground up...Don’t forget he built that fiat from the ground up!!
He is a sly Little rat.
His voice does my head in.
This!! Exactly what I was thinking!“We took this house on because we could see it’s potential”
Sorry what?! I wasn’t aware you could pick and choose what council house you wanted?!
If he’s in the position to get a mortgage then do it! Give the council that flat back and let them give it to someone who really needs it and can’t afford private rents!!!!
He did...Omg he didn’t say he built it from the ground up...
Please say he never
Brb crying
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