Cleaning With Mario #2

[Kikini Bamalam]

St Melvin's forehead is getting bigger and bigger, he's a Tefal man! (one for the older Tattlers)

I've just watched him for the first time for ages and fuck me, I'd forgotten how much he waffles on about shit. He is such a boring bastard, I just flipped through about 800 dots and he's still waffling on about bollocks. Fucking dickhead.

 

[Giselle]

When I was looking at the photos I was mentally removing all the tatt that I would bin. Never got the point of a tray with candle sitting on rug sitting on pouffe ... what’s the purpose of that? .... looks stupid and is just asking to be knocked over. Also intrigued as to how they flush the loo with the plant on the flusher. I could go on but I’m bored now

 

[Flozora]

And with this, the fanny is signing off, sadly only for a few days. He states that we will ‘glad to get peace of me and my crazy antics’
Crazy antics? Have I missed something? Other than work, he barely leaves the flat! He goes to the chippy, B&M, Home Bargains, The Range and Semichem. That ain’t crazy, you twat - that’s just shopping for tat!

Is this his romantic mini break, in Blackpool, he was mincing on about a while back? As it’s a special place for him and Derek the dork?

Hopefully he’ll get flattened by a horse and cart and that’ll be the last we hear of the cock waffle.

 

[Theworldhasgonemad]

Now he's saying he was invited to that event last week that hinch & avamay were at - absolute
there is NO way in this world he wouldn't have gone to that if he'd been invited, he was only a few hours away in Blackpool, it's not like he was in Australia! he talks some amount of nonsense that it's actually quite comical

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

I just die when he talks about his crazy life If eating beige fish and chips on a Monday, spraying your tiny flat with enough carcinogens to kill off a small country and filling the place with shiny tat that Liberace would be ashamed of is crazy, then I think I'll stick with my average, dull life thanks all the same, you moonfaced prick.
Honestly, his delusions are having delusions right now.

 

[Be More Pacific]

No phones tonight my lovelies.

20 minutes later.....

Insta live!

The thirst is real.

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

Has it got a blue plaque? Mario woz ere

Melvin was born there in a stable out back, because there was no room in the dressing rooms for his mother Mary, who had ridden there on the back of a donkey and her arse was fucking knacking.
The 3 weeping insta fans bought him a wax melt, a chair with a door knocker on and some chunky knit throws, when they followed the star to the son of god's birth.

 

[Frankensooze]

When he dies he can have a *goodbye ma lovelies* topper on his (tiny) coffin.

 

[Flozora]

I can’t believe he is STILL in Blackpool, even at the height of summer, 24hrs there is plenty for any human being. What IS he finding to do there? Is he just scouring the streets of the South Shore, in his polyester anorak and ‘sports suit’ gagging to be recognised by the toothless wonders that holiday there?

He is such a meff and so terribly transparent. I’m baffled by how many are drawn in by his falseness; mistaking him for being a genuinely nice guy. No, he’s not. He’s a narcissistic twat with the taste of a chavvy magpie and the intelligence of a piece of cheap white bread.

Utter cock waffle.

 

[Southsider]

He is of Italian descent.

The closest thing he is to Italian is that chippy he goes to every week

 

[Greedy beggy]

Just saw his wee written rant its honestly baffling the way all these instagram fannies are going on & jumping on the bandwagon of this documentary. I'm not saying some of them haven't been trolled at some stage but if they're only referring to tattle as them "being trolled" then it just confirms what we all suspect; that they have no grip on reality.

They want all the popularity & #gifted #ads but not the fact that not everybody on the planet is going to like you or agree with you- that's real life, not a bloody app on your phone!

Sorry for the rant, he's just an annoying wee fanny

Well said . I think he is talking about Tattle and trying to shut down people telling the truth about him . Where is he getting the money all of a sudden for new beds etc ? Could it be all the muppets that buy his Ava May wax melts funding his new bed etc ? Wonder if he has declared it as a second income to the tax man ? Mario acting like some victim He is too full of himself that no matter what anyone said about him , he wouldn’t believe it , he thinks he is a god . I think if he didn’t have Instagram he would sit in front of his mirror all day just talking to himself about himself . No one loves Mario more than he does . Sideshow Bob (Derek ) is Just there to nod like a puppet for Saint Mario’s performance to his adoring fans on Instagram or answer these millions of messages he gets sent daily what a narcissist

 

[Pinkloopsy]

I’ve lost my mojo for this fifty fucking dots later he still banging on about eating mince pies in bed. Top theee sayings. So aye I’ve got nothing to tell yas, hundreds millions of you have been messaging me about this, I was SOO surprised to get this delivered to my home address by the psychic person who guessed my address and sent it to me as a complete surprise.

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

Are we all sitting here worried about skinny Martin working until 10pm tonight, the pressure he is under to tell us he has nothing to tell us?

Or are you all moving your bathroom cabinets into the lounge and crafting something plastic to sit on top of it?

Honestly, I felt invincible before this (#gifted polar express) bell end started his journeeee on his platform and gave ma life meaning.

 

[TheNiceBeardMan]

don't talk about his cock, kiki!


I'm putting my spare loo roll holders thing in front of the tv. Draping my toothpaste and brushes tastefully on my chair. Looks gawjus.

I've stuck fanny pads on the wall. Quite the centre piece they are

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

This is my most favourite thread on Tattle! I love how much we loathe St Melvin

 

[Kikini Bamalam]

No one ever:
View attachment 55911

What would a microfiber cloth on its own do? And as for using water, would it not just give it water marks? Mind you, I bet with their greasy heads against it everynight there are deeper stains waiting to appear.
I wonder if he'll do a tutorial on how to get spunk stains out of it at some point? It could be quite the spunk stain juuurrrrnnnnnneeehhhhhh

 

[Greedy beggy]

Yes to all of this!

Martin has delusions of grandeur methinks.

What a gobshite.

“ A boy like me “ is he not about 36 year old ?
His own product ? No a copy of someone else’s product with your Name on the sticker

 

[Divinechat]

He has actually just said he hates clutter His house is like a fucking jumble sale with all the clutter

 

[cleaningupthecrap]

He's the worlds biggest cunt. How Derek can stand him I'll never know

I actually think Derek is stoned most of the time.

 

[4tuhju]

"So I bought a chunky bed runner for my sister and storied that journey"

Bespokely made finished me off