Cleaning with Mario #13 He can't believe it's not clutter

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No way?? When did he get messaged that?
 
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So accurate! But you forgot a big one...

“My family and their lives are private” / “ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE NOW

Including - dads heart attack, treatment and recovery; mums employment including name and location and time served; sisters house move, renovations and hideous decor choices et al!
 
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Ewewwww . The disgusting wee clat bag stores his handheld hoover which he hoovers the bog floor with next to his bread bin
 
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I know it’s been said time and time again but what’s with the incessant spraying and shit!!! I’ve just sprayed some fly spray in my living room because, well it’s summer so all windows and doors open, my dog went running oot the hoose sneezing like a banshee.

Edit: the way he hoovers is annoying id love him to move his sofa and see what’s hiding/living under there! He hoovers like 5inches away from everything . Think he just thinks ‘hoover lines’ is classed as cleaning.
 
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Morning ma lovelies!! Pure boiling here the day so just gonnae do ma usual, spray the shit outa everything, move nuthin, run the shark over the same 4cm of free carpet space, then sling £30 in that absolutely STUNNING game changing wee bum bag I got from ASOS last week, head oot and see what new useless crap I can buy fur ma little shop of horrors. So aye.... mwah mwah mwah
 
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“My first love song quit playing games with my heart” well am not 1 bit surprised by this admission by the maid herself but know this Marion u better quit getting on my nerves, my boujee, bespoke designer nerves ok. Am gonna end up on the smoke like yer good man. And am tempted to send u a boujee message telling u my true feelings but I’m afraid that the message might not reach u, because for all I know it could end up in your outbox, sent box, inbox so aye..nae debates oan ma page
 
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As an experiment for science and the benefit of mankind and planet earth, we should all live as Melvin for a day and then do an impact report on:

1. How did it affect your breathing and your bowels?
2. Did you feel boujee and bespoke at any point?
3. Did other members of your household require medication / demand a divorce / sleep in the spare room / weep silently and glare balefully / open a Tik Tok account?
4. Does your pet now hate you?
5. How's your bank balance?

Test subjects must possess a wintry housecoat and a devil may care attitude.

Anyone?
 
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Does it bother anybody else the way he says helllloooo myyy lovvvvllllieeees because I’m about ready to smash my head into my phone, it’s so insincere the way he says it! Dickhead!
 
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Does it bother anybody else the way he says helllloooo myyy lovvvvllllieeees because I’m about ready to smash my head into my phone, it’s so insincere the way he says it! Dickhead!
He’s a condescending professional boujee wee troll that knows exactly what he’s doing. He thrives off all the hate
 
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No way?? When did he get messaged that?
It was ages ago - someone messaged him asking what it actually meant & he did a story (which clarified he actually didn’t know ) He was like: “boujee jist means, like, boujee, ah don’t know how tae explain it, ma lovelie, like jist pyooar boujee, so aye” It was MAGICAL

Bowel movements - him AND Deek
 
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so it’s Del Boy taking the driving lessons, not our Marie.
I bet he thinks he’s gona have his own wee chauffeur now. Don’t do it Derek!!!! There’ll be cheeky doobies to calm the nerves pre lesson I bet
Surley is Melvin is as blind as he makes out he wouldn’t be allowed to drive?
 
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How can you wish him dead, bloody hell! I know we all take the piss and he knows it, but he's not harmed any of us, so to wish death on him is scary!
 
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How can you wish him dead, bloody hell! I know we all take the piss and he knows it, but he's not harmed any of us, so to wish death on him is scary!
People who tend to send messages like that are normally people you know or an ex or something. Not unless someone has said something like eat shite and die which is more of an expression and he had over dramatised it. I need to laugh but I’ve just came on to post 20 stories to let you all know that I don’t care and I’m not bothered by it!?! Lol he has probs made it all up for content since he has none except for hoovering and cleaning round stuff
 
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Yeh, its normally someone whose unhinged or with a grudge! I see where he's coming from as nobody deserves hate unless it's warranted, but if it's TRUE, name and shame them - I would!

So aye, ma lovelies.... he's looking particularly boujee today with his glasses and sweatshirt!
 
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Did someone wish him dead though? Why does he not do what Hinch does and post said message, naming them or not? I’m taking that as bullshit til I see the proof..come on we love slagging him cos he’s such a self centred arrogant knob but who would actually wish him dead
 
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Don’t believe for a second his little rant about death threats etc, I think someone’s fishing for insta love and clarification on how wonderfully plush he is.
he’s jumped on the hinch train for sympathy like she does.
 
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I’m awaiting the 1354333 stories from all his minions blowing smoke up his arse telling him how great he is.
 
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