Cleaning with Mario #118 The only way is Essex

[Sloppys]

Well what a great advert for Dan Yell’s company . At least it doesn’t look as uncomfortable as the one he’s just sent back. I guarantee by the end of the year he’s got another new one as he won’t be able to cope with the scatter back. I think I said this when he had the sofa before the last one that I’d had to buy a new one but only because we’d moved and my old one wouldn’t fit in my new living room. I’m still annoyed about that. That one was 6 years old and as a good as new. Whether he gets them for free or not it’s just stupid to be replacing your sofa every year. I thought it was going to be some other collab with all that blurb at the start but no same old Mario, same old crap.
How obvious them first stories were aimed at us aswell, non of youse guessed! Nae we didn’t Mario, cuz no one replaces a sofa after 8 months.
Also, I bet he starts to move to beige after saying he wouldn’t. Lightest shade of grey but it no beige. After that bathroom and bedroom it’ll be back to decorating the living room.

 

[Freefalling]

Sooooo much to dissect from those dots of doom

1. He's got a button mushroom but also have his balls even dropped? He's as flat in the trousers dept as a Ken doll (and as hairless if that Instagram page we don't talk about is correct, iykyk)

2. The new sofa. I swear we had one the same about 20 years ago, those scatter backs are the most uncomfortable things invented. The colour of the new couch clashes massively with his lino floors, that would drive me crazy. I bet minus the filters it looks very different.

3. I'm grateful it's not another cat, it's bad enough knowing Rayne is being poisoned with all those chemicals and trapped in the high footfall area when the two numptie nuts are working or at Linwood farm. Arseholes.

4. That leap onto the sofa was revolting but he's absolutely tiny, honestly think wee Deek must be about the size of my 8 year old.

5. Finally, that bloody picture above their sofa, it's UGLY UGLY UGLY. Totally understand it being a treasured memory for Johnny but Mario, get a life and make your own memories you utter fanny

 

[blocknroll]

In Memorium

2018 - 2024

Family flowers only. Mourners are welcome to join us for a steak pie dinner at the Redstones Hotel following the service.

 

[Freefalling]

In Memorium

2018 - 2024

Family flowers only. Mourners are welcome to join us for a steak pie dinner at the Redstones Hotel following the service.

Varying degrees of ugly sofas those scatter cushions have me pure clutching ma beak

 

[Daisy Uncle]

Why grey tho, he filters everything to beige, grey is as over as his sex life ffs.
My sofa is 15 years old, had to work it out. Such crass consumerism, it's revolting the way he carries on. Looking at the last few years of his life, I'd have thought last year was his duck it year, cos that's the year he shoved an old granny out of his way, and was unkind and unsupportive to a disabled girl.

 

[Sloppys]

Varying degrees of ugly sofas those scatter cushions have me pure clutching ma beak

We should do a poll on the next thread - which one has been the most horrific?

 

[purplekissesx]

I bought a bed from that place before where he’s constantly getting his sofas, it didn’t even last a year and it was broken into pieces. My friend had a very similar experience, and my sis in law also had to replace her couch after 2 years. Puuuure shite!!!!!

 

[Catfan2]

Am I missing something here? Surely only people that live near Glasgow and can go to the showroom would buy anything from there? Who in their right mind buys a bed or a sofa online without checking if it’s comfortable first?

 

[peachy-keen]

Hope Rayne pisses on the new ugly sofa x

edited to add: quite a lot of comments on his post saying he just got a new one. He’ll be pure fuming at the snakes on that app.

 

[SuzyE]

Just went oan danyells website, maist of their corner suite sofas are £499, that in itself tells a story about the quality.

Is that all! feck my conservatory furniture was more than that, and my main sofas I'll not even go there, but l know they'll last me well.

 

[Little Miss Planner]

Couple of questions from today's non-influencial stories.....firstly why does that god awful Stanley cup look like its got an injection needle sticking out the top? Those sippy cups for adults are just awful to me.

Secondly, he says he was approached last year about getting the sofa replaced yet he's only had it what about 8 months or so was it? Did he get that concrete block one off discount Danielle too? If so, he can't have been happy with it from the moment he got it.

Honestly if I was bragging about having a duck it year it would not involve getting a new grey sofa and bragging on that app to strangers. It would mean ditching that app and going off and having experiences or visiting new places (not Primark or a cheap Chinese takeaway).

 

[Babybail93]

£500 for a sofa is wild I’ve spent more than that on bedding before (smell the wealth)

 

[thatsnotstrictlytrue]

£500 for a sofa is wild I’ve spent more than that on bedding before (smell the wealth)

You’ll forever be ma dream woman hen, even though I’m married to a man, so on and so forth.
True love

 

[pinkwaferbiscuit]

ANOTHER grey velour sofa?! Shows ooor Dan Yell cannae give those shite things away.

and all youse bitter trolls I huv found evidence of the boaby so stop with ur vagina rumours… zoom in though…

 

[Babybail93]

ANOTHER grey velour sofa?! Shows ooor Dan Yell cannae give those shite things away.

and all youse bitter trolls I huv found evidence of the boaby so stop with ur vagina rumours… zoom in though…

Quiet fat legs ain’t she? Might have lipodema like Scottish Declan

 

[gilly31]

Scatter cushion sofa? Surely wee Deek is gonna fall down the back of that?

one things for sure, he's going to be searching for bleeping ages for his lighter!

 

[Tinkerbell cat]

Awk fuckin quit it. It’s his duck off year and all he is saying duck it to is getting rid of that shite concrete sofa (which he clearly hated btw as he had it about 4 minutes) and got a new sofa. Absolutely riveting

he really is the saddest person I’ve ever met in all my 34 yrs on this planet and that’s saying something.

how is this app free, the entertainment it provides

Debbi Harris
New York in America
Blind Nikita Dug
Also

 

[Pepsi]

In Memorium

2018 - 2024

Family flowers only. Mourners are welcome to join us for a steak pie dinner at the Redstones Hotel following the service.

Ur the comments on the new sofa gonna reach past 194 or did he peak in 2020
Followers ur dropping like junkies ears in the close so aye

 

[AwwCosyWivDeek]

He is purely a simulation made for our amusement

AI, aye.

 

[Runforestrun]

In Memorium

2018 - 2024

Family flowers only. Mourners are welcome to join us for a steak pie dinner at the Redstones Hotel following the service.

There’s one missed out of this fugly line up too, remember after the scatter back ones he got new ones because the solid backs didn’t match the existing sofas? So Dan Yell gave him 2 full new sofas with cushion backs and a new padded coffin table in a slightly different shade of grey. So from 2018 to now that’s 5 different sofas