Cleaning with Mario #107 Tattlers off to the Costa Teguise in disguise

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Absoloot behaviour and nae debates. Ah bet youse bought a ticket tae see your bestie Hinch as well and your hoose honks oaf Mario's max welts.

In fact ah'm gonni cast a fine eye ower his big night oot yesterday, see if ah kin spot youse
I know I'm a piece of shit but please believe me, I'm not a influenced hun I swear
 
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Ahem
However, hear me out. Its just a small change of door wreath and flower arrangements, it ain't that deep. No B&M bobbies or willy nilly witches hats here
Well, I have something to confess. About 3 weeks ago, I was at the small business known as B&M, don't know if anyones heard of it, but it's basically a cheap shop here in Wales. Anyway, I seen these gorgeous white pumpkins that were absoloote pure stapuls for my living room, I bought them, chucked them on my side table to see what they'd look like, and that's where they've sat ever since. Pure bespoke. I've also done a fuck load of Christmas shopping and ordered my bespoke Christmas name labels. There'll be absolutely no debates on ma post, and do not anyone dare challenge me oan this. In fact do not even click the quote button on ma post, or you'll be blocked, reported and deleted. I refuse to engage in conversation about any of the above. So aye. Capesh.
 
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Hens, IDKBINTGTK, when someone says someone is a “Scheme Maw” what does it mean? Is it the same as saying a Council Estate Mum? I like to think I’m fluent in Scottish slang on this thread, but I’m a basic beginner. Factual.
 
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Hens, IDKBINTGTK, when someone says someone is a “Scheme Maw” what does it mean? Is it the same as saying a Council Estate Mum? I like to think I’m fluent in Scottish slang on this thread, but I’m a basic beginner. Factual.
Good question. I've no idea what a close is either in Scotland! But never liked to ask in case they thought I was as thick as Mario!
 
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Scheme maw - doesn't actually like her kids but will screech at you at the school gates if her kid and your kid don't get on
Close - communal part of block of flats
Messages - scheme haul

For avoidance of doubt absolutely nothing wrong with a scheme. I'm a wee scheme bird myself, but most of us grow up and move on emotionally if not geographically.
 
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Good question. I've no idea what a close is either in Scotland! But never liked to ask in case they thought I was as thick as Mario!
Scheme Maw is a factual estate maw but a wee bit scummier

a close is the enclosed entrance to a wee block of flats , communal area before the people’s front doors. This is where maid Marion’s nee’bours hing about oot the cold to share a needle or two and where the dug let’s go his daily dumps

Kapesh this app isn’t even ma job
 
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Wee Scottish lesson here the night. Tattie hearts to yas all. Tons a love

Edit - I need to stop adopting a Scottish accent. I’m from Cheshire / Manchester area & I sound a knob when I crack out a Marion-ism & my husband gives me the face.
 
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I need clarification on going to Morrisons for messages.

@Madge2022 can you help us please also
Oh ffs ya sassenachs. Ah ken youse ur asking me as ah'm pyoor educated and no jist cos ah remind youse oaf Martin.

A close is the shared hallway in a block of flats aka tenements.

Messages is your shopping.

Morrisons is a supermarket.

A boaby is a penis.

A joabby is a shite, also.

Spine bright
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Christ Almighty, if ah didni huv a penchant fur your art work ah'd be sticking youse oan ignore oan this app and nae debates.
 
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Anyone remember The Scheme, wi Marvin, Dana and wee Bullet? They shud make another one wi Deek, Beak and Rayne the wean.


 
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Cheers oor Madge, am about as far from Scotland as you can get and I get weird looks in ma hoose when ah practice ma Scottish! Scottish should be on Duolingo factual
 
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Youse furgoat aboot the spat oot ears in the close ma lovelie
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Cheers oor Madge, am about as far from Scotland as you can get
Ur youse fae Edinburgh?

Might oanly be the Weegies that get that joke
 
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Scheme - Housing estate generally populated by local authority tenants.
Estates are generally referring to bought, private housing.
I am a scheme goblin myself. I moved out and bought myself a boujee front and back door in an estate.
You can take the lassie out the scheme, but you'll never take the scheme out the lassie. Capeesh.
I also came from a close. Nay ears or needles in ours tho. It was well kept.
Messages are just groceries.
 
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