Cleaning with Mario #107 Tattlers off to the Costa Teguise in disguise

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Happy 40th, you look like a Wotsit, smell like a Frazzle and have a dick like a Chipstick. Also.

 

[GiftedNotFree]

what AGE IS HE!?!? A literal baby would get this. Dear god.

 

[SuzyE]

Wow, a lot of thought went into that present didn't it

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

On this bespoke dayn of birthday dawn I'd like to Congratulate the handsome groom Deed Deek & his pyoor stunning bride.
Wishing you'se both many years of happiness also.

(@hopethishelpsallthebest an easy one for you hen)
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[Ferguson]

Stop this now
The nickname Mas on his bespoke lassies trainers.
The nickname Maz on his wee perfume bottle lid

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

As if the illiterate dumbass is gonna read that book! That's beyond him

Excuse me hen, it's one of his faves! #stapul

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Tigerlilys just tweeted, that the toilets absolutely bunged up in shit. Blatantly obvious that the shart card wasn't thrust fast enough.

Speaking of tweets also.

 

[Ferguson]

Anyone else think the lassies only agreed to go as long as they didn’t have to go to the cat piss flat in seedhill?
---
‘We’ll come Hannah but can we go somewhere nice?’

Hinch, Greedy, Solomon & Her deed sister must be stuck in traffic also.

 

[Shrekssister]

Hannah is on her way up to the metal box to celebrate her favourite person ETA 17.17.

He'll be googling 17.17 angel number. Don't worry ma hen mario I've done it for you to save time in this dayn of dawn

 

[gilly31]

This is the best thread on tattle nae debates!

No one arguing way each other. it’s light hearted and funny, it doesn’t go round in fucking circles with people asking stupid questions and never fails to make me laugh!

 

[AwwCosyWivDeek]

It’s like all the kids are dressed up for their prom, the limo is about to arrive, and Auntie Julie from next door has thrown on a cardigan and popped in to give everyone a tenner before they leave, and is told to step in for a photo.

 

[AwwCosyWivDeek]

I would cry if one of my closest friends sent me £4 worth of crisps for a milestone birthday.

Absolute insult. And I love crisps.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

This grown man has just celebrated his 40th Birthday & he’s spending his days looking for Barbie perfume & buying witches hats.
He is NOT ok

Now then, now then, what's all this about? Also.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Do you remember last week, we were all fucking delusional insisting he'd be on holiday now. What's wrong with us. He really did wash his trainers 13 months in advance. Why would Marion take a week off to go on holiday, when he can take a week off and go to the shops, to buy leaves and mugs instead. No wonder she's scrubbed the ant farm this morning. Maybe she can take Hannah to get a pickle from fuck it Castelvecchi. Aye.

 

[Shrekssister]

40 year ago to the day the world became a slightly worse place. But at least its gathered us together, no doubt the funniest bunch on the Internet. Cheers tae us ma hens, tattie heart for each of you

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

Ahem
However, hear me out. Its just a small change of door wreath and flower arrangements, it ain't that deep. No B&M bobbies or willy nilly witches hats here

Well, I have something to confess. About 3 weeks ago, I was at the small business known as B&M, don't know if anyones heard of it, but it's basically a cheap shop here in Wales. Anyway, I seen these gorgeous white pumpkins that were absoloote pure stapuls for my living room, I bought them, chucked them on my side table to see what they'd look like, and that's where they've sat ever since. Pure bespoke. I've also done a fuck load of Christmas shopping and ordered my bespoke Christmas name labels. There'll be absolutely no debates on ma post, and do not anyone dare challenge me oan this. In fact do not even click the quote button on ma post, or you'll be blocked, reported and deleted. I refuse to engage in conversation about any of the above. So aye. Capesh.

 

[Ferguson]

Happy Birthday Mauve.

 

[Laura VanderBooben]

A wee 40 charrrrummm

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Charm bracelets on men ick...sorry not sorry

Imagine being a 40 year old man sitting in Harvey Nichols with your charm bracelet on probably from Lipsy in Argos

 

[AllieBee]

So the ''saviour'' of cleaning has sent him some deadheads and he is practically having an orgasm over them.
Whereas his fiancé, who does rather a lot for him, gets hardly fuck all mentioned.

Mario, you are a tosser of the highest order, a user and a wanker.

There, I got that off ma chest >phew<


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Sorry did he really say they came from Sophie Jamie the boys and the FOOFS?!!! Jesus Christ Maz can't you get anything right? A foof is a vagina you absolute plum.

 

[hopethishelpsallthebest]

He'll have that scarf on 24/7

One hunner percent lovely.