Well, there are objects called Halloween trees. Take off and nuke the planet from orbit.
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Just caught up on this dayn of dawn. So he had a Wetherspoons breakfast before work? I would be sick. I used to be a cleaner in a holiday park. The amount of bending you do and vacuuming etc you would bring your breakfast straight back up nae debates. Also. When I was a cleaner I lost 2 stone as it was so busy. He's not lost any weight at all. He's gaining weight. So he isn't doing proper cleaning. He is probably just dusting. Plus he has such short shifts anyway I don't know how he can call it a joab. Lazy fat leprechaun who doesn't own a bath or back door. Factual.
Pure affronted How could youse say such a thing about his Pat Butcher blouses and Primani Loafers not to mention his designed tracksuits amd leggingsWas the word fashion in-between nae and sense by any chance?
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AlsoHe’s got a cheek to whinge aboot anyone being negative, he’s always oan his stories writing a nonsensical essay about how anyone who uses threads is a moron and whatever else he was oan his high horse about recently 
i forget the rest of his rants, the bad grammar and spelling haunts me that bad that a need to block it oot ae ma memory otherwise I canny get a bespoke sleep at night xoxo
i forget the rest of his rants, the bad grammar and spelling haunts me that bad that a need to block it oot ae ma memory otherwise I canny get a bespoke sleep at night xoxoSaw his bespoke stories. Fake laughing. I don't think it's just about the sensitive skin comment. I think he's caught up on his tattle threads and he's fumming. So aye 
I actually think he's fuming because he thought he was tit hot saying on Andrew's post he'd ordered the oil the Friday before and then bam... his sensitive non sensitive skin comment... he's fumin cos he wants to be Andrew and that comment got him straight in the non balls he has . Hes embarrassed someone dissed him ... serves the ugly bleep right add that to your poxy book gonzoSaw his bespoke stories. Fake laughing. I don't think it's just about the sensitive skin comment. I think he's caught up on his tattle threads and he's fumming. So aye
I think most of us do more cleaning around our own homes (with the front and back doors) than he does for his joab. And we have to squeeze it in around our joabs that are actually our joabs.
Morning vile trolls. Had a dream marion and deek went to Rome and they packed so much crap that for a walk to the tourist spots they had to drag suitcases with them. Bespoke sippy cups were in tow, also.
Too much tattle for you hen
Hay T H U R A D A Y
So weird because I also had a dream about him
In mine, he launched a website and posted his home address for freebies. The address was-
Paisley Tower Block,
Flat 5 (flat with own door)
Paisley
Edited to add: I have no clue what his actual address is, and I have no desire to know.
Before we get tinkly fake laugh dots of doom about how he met someone who was saying that she went to a chiropodist who she later found out posted a mega-influencers home address on a website.
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pretty muchSorry I’m new herethis is definitely the funniest thread I watch
can someone fill me in on the house comments , so it’s obvious he stays in a really small flat but does he try to pretend it’s a house
he’s in a one bed postage stamp and continues to call it a houseHaha very strange behaviourpretty much
Still no sign of that oil he claims he bought on Friday 
even though he comes on insta and shows us when he’s bought a new bottle of bleach so odd that he hasn’t shown off his new body oil 
he must think everyone’s as stupid as him.
even though he comes on insta and shows us when he’s bought a new bottle of bleach so odd that he hasn’t shown off his new body oil he must think everyone’s as stupid as him.Welcome ma hen to the funniest wee corner of the Internet. A mortgage is no for him, no thank you.Sorry I’m new here
If him + Deek needed a mortgage they'd be fucked, the bank won't take candles + stale make up as a deposit. That boat has sailed, in fact it's sank
Welcome hen! Be prepared tae clutch your beak daily!Sorry I’m new here
It’s no even his FLAT hen. It’s in his dumb “finance’s” name wae the cooncil. Mario likes to tell us Derek slid intae his DMs oan the pull. The reality is that Derek was oot oan a night oot wae the orange crew and they had a pull a pig bet. Mario was the biggest pig in the pub so Derek took it hame. Maz never left #squattersrights
Am away for a few days in ma ain wee 2 berth caravan that's bigger than shartins "hoose" and I've no bought a single new item nor packed a case months ago, am no even taking make up with me cos a don't expect I'll need it Tae visit the showers and lavvys. WiFi will be dodgy so am hopin he's no going to do something momentous, should I cancel just in case?
I think so. Just in case
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