Deek looks like a little twitIt's obvious youse ur jealous of Martin's influencer lifestyle, it's reeking oot of youse. His Instagram is his legacy even though it's no his joab #capeeeesh
Tonsa luv Mx
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#treatit wee Deek wi wee Deek's petty cash #soaye
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Nice bloo toap to match his buckled Green Teef henIt's obvious youse ur jealous of Martin's influencer lifestyle, it's reeking oot of youse. His Instagram is his legacy even though it's no his joab #capeeeesh
Tonsa luv M
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#treatit wee Deek wi wee Deek's petty cash #soaye
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Thank god he’s no smiling
How dare youse, Martin is polishing truncheons everyday fur five minutes, ahd like tae see youse wurk so hard, get sum class and sit doon in your ain lane!!!!!
He’s definitely no working wae the full set ma lovely. Nothing behind the eyes. So aye
Feck me, the 90s called Martin, it wants the soda stream back. 
#notandad
#notandadI can’t wait until he fizzes it too much and it explodes in his face
Will we notice a difference in his looks?
And obviously ah meant the 80's, ah'm just too young tae remember them. Aye, they'll believe that Madge, quick thinking
Every photo of Derek makes him look like a dog on an animal rescue page who’s up for adoption but has been in the shelter for so long that they have to resort to cutesy anthropomorphism to try and get taker
This is Derek. A Jack Russell/Shih tzu mix, he’s a petit gent who didn’t have the best start in life. His last owner kept him chained up in a small flat for most of the day, and fed him a high-large diet which stunted Derek’s growth.
When Derek first came to us, he had severe dental issues so his new furever family would need to be experienced in dealing with extreme gingivitis.
Derek is now fully grown and ready for his new home. He’d like to be the only dog in a house and would prefer to not have someone home all day.
Cat-tested.
As good as neutered.
This is Derek. A Jack Russell/Shih tzu mix, he’s a petit gent who didn’t have the best start in life. His last owner kept him chained up in a small flat for most of the day, and fed him a high-large diet which stunted Derek’s growth.
When Derek first came to us, he had severe dental issues so his new furever family would need to be experienced in dealing with extreme gingivitis.
Derek is now fully grown and ready for his new home. He’d like to be the only dog in a house and would prefer to not have someone home all day.
Cat-tested.
As good as neutered.
£84 on that sodastream! That’s before he buys all the accessories to make a fizzy drink station to go next to the coffee station and hot chocolate station
You nusty trolls are all rolling your eyes at him for buying yet another thing for his teeny tiny kitchen that he doesn't need but I'm over here celebrating that after 25 years of Marion running his page, he has finally spelled the word "use" correctly 
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Awk hens I’m a wee rangers fan. Got a bespoke season ticket but it really upsets me when I know deeks a fan cause I worry il have to see Martin at ibrox one day. Maybe I can kick him down the club deck steps my lovelies 
Though doubtful, Martin wouldn’t do anythingor go anywhere if it doesn’t benefit him.
how much money does this wee bald weirdo spend?? Where does he put all the stuff?? He’s honestly needing to go to a money spending help group. It’s worrying.
he even ducked that up - “not and ad” - lollll how does he get the most simple things wrong
Though doubtful, Martin wouldn’t do anythingor go anywhere if it doesn’t benefit him.how much money does this wee bald weirdo spend?? Where does he put all the stuff?? He’s honestly needing to go to a money spending help group. It’s worrying.
he even ducked that up - “not and ad” - lollll how does he get the most simple things wrong
Sweating gammon flaps has creased meAw ma luvlie this needs a trigger warning. i don’t know wits worse her hooves, her pubic-like leg hairs, or the thought a her sweating gammon flaps in those leopard print hot pants
More stations than that there London.
Is it my Kerry katonas or does it look like a weird bulging vein on this calf??
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And realises it’s still rank rotten (yes we have one - hangs head in shame and sees self out)!
Probably varicose veins from all the tit he eats.
I think that’s just his rickets ma lovelie.
Ah heard Martin huz goat a season ticket and his seat is right next tae youseAwk hens I’m a wee rangers fan. Got a bespoke season ticket but it really upsets me when I know deeks a fan cause I worry il have to see Martin at ibrox one day. Maybe I can kick him down the club deck steps my lovelies
how much money does this wee bald weirdo spend?? Where does he put all the stuff?? He’s honestly needing to go to a money spending help group. It’s worrying.
he even ducked that up - “not and ad” - lollll how does he get the most simple things wrong
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Check youse oot zooming in, ah bet youse ur oan a bespoke register and nae debates ma lovelie
bleeping hell, a fizzy drink stayshun. I can hear the bespoke sign makers oan that small biz app Etsy rubbing their hands in glee.
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