Childfree

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After I got my cat 13 years ago I got so many comments that I would be having babies soon lol nope 😹 He would not appreciate that
 
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This is a little random and I wanted to come in and talk about an experience I had recently. Just some background, I’m 23, had a partner for 4 years and we talk about kids often. I know I’m really young, but I have known all my life that I’ve wanted children, I am extremely maternal and honestly can’t imagine my life, not ever having children.

A close friend told me recently that she doesn’t want children, ever. And it shocked me, and I feel a bit guilty that I probably looked gobsmacked and asked her why. I feel super bad about it and reading this thread has really opened my eyes. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but I have never met anyone who didn’t want children. I feel like I owe her an apology and should hear her out...thank you for letting me in here and letting me read all your experiences ❤

i completely respect all of your choices 💕
 
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I’m 47 and happily child free. I have never wanted children and thankfully neither did my husband. My previous partner who really was the love of my life changed his mind and decided he wanted children ten years into our relationship and so I had to end it, it broke my heart but I wasn’t going to have a child for anyone.
I am not maternal whatsoever and I have zero patience. I struggled to deal with having a kitten 😂 I confess I don’t actually like children near me so it’d be a bit of a disaster 😆
I think the main reason for me was that I don’t really understand family relationships. I’m like an outsider looking in on something that I never experienced. I was an unwanted child and love and affection wasn’t given in our house. I once asked my mum for a hug and her response was a horrified look followed by “why?”. I also had a very violent upbringing and I’ve a quick temper like my mother so all that combined its for the best.
My husband comes from a lovely close family who surprisingly have never asked about our child free choice which I’ve always been thankful for. He actually does like children but he has a genetic illness that his made his life a misery and do he never wanted to pass it on ... plus he’s far too narcissistic and he’s happy to admit that.
 
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This is a little random and I wanted to come in and talk about an experience I had recently. Just some background, I’m 23, had a partner for 4 years and we talk about kids often. I know I’m really young, but I have known all my life that I’ve wanted children, I am extremely maternal and honestly can’t imagine my life, not ever having children.

A close friend told me recently that she doesn’t want children, ever. And it shocked me, and I feel a bit guilty that I probably looked gobsmacked and asked her why. I feel super bad about it and reading this thread has really opened my eyes. Maybe it’s a cultural thing but I have never met anyone who didn’t want children. I feel like I owe her an apology and should hear her out...thank you for letting me in here and letting me read all your experiences ❤

i completely respect all of your choices 💕
Its really good you've had your perspective changed. But realistically, there are people you've met who will probably decide actively not to have children even if they say they do want them now. People tend to think those who don't want children can change their minds but the opposite is true too.

I'm nearly 30 and when I was in my early 20s was sure I wanted children - 3 of them in fact. The past couple of years I shifted entirely to not wanting them at all. Now I'm becoming more open to the idea again but very cautiously and I know if I do I would definitely only want 1.
 
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I love seeing families and the whole idea of family but that's just not what life dealt me. I could never have kids because of my mental illness even though I'm a functioning adult in my 30s with a career I have to take so much time to look after myself. I need peace and quiet, I need a lot of time on my own to recharge. I almost have to treat myself like a child and my family do the same. My pets feel like children sometimes even them needing my attention and feeding/grooming can be tough on my bad days. I could never look after a child but I have a lot of respect for people who do though.
 
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I’m childless and have always wanted children, it didn’t happen due to a bad relationship etc etc. Now with someone and seeing what happens and if it does then great and if not, that’s ok too. I know I’ll have a nice life either way. I’ve got a niece and nephew who I adore. So I’m lucky in that way.
it still seems a taboo subject and people always feel sorry for us childless people. But each to their own. Whatever makes you happy I say

I think the worst thing I heard was: Who is going to take care of you when you’re old?
If that’s the reason that person had children, imagine what kind of parent they would be!
I always say when people ask me that that’s I’ll have more then enough money to take myself off to dignitas 😂 it shuts them up
 
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I’m childless/child free by choice. I am only quite young (20’s) and people keep telling me that I’ll change my mind, that I should just have one ect ect. Even my SIL said a while back, “I’m sure you’ll buy a bigger house when you start a family.” Why presume that’s what I want?

My family know I don’t want children, my partner’s family don’t. I’m my mum’s youngest child and there’s no chance the older two will have children. One brother has serious mental health problems and can’t have children, the other is married to a woman in her late 40’s who’s never been able to have children. My partner is one of two children, his sister is a single woman in her 30’s and it’s very unlikely she will have children. So I guess there’s kind of a pressure on us to have a child, but it won’t happen.

there’s lots of reasons I don’t want one, my own upbringing, fears of medical procedures, I’m selfish, I am very bad tempered and impatient are just a few.
 
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SO many people I know are pregnant at the moment. I just don't understand why you'd want to bring a child into tit show that is the world right now.
 
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I dont want children; I don't think I could give them a decent life. I'm rubbish with money and my mental health isn't stable enough.
 
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I am 31 and in a long term relationship with my boyfriend and a cat, we just don't want kids right now.. maybe down the line if its meant to be it will be but we are just so selfish right now, enjoy our holidays, going out for food and drinks etc (when there isnt a lockdown obv)... i just feel when we have kids our life will change massively so i would rather wait until we actually want them and are prepared to let our lives change...
 
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I am 31 and in a long term relationship with my boyfriend and a cat, we just don't want kids right now.. maybe down the line if its meant to be it will be but we are just so selfish right now, enjoy our holidays, going out for food and drinks etc (when there isnt a lockdown obv)... i just feel when we have kids our life will change massively so i would rather wait until we actually want them and are prepared to let our lives change...
This sounds a lot like my partner and I (we also have a cat😂). Pre covid we were living life to the full. Growing up I didn’t have much as my mum was single and poor, so for me to now have holidays abroad to America, meals out, weekends away ect feels like a dream come true and we just love our life as it is (pre covid 😂). If something isn’t broke, why fix it? At the moment we are happy and content as we are and we don’t feel like we need anything more. 😀
 
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I would like children one day (I'm 27) but the world right now makes me not want to....
 
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I can’t imagine my life without kids and I always knew I wanted them....but that’s me.

I think others should keep out of other people’s business. If people choose not (or choose too) have children does not affect anyone but them.
See I can't imagine my life with kids and I always knew I didn't want them.

Yet in society only one or these things is acceptable to say?

Not attacking you BTW, just pointing out the discrepancy.
 
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This sounds a lot like my partner and I (we also have a cat😂). Pre covid we were living life to the full. Growing up I didn’t have much as my mum was single and poor, so for me to now have holidays abroad to America, meals out, weekends away ect feels like a dream come true and we just love our life as it is (pre covid 😂). If something isn’t broke, why fix it? At the moment we are happy and content as we are and we don’t feel like we need anything more. 😀
Yep exactly the same! :D Our wee cat is only 7 months, she gets alllll our attention, and we can still go for weekends away as we have a cat sitter haha.. We go to Thailand once a year to see my partners grandad, we like to go away on at least one other sunshine holiday to spain with my family at some point which i could not imagine doing with a child as i like to get drunk 😂, then we like going away for long weekends, like going out for meals and out to the pub whenever we feel like it! Our wage goes on us and what we want to do, and its really nice :D
 
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I’m childfree. I’ve never felt maternal. I’m 35 now and still don’t feel maternal. Surely by now I would know if I really wanted children? Wouldn’t I??? People used to say ‘oo it’s different when they’re your own’ ‘ooo one day you’ll know’, well, I honestly don’t feel different. I sometimes get asked about kids, usually by the older people at work. There was even a time after my sister had twins that I’m very sure my manger and another bloke at work were convinced I’d be having babies imminently. Making little comments. Weird hints. It made me cringe. That was 4 years ago now, and here I still am, without children. People are nosey and presumptuous.
My old manager never wanted kids as she loved her life and being able to do what she wanted whenever. However, she got pregnant (unplanned) just before 40 and now she's so doting on her little daughter! But I agree that's the exception not the rule, I think most people know by then if they want kids or not.

I am not sure if I do or not. I've not found anyone to have them with yet and I'm not in a position to bring them up myself as I couldn't afford property and childcare etc. I'm also not very sure I'd be a good parent. I like the idea of kids but not sure about the practicalities / my suitability, and I wouldn't want to bring a child into the world if I had any doubts on my ability to look after them.
 
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Yep exactly the same! :D Our wee cat is only 7 months, she gets alllll our attention, and we can still go for weekends away as we have a cat sitter haha.. We go to Thailand once a year to see my partners grandad, we like to go away on at least one other sunshine holiday to spain with my family at some point which i could not imagine doing with a child as i like to get drunk 😂, then we like going away for long weekends, like going out for meals and out to the pub whenever we feel like it! Our wage goes on us and what we want to do, and its really nice :D
Our cat is 7 months too! How funny! We have a cat sitter too, well it’s my partner’s mum, dad and sister. We usually go to America for two weeks a year, so he will go and stay with them once we can do that again. Any trips for less than a week they come to us and look after him. I mean, a child probably would suit most of our holidays, as we tend to do Florida, California and similar places, but I much prefer them without! 😂

See I can't imagine my life with kids and I always knew I didn't want them.

Yet in society only one or these things is acceptable to say?

Not attacking you BTW, just pointing out the discrepancy.
I used to have a “friend” that had one child, she had got pregnant when we were in college together. Whenever I used to say that I didn’t want children, she would get so angry about it, saying that I’ll change my mind, that I’m selfish, that it doesn’t make sense. Part of me thinks she was bitter because she was in a dead end relationship with the father of the baby and she wasn’t happy with her life. Either way it was wrong and it used to wind me up, I would never say to her, “you shouldn’t have had a child, why would you do that?”
 
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I have always imagined I would have children but am very happily child free at the moment.

I am 31, been married for 6 years, own our 3 bed house so am always being asked when I am having kids.

I also take great pleasure in correcting people when they say I am childless, that I am no less of a person because I don't have a child and I am child free by choice. Puts a few peoples noses out, but serves them right fir being so nosey
 
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Our cat is 7 months too! How funny! We have a cat sitter too, well it’s my partner’s mum, dad and sister. We usually go to America for two weeks a year, so he will go and stay with them once we can do that again. Any trips for less than a week they come to us and look after him. I mean, a child probably would suit most of our holidays, as we tend to do Florida, California and similar places, but I much prefer them without! 😂
Oh wow, how funny :D I couldn't be without her now, little lockdown kitten haha. We found our cat sitter on the ''cat in a flat'' website, we were really weary at first incase she was a nutcase and robbed us and took the cat or something but she is a lovely woman and i think she likes staying at ours to get away from her husband 😂 I think a child would suit our holidays too cause we are like big kids, do the themeparks, water parks, water sports etc but i just don't want the extra responsibility, if i want to get drunk at 2pm on the beach then i can 😂 I love my nephews and nieces and spending time with them but my heads wrecked after a few hours and i love handing them back :ROFLMAO:
 
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I would have loved to have children if that was possible. But it didnt work out like that, and realized I still have a good life. One does feel sorry for oneself for a bit, but there's a lot of advantages.
 
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I'm childfree but over the past few weeks, I've realised that I may actually want kids. My grandma's been in hospital and without her three children around to help her sort out her home, take her to appointments, calm her down, it wouldn't have worked. They've been abiding by the hospital's covid rules, don't worry.

It's made me (selfishly) think that if that happens to me in old age, I wouldn't have anyone. It's definitely a thinker.
 
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