Oh that is bad luck! A nice meal, cake and films sound great. Enjoy.
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I’m child free. 34 and have been married for 10 years. I’m pretty sure I’ll never change my mind.
Reading this thread I’m so shocked at how many people have been called selfish for not breeding. Who are you surrounding yourselves with who says this kind of tit to you? Obviously I occasionally get asked when I’m going to start a family blah blah blah but if someone dared to call me selfish for choosing not to, I’d tell them to go duck themselves!
Reading this thread I’m so shocked at how many people have been called selfish for not breeding. Who are you surrounding yourselves with who says this kind of tit to you? Obviously I occasionally get asked when I’m going to start a family blah blah blah but if someone dared to call me selfish for choosing not to, I’d tell them to go duck themselves!
I’m 28 and been with my OH for four years. He’s 34 and got an 11 year old son from a previous relationship and we have said from day 1 we won’t have a baby. My MIL used to ask quite a lot in the first few years and once even did it in front of my step son. I think she eventually got my please stop asking me vibe and now I only get the odd comments from people. I don’t outright tell people my life decisions so I find it weird when they query why I’m childless. I myself would NEVER query why someone hasn’t had kids, you don’t know whether it was a conscious decision they’ve made or if they are unable to!
Before my husband and I even started dating 10 years ago, I knew that he didn't want children. He comes from a wonderfully close family himself, but has always said that he loves his life the way it is and isn't prepared to make the sacrifices required to be a parent. I went on to date him, get engaged to him, and marry him knowing that he firmly doesn't want children. I wasn't sure whether I wanted children, but I was sure that I wanted a life with my husband by my side - it just seemed like a no-brainer.
I'm 35 now and so relieved that we haven't had kids. I started therapy a few years ago because I'm struggling to get over how abusive my own childhood was. I can't imagine being a parent while being so cut up over my own parents.
I would like to think that if my husband and I had decided to have a baby, he would have been very hands-on and we would have split childcare equally. However, this has not been the case for any of our friends or family. Couples we we thought got on swimmingly have really seemed to struggle after having a baby - primarily because a large part of the childcare seems to fall to the women. I've been surprised by how many of our male friends seem to have travelled back to the 1950s since their children were born. I don't think my marriage could survive my husband retreating to the shed every time a baby cries or needs changing.
The coronavirus pandemic has made me further appreciate the life that we have - we have few responsibilities, lots of hobbies, and the luxury of total silence.
I'm 35 now and so relieved that we haven't had kids. I started therapy a few years ago because I'm struggling to get over how abusive my own childhood was. I can't imagine being a parent while being so cut up over my own parents.
I would like to think that if my husband and I had decided to have a baby, he would have been very hands-on and we would have split childcare equally. However, this has not been the case for any of our friends or family. Couples we we thought got on swimmingly have really seemed to struggle after having a baby - primarily because a large part of the childcare seems to fall to the women. I've been surprised by how many of our male friends seem to have travelled back to the 1950s since their children were born. I don't think my marriage could survive my husband retreating to the shed every time a baby cries or needs changing.
The coronavirus pandemic has made me further appreciate the life that we have - we have few responsibilities, lots of hobbies, and the luxury of total silence.
I’m late 30’s and child free. I always wanted kids and when I met my husband we always planned to have kids and talked about it a lot but when we were on our honeymoon he said to me for the first time we should also consider what it might be like to not have kids. I honestly had a moment where I felt he had tricked me into marriage by saying he wanted kids and was now backtracking. However that wasn’t the case, he has had phases of being broody as have I early on in our marriage
i just couldn’t ever get past the feeling of not being ready despite the fact we were married, had a house, incomes. I’ve spent a lot of the last few years worrying knowing that time is running out but I’ve got to the point that actually I just don’t feel children are something I want now. I do think I have a very real phobia of pregnancy and childbirth but after a really hard few years we’ve got to the point that our lives could be quite nice if it wasn’t for COVID. We’re doing well financially and this year had planned to have some holidays and city breaks and that was something we wanted to do more of. I think the lockdown has even less made me want to have children. I probably am quite a selfish person, I like to have my own space, I like peace and quiet and I really value my freedom. Before lockdown we used to like getting in the car at night because we were bored and going for a drive or a meal, booking last minute holidays. I do really worry I’ll live to regret my decision but like the lady above I had quite an abusive childhood and my mum told me many times how I’d ruined her life and she was stuck with my dad because of me. I feel ultimately it will be better to regret not having a child than regret having one and I know I will have to make my decision and stick with it
i just couldn’t ever get past the feeling of not being ready despite the fact we were married, had a house, incomes. I’ve spent a lot of the last few years worrying knowing that time is running out but I’ve got to the point that actually I just don’t feel children are something I want now. I do think I have a very real phobia of pregnancy and childbirth but after a really hard few years we’ve got to the point that our lives could be quite nice if it wasn’t for COVID. We’re doing well financially and this year had planned to have some holidays and city breaks and that was something we wanted to do more of. I think the lockdown has even less made me want to have children. I probably am quite a selfish person, I like to have my own space, I like peace and quiet and I really value my freedom. Before lockdown we used to like getting in the car at night because we were bored and going for a drive or a meal, booking last minute holidays. I do really worry I’ll live to regret my decision but like the lady above I had quite an abusive childhood and my mum told me many times how I’d ruined her life and she was stuck with my dad because of me. I feel ultimately it will be better to regret not having a child than regret having one and I know I will have to make my decision and stick with it
I’m in my late 30s too and childfree by choice. I always felt a bit of a weirdo for have literally no wish to have a child, so of course when me and my husband got married last year we got the inevitable ‘so when will we hear the latter of tiny feet?’ all the time! I find it so offensive, especially as many people don’t even approach the question in a nice way, it is just this demand for an answer. I was also quite surprised at how aggressive people were when I told them we didn’t want kids, we got what a lot of others posters here had with how selfish we are and how we will change our minds. My particular favourite is the tick tock and some offensive comment about how I’m not getting any younger...
I don’t have a particular reason such as overpopulation or personal/family issues, I just don’t want a child and to have one to conform to society is so not the right thing to do.
Thank you for this thread it is so nice to not be the odd one out! X
I don’t have a particular reason such as overpopulation or personal/family issues, I just don’t want a child and to have one to conform to society is so not the right thing to do.
Thank you for this thread it is so nice to not be the odd one out! X
Late replying to this but...I’m finding it hard to come across any men who also don’t want children. Tbf, I’m only using apps at the moment, but it does say on my profile I don’t want children, however, I’m matching with men who have on their profile that they want kids
I think most men have a very romanticised view of parenthood so would likely see no reason not to want kids. As women we have the physical strain of pregnancy and in the majority of cases we bear the brunt of the work it takes to raise a kid.
It's odd that there is some expectation that childfree women need to justify their decision. I don't walk up to people with kids and ask them to explain their reasons for procreating.
It has been something that made me feel so insecure for awhile - constantly feeling like I had to explain myself as a woman, when my husband never gets asked about not having children. 
I agree I had one particular delight at work when a colleague practically cornered me and interrogated me about my decision. Her main concern was who was going to look after us when we’re old! Apparently my hope for a nice nursing home was not what she wanted as an answer 
We had a childfree wedding which was bliss. Because it was held in a 1000 year old castle I told guests the venue banned them due to the uneven flooring haha.
We had a childfree wedding which was bliss. Because it was held in a 1000 year old castle I told guests the venue banned them due to the uneven flooring haha.
We always tell people that the money we would have spent raising a child is being saved so that we can afford top-notch care when we're old.I agree I had one particular delight at work when a colleague practically cornered me and interrogated me about my decision. Her main concern was who was going to look after us when we’re old! Apparently my hope for a nice nursing home was not what she wanted as an answer
Also, just because you have children, that doesn’t guarantee they’ll be looking after you in your old ageI agree I had one particular delight at work when a colleague practically cornered me and interrogated me about my decision. Her main concern was who was going to look after us when we’re old! Apparently my hope for a nice nursing home was not what she wanted as an answer
We had a childfree wedding which was bliss. Because it was held in a 1000 year old castle I told guests the venue banned them due to the uneven flooring haha.
I’m reaching the point in my life where me and OH are talking about kids..is it natural to feel scared and overwhelmed at the thought? I really struggle with my feelings around it as I can see myself having a fab life without kids, but also with kids. It’s really cutting me up inside 
I have a 1 child. I am only early 20’s but I never imagined my life with children. Even my family used to joke about how I’d be as mother because I’m not maternal. I cried when I took a pregnancy test. Not happy tears more like what the duck. I was in an abusive relationship, I was going on like 5 holidays a year and enjoyed having no children. I’m glad I have a child now as she’s motivated me to make changes in life but I do often wonder how my life would be if I didn’t fall pregnant. I even sometimes forget I have a child and jump when I see her in the back of the car I wouldn’t have anymore.
I wouldn’t have anymore.
I agree. I have one but I have quite a few friends and family that can’t have them. I also really admire women who don’t want children.I have a child but I’m really conscious not to ask others when they’re going to have children. I have quite a few childfree and friends who can’t have children.
I just think it’s rude. I’ve only spoken about it if they bring it up. It’s none of mine or anyone else’s business.
My daughter is still young but always says she doesn’t want kids. I honestly believe she may stick with that. I can’t imagine her having children and I respect her and anyone’s rights to have or not to have.
People seem to think it’s fair game. With couples and women as well
I love your honesty xI have a 1 child. I am only early 20’s but I never imagined my life with children. Even my family used to joke about how I’d be as mother because I’m not maternal. I cried when I took a pregnancy test. Not happy tears more like what the duck. I was in an abusive relationship, I was going on like 5 holidays a year and enjoyed having no children. I’m glad I have a child now as she’s motivated me to make changes in life but I do often wonder how my life would be if I didn’t fall pregnant. I even sometimes forget I have a child and jump when I see her in the back of the car
I was incredibly overwhelmed when it came to thinking about pregnancy. I had time to sit and work through my feelings and it took me a good year to be resolute that the overwhelming feeling was my gut telling me this wasn't for me - it may be different for you, but I think it's a common feeling whether or not you end up with a baby.I’m reaching the point in my life where me and OH are talking about kids..is it natural to feel scared and overwhelmed at the thought? I really struggle with my feelings around it as I can see myself having a fab life without kids, but also with kids. It’s really cutting me up inside
I have wanted a baby most of my life, but i still felt like this once I was married and had my home and felt the time was right.I’m reaching the point in my life where me and OH are talking about kids..is it natural to feel scared and overwhelmed at the thought? I really struggle with my feelings around it as I can see myself having a fab life without kids, but also with kids. It’s really cutting me up inside
No matter how much you might want it its still a masssssssive process deciding the time is right.
I panicked that I was viewing parenthood through rose tinted spectacles and wanted it for so long that I hadn't actually thought about it properly as a grown adult.
But...in the end I always knew I wanted it. Hard to explain but I didn't feel fulfilled. I still don't, which is how i know I want at least one more. Probably just one more. Cos to be honest it's bloody hard work. Rewarding yes but bloody hard.
Completely agree. People have said this to me before and I’ve replied that’s not a reason to have children, and anyone that does that is extremely selfish.Also, just because you have children, that doesn’t guarantee they’ll be looking after you in your old age
Do you have to decide? Or decide now? I don't think everyone either has to want kids or be content being child free . You can switch between wanting to go down each path until your circumstances make the decision for you.I’m reaching the point in my life where me and OH are talking about kids..is it natural to feel scared and overwhelmed at the thought? I really struggle with my feelings around it as I can see myself having a fab life without kids, but also with kids. It’s really cutting me up inside
Hello.Anyone else childfree?
Childless = can't have children for whatever reason, could be medical, etc.
Childfree = someone that chooses not to have children.
I am an only child and have known since I was quite young that I didn't want children. It can be quite annoying as I am at that age where people are having kids, and people feel like it is their business to ask when I will have kids. There almost still seems to be a taboo against women who choose not to have children which is frustrating.
Let's keep this civil
I'm 36, an only child and childless through choice - never wanted children and it was discussed when I met my boyfriend of almost 4 years (he's 33 and I moved in with him during lockdown and that's been challenging enough without kids 
) - he's not interested, so we're happy together with his 2 dogs who feel like mine now. I have had acquaintances and other people asking when I'll have children/why dont I want them and some being a bit shocked when I say I don't want any because I prefer not to be tied downward have my freedom - it's quite rude to be judgemental, isn't it? If they are happy with one or multiple kids, then great, but I don't want any and that's my choice. I love your honesty. Everyone has an opinion and boy do they love to share it.Hello.
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