I am 37 and childfree. This might be a long one.
I have always known I did not want to have children, and never wavered, even knowing I am fast approaching the end of my fertile years.
I have always been very upfront about this with every potential partner (I would find a way of bringing it up in conversation pretty early during dating to just not waste our time) which has scared away quite a few men.
Luckily, I am now in a relationship with someone who also isn't interested in having children.
I have heard the most horrible things when I say I don't want children, from being selfish, to hating kids, and even called a freak. I will admit babies bore me to death and toddlers just annoy me, but I just LOVE kids from 4 years on. They are such fun to be with! I couldn't actually do my job if I didn't like them, as I mostly work with school kids. I actually spend more time daily with kids than most parents do.
A couple of friends of mine have children and they just adore me. And I really enjoy being with them. I just don't think I'd enjoy it full time.
I am an introvert and NEED to be alone and in silence quite a lot for my well being. With a kid, you just lose all that. I actually feel you lose your personality. I see it happening. You just become "mum". A diluted version of yourself. Just check the insta bios of your friends when they become mothers. They no longer are "A life fueled on wine and cheese", they are "mom to (insert name)". Sorry, but I don't want to give up who I am.
The whole "who will take care of you when you're old" argument is just ludicrous. First, if that's your reason for having kids, you're being pretty selfish (which I get called often). Second, who says you're not going to be a tit parent and not deserving of their care? Or that your children won't be little people who won't care about you? Third, what if you have a disabled child who will need YOUR care all their lives? Who will take care of them when you're gone?
"Oh, but you'll never feel the TRUE LOVE a child brings", yeah, and also the relentless worry for the rest of your life. I'm already an anxious person as it is, I don't need that extra worry in my life - I wouldn't cope.
Seriously though, nobody does a worst job of trying to convince me to have kids than parents themselves. "It's so hard, the hardest thing I've ever done." I know. Trust me, I am aware of how hard it is. That's why I don't have them. I think most people who have kids just didn't really realize how much work it would be.
I know I am too self-centered and appreciative of my freedom to have kids. I also hate the idea of having someone depending on me on that level. Its is much better to aknowledge it and act in accordance than to bring a child into the world who would most likely make me miserable and, in turn, be miserable. I have never been so sure I made the right decision. I got a contraceptive implant put in last year and my nurse said "you can come take it out when you change your mind". I replied "See you in 3 years, when I'm due to switch to a new one".
For anyone who needs an answer that will shut up people when they ask "when will you have kids", back when I ~cared about what others thought, I would answer "When God wants me to". That would be the end of the conversation, as they'd mostly be left thinking I was struggling to conceive and would leave me alone. Now I just DGAF and say "never".
Apologies for the long rant. I just always have A LOT to say on this subject and sometimes come across as angry when debating it. I am in no way criticizing those who choose to have kids as I think it takes a lot of bravery and selflessness. It's a beautiful thing. I'd just like for society to accept that being childfree is A CHOICE and it is just as valid .
I always say I'm great with babies. As long as they have fur and four legs.