Childfree

[bubbletea123]

I think there are judgemental opinions happening here on both sides.

If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.

I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.

For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!

But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.

We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.

Peace out folks

Because this is a thread that I created for childfree (people who choose not to have children) folks. I am sure there is one for parents too.
We are expressing how happy we are to not have children and are free to talk about that. Some parents have come in and we have had great conversations without anyone being condescending.

Here's a breakdown of my day
Up at 7 am and have coffee
Go and exercise for an hour
Have breakfast, shower
Walk the dog
Video call family
Read a book / watch a tv show / clean the house / paint
Start cooking dinner
Husband and I eat dinner together
Feed dog
Go for a walk
Self-care
Bed

Far from dull for me.

 

[MakkaPakka]

I'm a parent. I CRAVE a dull day. (I love my kid, obviously, but my life was great before I had him and I think I would've lead a great life without becoming a mother, too.) I totally understand why people don't want kids and parents should stop being smug about their offspring.

 

[hiya_hun]

I think there are judgemental opinions happening here on both sides.

If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.

I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.

For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!

But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.

We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.

Peace out folks

I would love to know why a frazzled parent of 3 is even on a thread titled 'childfree' and feeling the need to comment.

I certainly don't read threads on potty training, home schooling or peppa pig episodes. Because it's not my life and I'm happy it isn't! Those things don't interest me.

There is no need to come on here, as the previous poster did, and say how 'there's no love like it'. there are threads here ASKING opinions on 'do you regret having kids?' and that is where these comments belong.

This is a thread for the childfree to peacefully chat about their quiet quarantines. If you are happy with your kids then chat about it on a thread that cares?

 

[newtoyou]

I think there are judgemental opinions happening here on both sides.

If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.

I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.

For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!

But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.

We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.

Peace out folks

Every thread I’ve been on on Tattle has cattiness on it

There’s absolutely nothing wrong imo with people coming here to find people to talk to about shared experiences.

Having no children may not impact our daily lives but we’ve all probably been judged for it so it’s nice to have people to chat about it with. Just like it’s hopefully comforting for you to join in parenting threads.

Shame you feel that it’s not necessary for us to talk together just cos of a bit of disagreement. Nobody here was judging or being smug towards parents.

 

[hiya_hun]

I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.

Just gonna chime in again to just note that now really IS the time to be discussing wether to have or not have kids.

I've never seen so much stuff online before in my LIFE about how difficult having kids really is. Every parent I know is complaining or stressing about entertaining their kids, trying to get their head around school work, trying to work from home or just not being able to lean on grandparents for support.

I've honestly never been happier to not have kids than now. Me and my husband can happily go about our business and WFH in peace. It's a difficult time for everyone but we don't have the added stress of looking after children too, and that's our choice!

 

[bubbletea123]

Just gonna chime in again to just note that now really IS the time to be discussing wether to have or not have kids.

I've never seen so much stuff online before in my LIFE about how difficult having kids really is. Every parent I know is complaining or stressing about entertaining their kids, trying to get their head around school work, trying to work from home or just not being able to lean on grandparents for support.

I've honestly never been happier to not have kids than now. Me and my husband can happily go about our business and WFH in peace. It's a difficult time for everyone but we don't have the added stress of looking after children too, and that's our choice!

This. It really has confirmed our decision. As I said, even people I know who have wonderfully behaved kids are struggling and one has told us they are miserable and nostalgic for childless times which is sad. They don't have the help of daycare or grandparents that they normally have. Pairing looking after kids and wfh sounds tough. I have respect for the parents, I am just glad it isn't me.

 

[Lanie]

I have read comments on the childfree reddit page and most older people that are in their 50s or 60s with no children have zero regret. And many people with children do regret it but won't admit it publicly out of shame.

If I had a child and hated being a parent, I couldn't just return the child to the store. I wouldn't want to have a child and resent it because of a choice I made. Therefore, being CF is the better option for me.


I've always had a small family so that doesn't even bother me? I have one cousin on my mums side and my dad I am estranged from, although I speak to my grandparents and aunts from his side. My fiance has a very small family too. Our families are very spread out, one side in a different country and the other on the opposite side of North America. We don't spend a lot of time with them and always have Christmas just us and our dog which we love. Getting older, I don't think anything would change. We do have a niece and nephew so if they had kids, we would have those members too. But neither of us grew up in bustling family households so it is not something missing from our lives.

I have asked my friends before but only once and when they give me any answer. I have left it at that until they have felt the need to inform me other wise.

 

[Annie101]

I'm not able to have kids due to medical reasons. It was heartbreaking at first. Now - i feel a relief, my life is full, i have a demanding career, work long hours etc. I treat my younger employees as my kids, for example birthday parties, buying them gift, being there emotionally etc. A lot of them need the extra attention and love coming from dysfunctional families. There's a place for us without kids, to be parents to those who needs us. My selfish advantages are - travelling, being able to afford a nice home, shoes and a nearly drama free life. I appreciate my life now and wish i didnt take it so seriously when i heard that i am unable to have kids. Because i have a fulfilled life and am happy.

 

[Gers76]

Childfree for loads of reasons, not least that we don't have long before we will physically face an environmental catastrophe so why would anyone bring another life into the world to suffer that? Incredibly cruel.

Just stumbled into this thread and your post jumped out. Quite freaky reading that now

 

[Welsh1]

Something that also bothers me is when people say I'm selfish for not wanting a second child, as it's unfair to my son whose now 5. I know plenty of people who are the only child and it hasn't affected them. I did always say I wanted 2 children but I'm not financially ready enough to have a second, my career is going really well, my relationship is really strong and we love and adore our son. We're happy as we are. 2 of my friends are 36 and 38 and both are adamant they don't want children and that's fine.

 

[Al26]

I'm childfree (not by choice )
However this whole thing has made me relieved for the first time that I don't have kids.... Not because I think it would be stressful or difficult but because what a bloody awful, scary, uncertain time we live in. I wouldn't consider it selfish not wanting to bring more people in to this world.

 

[Satisfying Click]

Just bumping this thread to give a fist-bump of solidarity to the childless and childfree folk

If anything this lockdown has taught me that my decision not to have children is the right one, and having seen the selfish actions of many - the world is definitely not a place I want to bring a child into.

It has also made me address the things I've been avoiding - like making a will. I'm thinking about what I want to leave to my nieces and nephews and it gives me a lot of comfort knowing I can leave them a little something behind.

 

[ScorpioMoon]

Childless - not by choice - tried for 4 years for BabyScorpio and would have had IVF this year had Covid not got in the way, time is not on our side, so who knows what the future holds.

 

[it’s not been changed?!]

I’m finding it hard to come across any men who also don’t want children. Tbf, I’m only using apps at the moment, but it does say on my profile I don’t want children, however, I’m matching with men who have on their profile that they want kids

 

[working9-5]

I’m finding it hard to come across any men who also don’t want children. Tbf, I’m only using apps at the moment, but it does say on my profile I don’t want children, however, I’m matching with men who have on their profile that they want kids

Dating apps are just horrible full stop (well that’s been my experience any way).

 

[bubbletea123]

Dating apps are just horrible full stop (well that’s been my experience any way).

I met my fiance on Tinder. The good ones are rare but do exist.

 

[working9-5]

I met my fiance on Tinder. The good ones are rare but do exist.

I’ve lost faith and I live on a small island so have next to no chance
I do love a happy ending though so it’s nice to hear, thank you x

 

[julie_anne_80]

Anyone else childfree?

Childless = can't have children for whatever reason, could be medical, etc.

Childfree = someone that chooses not to have children.

I am an only child and have known since I was quite young that I didn't want children. It can be quite annoying as I am at that age where people are having kids, and people feel like it is their business to ask when I will have kids. There almost still seems to be a taboo against women who choose not to have children which is frustrating.

Let's keep this civil

I’m child free. Have known since 16/17... I turn 40 tomorrow and still haven’t changed my mind. I find most the time it’s other women that put me down and make comments and not men.

 

[working9-5]

I’m child free. Have known since 16/17... I turn 40 tomorrow and still haven’t changed my mind. I find most the time it’s other women that put me down and make comments and not men.

Happy Birthday for tomorrow. I hope you have something nice planned and lockdown isn’t too strict where you are.
I know what you mean, I find women far more judgmental - I think some find it a personal attack on their decision to want children

 

[julie_anne_80]

Happy Birthday for tomorrow. I hope you have something nice planned and lockdown isn’t too strict where you are.
I know what you mean, I find women far more judgmental - I think some find it a personal attack on their decision to want children

Thank you... I have cakes for tomorrow and just going to make a nice meal and watch old films. My period was due today but looks like Mother Nature is gifting me her presence on my birthday so will probably be hugging a hot water bottle all day, thank god I’ve got cakes