ive no children and im in my 40s now if it ever happens then it happens if it does not then i not going to be to cut up about it i have 2 friends one has 8 kids and the other has 6 so when i visit its like chaos in there houses screaming shouting crying fighting sometimes arguing etc when its time to leave and go back to my own pad the time cant come quickly enough to go back to my place and silence
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Thank you... I just took a look and it was fantastic to see someone who gets me
One of the things I love about her and that really bought it down for me is that: you are still a family without children. A friend of mine used to be a journalist and would *always* be expected to work Christmas because, "You don't have a family." She actually had a house full of parents, grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles and so on, waiting for her, but she was considered less worthy having not given birth to her own
Yes that is lovely about the family thing. My husband and dogs are the best family ever. I think it is terrible what happened to your friend. Hopefully she has a better job now. I love this because I get it all the time
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I read this is quite common with people who do not have children. They are expected to work the holidays, etc, because they do not have "family." My spouse's boss also has no children and lives the dream with a second home that they go away to...that is what we aspire to be like. Hahaha. We want to buy a condo in California and we couldn't do that if we had a child.Yes that is lovely about the family thing. My husband and dogs are the best family ever. I think it is terrible what happened to your friend. Hopefully she has a better job now. I love this because I get it all the time
Another thing that people do that annoys me is when you have a big house and they make comments. We have a 2400 sqft house, which has 3 spare bedrooms. We get comments such as "why do you have such a big house without kids?", "what do you need all that space for?" etc, and we are always like "because we can." It really isn't anyone's business. I have also heard comments that it is selfish for childfree people to build close to a school because that takes away from a family with kids. People just feel so entitled to say whatever they want, it is incredibly rude.
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We've had a reverse of that 
'Won't you need a bigger place with a garden?' We have a 2 bedroom flat in a nice part of town and cool things to do nearby.
'Don't you need a bigger car?' Nope, happy with our two-seater
'Won't you need a bigger place with a garden?' We have a 2 bedroom flat in a nice part of town and cool things to do nearby.
'Don't you need a bigger car?' Nope, happy with our two-seater
This is very much how I am feeling. This pandemic has confirmed that I want to stay childfree. All of our friends with children right now are frazzled, between working from home and having to look after/home school their kids. My SIL who is typically relaxed and has well behaved kids is miserable. I have also seen people with children saying how they are nostalgic for the days that they were childless.
I can barely handle my own emotions while in lockdown, I couldn't imagine having a child too. My SO is working from home during the day and can do it in peace. We have our dog but he sleeps most of the time. Also as an introvert, I couldn't imagine much worse than being in a house with kids 24/7.
I am hoping that people with children who normally ask childfree folks why they don't have or want children will now stop asking! If someone asks me, my reply will be: the pandemic. I had peace and quiet and it confirmed my decision. Lol.
I can barely handle my own emotions while in lockdown, I couldn't imagine having a child too. My SO is working from home during the day and can do it in peace. We have our dog but he sleeps most of the time. Also as an introvert, I couldn't imagine much worse than being in a house with kids 24/7.
I am hoping that people with children who normally ask childfree folks why they don't have or want children will now stop asking! If someone asks me, my reply will be: the pandemic. I had peace and quiet and it confirmed my decision. Lol.
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I’m almost 40, single and have never wanted children. Love my nieces and nephew to bits but just don’t want my own. I’d be happy with getting a dog 
I'm 22 and I still feel so confused about whether I want kids or not I go through times when I 100% don't and then I think it would actually be great to have a wee family. I have friends with kids and i just love watching them grow up they are so lovely. I don't know if it's because I had a bad childhood (abusive home, then I went into foster care) it puts me off because my "mum" was so awful to me I even just hate the word mum and it freaks me out a bit just thinking if I had kids I'd hear that word everyday. Sounds silly but I struggle every mothers day because of it. Also I have mental health issues and scared that I wouldn't cope etc, but I know there's plenty mums out there that do too and are wonderful parents. It's still difficult to know really but I feel like I should know by now and not be changing my mind every month 
Erm no you shouldn’t know by now, not at age 22, you don’t even need to be thinking about having kids yet especially with everything you have gone through, just take a lot of time to concentrate on getting your mental health to a good place and making sure you have stability in your life before you even start to think about kids xI'm 22 and I still feel so confused about whether I want kids or not I go through times when I 100% don't and then I think it would actually be great to have a wee family. I have friends with kids and i just love watching them grow up they are so lovely. I don't know if it's because I had a bad childhood (abusive home, then I went into foster care) it puts me off because my "mum" was so awful to me I even just hate the word mum and it freaks me out a bit just thinking if I had kids I'd hear that word everyday. Sounds silly but I struggle every mothers day because of it. Also I have mental health issues and scared that I wouldn't cope etc, but I know there's plenty mums out there that do too and are wonderful parents. It's still difficult to know really but I feel like I should know by now and not be changing my mind every month
Yeah I 100% would make sure I felt I was ready and in a stable position. Even if i did want children i know it still wouldnt be for years but I still wish I just knew what wanted so I could look forward to it or just know that it's not the right thing for me. I just feel like most people know by now that they cant wait to have kids or they are absolutely sure they dont want them. Its tiring changing my mind all the time but I know I'm still young and have years to work out whats right for me x
Honestly, they aren't. I'm 31. Im 99.9% sure I don't want kids because I have no desire, but up till I was about 29 I thought I'd get broody in my early 30s but it hasn't happened and I can't see it happening either. Please don't stress out about having it all figured out. Concentrate on you. You have years and years ahead of you. Don't worry about pidgeon holing ourself now xxxxxxx
Love this thread.
I'm child free and relationship free too. Never wanted either.
Honestly the thought of having a child is one of the most unappealing things to me. First the pregnancy (if you go that route), then years of no sleep, always being alert that they're not injuring themselves, not being able to go anywhere, always having to think of that little person, then the constant worry about if they're safe. Then eventually they'll leave home and the sense of 'now what?' will come in.
I've never been told it's selfish and I'm sorry that some of you have. That really is such a stupid thing to say. If anything it's selfish to have children because at the heart of it, you want a child for your own happiness, or to have a mini version of yourself.
I'm child free and relationship free too. Never wanted either.
Honestly the thought of having a child is one of the most unappealing things to me. First the pregnancy (if you go that route), then years of no sleep, always being alert that they're not injuring themselves, not being able to go anywhere, always having to think of that little person, then the constant worry about if they're safe. Then eventually they'll leave home and the sense of 'now what?' will come in.
I've never been told it's selfish and I'm sorry that some of you have. That really is such a stupid thing to say. If anything it's selfish to have children because at the heart of it, you want a child for your own happiness, or to have a mini version of yourself.
I didn’t decide I wanted children until I was 33, up until my 30s I really did not want them, and then I was undecided for a year or so and then I just felt the tick tick tick of the biological clock and it was like my body craved a child and it was literally all I could think about day and night, pregnancy announcements were killing me even before I started ttc I felt like crying everytime I saw one that’s how I knew I did really want to have a baby, I was 34 when I had my baby, there really is plenty of time, it is not something to go into lightly though and if you have any major doubts then do not do it as it tests the patience and sanity of even the most saintly people lol, it is hard on your body, you will be exhausted, you will feel stressed, depressed, you will worry like never before, and the worrying never stops, you will constantly question if you are doing a good job or not, but it truly is a life changing and life affirming experience too and there is nothing else in the world which compares to seeing your baby smile, and the single most important thing in your world becomes whether your child is happy, your own happiness becomes secondary
Having said all that, i have friends who are both childless, and child free and I have full respect for their choices and lifestyles, I do not consider my life or their life to be ‘better’ or more meaningful, I 100% believe you make the most of the life you’ve been given and the choices you made, if you’ve chosen to be child free embrace it and live an amazing life, if you’ve chosen children then stand by that decision and cherish every moment with them and be the best parent you can, find the joy in whatever life you have ended up with!
Having said all that, i have friends who are both childless, and child free and I have full respect for their choices and lifestyles, I do not consider my life or their life to be ‘better’ or more meaningful, I 100% believe you make the most of the life you’ve been given and the choices you made, if you’ve chosen to be child free embrace it and live an amazing life, if you’ve chosen children then stand by that decision and cherish every moment with them and be the best parent you can, find the joy in whatever life you have ended up with!
This is like me going into a parenting thread telling you how a child would ruin you life.
And these are the kind of comments that annoy me, lol (the one you quoted). It is so condescending. I hate the whole "nothing compares to the love you have for a child" bull. I've had people say that to me and it's so irritating. Of course nothing compares because once you have a baby, your brain releases a lot of oxytocin so you love and bond with your baby. Many people who have ppd have low amounts of oxytocin released.This is like me going into a parenting thread telling you how a child would ruin you life.
In fact, studies show that pet owners release oxytocin when interacting and looking after their pets...so yes, I do know what it feels like.
Chemistry Between People and Dogs Is Real, Thanks to Oxytocin
Oxytocin’s not just for baby-parent bonding, it’s also for dog-parent bonding.
thebark.com
I have 1 child - we weren’t really sure whether we were going to have kids or not. He was sort of unplanned but we weren’t using contraception and we were happy about it.
I LOVED being pregnant. I just loved all of it - but I had a completely easy, stress free pregnancy. I adore my little lad, he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. But I think we also could have been just as happy without him. It’s just a different life.. no better no worse. And it is bloody hard, makes everything else I’ve ever done seem like a walk in the park. He’s nearly 1 and I’ve had less full night sleeps than I can count on one hand.
And we’re certainly not in a hurry for anymore!!
I LOVED being pregnant. I just loved all of it - but I had a completely easy, stress free pregnancy. I adore my little lad, he’s the best thing to ever happen to me. But I think we also could have been just as happy without him. It’s just a different life.. no better no worse. And it is bloody hard, makes everything else I’ve ever done seem like a walk in the park. He’s nearly 1 and I’ve had less full night sleeps than I can count on one hand.
And we’re certainly not in a hurry for anymore!!
Well that would be fine as I really don’t care too much about a strangers opinion on the internet lolThis is like me going into a parenting thread telling you how a child would ruin you life.
Yet you are here talking to strangers on the internet. I wasn’t having a go, but know your audience. You clearly said you found it hard when you were trying to conceive, so you don’t know if people reading your comments feel the same pain as you did.Well that would be fine as I really don’t care too much about a strangers opinion on the internet lol
I think there are judgemental opinions happening here on both sides.
If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.
I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.
For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!
But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.
We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.
Peace out folks
If you're happily childfree, why feel the need to come and wax lyrical about it? Smile smugly when you get catty comments from people, and go and live your life quietly on your own.
I don't think now is the time to really be debating something which in truth, is not a priority for most people right now.
For what it's worth, I am working from home with 3 kids on my own (other half is a very important key worker). Am I frazzled? Yes. Am I laughing heartily at all the frazzled parent memes? Yes. Do I look forward to our 90 mins outdoor exercise, followed by dinner, bedtime and WINE? YES!
But can I think of anything more dull than sitting in my quiet house, watching Netflix, having a nice run and then a sit down all day.... For weeks.... Or months..... No. I can't.
We all make our choices, if not wanting to be tired or stressed sometimes is what stops you from having kids then great, it's obviously not for you. But own that decision and live your life accordingly. Threads which end up as catty as this one aren't right.
Peace out folks
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