I would most certainly be dead if I produced another teenage me
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Probably best to speak to your doctor about that, it might depend on your age and general health as to whether they'll do it.
Is sterilisation easier in the countries that you live in guys?
I asked my doctor in France and she said no. It is so hard to get it done even though it is free (fully taken care by our health insurance system). The law allows women without kids do to it on paper but doctors refuse to do it because it is irreversible.
I think generally the preference is for the man to have a vasectomy as it can be undone, I canāt say Iāve heard people being successful in the uk especially when they are young, but perhaps if you are willing to pay privately you might find a surgeon here.
Same! mine used to say stuff like that all the time. I was a very difficult child and teen which is partly why I donāt want kids because they would probably take after me and be little shits
Yep! My husband was apparently a little hole too. I shudder when I think of a kid with our worst qualities, lmao.Same! mine used to say stuff like that all the time. I was a very difficult child and teen which is partly why I donāt want kids because they would probably take after me and be little shits
Itās not easy in the UK at all.
Apparently it is easier to be sterilised in the US, but still a long road of having to convince doctors that you really, really will not change your mind.
So incredibly frustrating.
One time i threw a tantrum when in the supermarket with my mum and she actually did what the lady did in that advert( many may years before the advert) and lay on the floor and started screaming too. She said i soon just up and walked on.I remember having a massive tantrum in the middle of a theme park when I was a kid and my dad dragged me back to the car and we went home immediately... These days you hear parents trying to reason with their kids or threatening to go home but never following through (I suppose when you've spent Ā£100+ on a day out you're hardly going to go home after 10 minutes). But I'll never forget feeling absolutely mortified that we had to go home and that my dad made a scene (though I was probably making a bigger scene
We're having a few days away at the moment and we're staying on a caravan site so there are lots of families around. I've really noticed that parents just don't keep a proper eye on their kids... Toddlers toddling about not holding hands and wandering into the path of strangers who then have to do a little dance around them to avoid knocking them over. When parents notice, they don't try and guide them back in the right direction they just laugh and leave them trailing behind. I've seen more than one run into the road, then when their parent runs after them they think it's a game and run even further!
Haha I like your mum!
Haha that's class, if I do end up having kids I need to remember this tip.
I went shopping yesterday without my headphones and whenever I do that, I get so annoyed by kids making noise. Is it bad that this is the main reason why having kids scares me?
I just hate unnecessary noise so much and kids have to just constantly screech, shout, sing. Don't think I could handle that day in day outI donāt think there is any reason that is ābadā for not having kids.
I was actually having this chat the other day. I donāt think you need to have a ābigā reason, like over population. If you just canāt deal with the noise or the mess or the school gate politics, thatās perfectly ok.
I happily tell people I donāt want kids because I donāt want them to mess up my tidy house and ruin my nice things! Really it is deeper than that and I have many reasons, but I like breaking the taboo and seeing peopleās reactions, because most people seem to think you need to have a worthy reason to opt out of parenthood.
I was actually having this chat the other day. I donāt think you need to have a ābigā reason, like over population. If you just canāt deal with the noise or the mess or the school gate politics, thatās perfectly ok.
I happily tell people I donāt want kids because I donāt want them to mess up my tidy house and ruin my nice things! Really it is deeper than that and I have many reasons, but I like breaking the taboo and seeing peopleās reactions, because most people seem to think you need to have a worthy reason to opt out of parenthood.
Definitely. I think this is a good example too of the 'No is a whole sentence' idea. Ultimately, if someone asks if you want children/are you planning on having children, unless they are your intimate partner then you shouldn't have to give a big reason. "No" is suffice. No one expects a big reason if you reply Yes.
One thing I'm getting sick of recently is, aside from my MIL badgering me about children (she is determined is wholly my decision) she has now started asking other family members of mine about why I don't want kids as well? Maybe I should start asking around about her alcoholism to show how annoying it is discussing other people and their personal affairs.
I actively say I donāt like kids always thought I would have some but right now I cannot think of anything worse than some snotty annoying kid messing about in my house and having to look after it. Iām sure Iād feel different it it was actually here but I have enough trouble with my cats and their antics!
always thought I would have some but right now I cannot think of anything worse than some snotty annoying kid messing about in my house and having to look after it. Iām sure Iād feel different it it was actually here but I have enough trouble with my cats and their antics!For sure! I have three cats and some days I'd swap them all for a nice, quiet turtle.I actively say I donāt like kids
My friend once told me she thought I'd have made a great mum because of how good I am with animals. Yeah, animals don't usually have sticky hands and talk incessantly and it doesn't matter if I want to leave the house without them or swear at them....
ETA I just called my youngest cat fkng witch for biting her brother. (They are real siblings, btw)
When I was younger I always assumed I would get married, have a couple of kids because that was what you did. My mum did and all the women in my life did. I never had a strong yearning for kids even when I was younger. My best friend knew from a very early age how many kids she wanted and mapped her life out accordingly.I actively say I donāt like kids
But I didn't have a proper relationship until my late 20s, by which time I'd got used to my lifestyle, having money, nice holidays etc and I still never had that urge to have a baby. My friends had kids and I was never broody. My partner doesn't want kids either which is a bonus because I think if he did, I would have given in to make him happy but I know it's not what I'd have wanted. Similarly, I think if I'd met someone when I was younger I might have had kids because it was the thing to do and I wasn't confident enough in myself to challenge convention.
I know for sure I donāt want kids. For lots of reasons, but mainly I know I wouldnāt be a good mum, and I donāt want it enough, I donāt think itās fair to have a child that isnāt wanted.
But I love being an auntie, I get on really well with kids, and when I hold a baby I get this longing maternal feeling, if that makes sense. Itās so weird, its like the force of evolution or something, because my rational brain knows I couldnāt cope with it all.
Iām very glad about my choice, but to be honest sometimes it breaks my heart. Does anyone else get that? Either way its really nice to read this thread, I appreciate everyoneās honesty.
But I love being an auntie, I get on really well with kids, and when I hold a baby I get this longing maternal feeling, if that makes sense. Itās so weird, its like the force of evolution or something, because my rational brain knows I couldnāt cope with it all.
Iām very glad about my choice, but to be honest sometimes it breaks my heart. Does anyone else get that? Either way its really nice to read this thread, I appreciate everyoneās honesty.
In a similar way Sidey (but different) because a lot of my reason to not have children is because of climate change, I am angry sometimes that I am of the age where I'm too young to just have had kids and it not really been a factor at all (give or take if I had had them when I was in my early 20s) and too old to wait and see because something radical might change and we might end up in a green utopia where I can merrily have a couple of kids and them live their best lifeI really don't think that will happen but girl can dream for the sake of others . I do think it is subconscious reason why I avoid babies - I haven't yet had that maternal rush when holding a baby but I'm worried it will now happen and my head and heart will be in conflict (even temporarily)
Other factors over the years have developed that mean I don't want children anyway but from my teens up to 2018 I used to daydream about my future a lot and it always involved kids even though I didn't feel ready or sure. They partially faded when I realised that life wasn't for me, and partially faded when I didn't like what I saw for my own future let alone theirs.
I get you. I canāt say my choice breaks my heart ever, but I definitely donāt hate kids and love being an auntie and having a cuddle with a baby. I am a naturally maternal woman and people in my life are shocked I donāt want kids.
The thing is though, if I ever do feel a tiny inkling of maternal feeling, it ALWAYS disappears effortlessly and happily when I think about the reality of having a child. All I have to do is imagine Iām pregnant and reality sets in, and I know itās not what I want.
This will probably sound a bit crazy, but for me, itās very similar to how I always thought Iād make a decent doctor, but the intense schooling, years of training, the long hours, the unappreciative patients etc all make me realise I donāt want to be a doctor really, or at least not enough to put up with all of that.
I know we've chosen to travel during the school holidays, but squealing toddlers in the lounge 
I deliberately went to the lounge that doesn't have the play area too. Thank goodness for noise cancelling headphones 
I deliberately went to the lounge that doesn't have the play area too. Thank goodness for noise cancelling headphones The idea of having my organs crushed, gaining weight and having my feet all swollen is one of my concerns.
I don't have the body of a model but I can't imagine sharing it another human being. Can we also talk about how mothers are body shamed for not bouncing back to their previous body?
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