Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[shadowcat5]

The entitlement of bringing kids to a wedding they're not invited to astounds me. Weddings cost so much damn money!! I don't agree with bringing kids to anything if they aren't invited obviously, but bringing your kid to a wedding that likely cost absolute thousands and took months to plan is insane.

People have some obsession that their kids are loved by other people and an extension of themselves.

Unless you are specifically invited you don’t go, no exception for kids. If I was the bride I would be fuming.

The Op of the post also commented later on that they found out because this woman sent a video of her kids saying how excited they were for the weekend which imo, is worse (and manipulative af!) because when you inevitably say 'kids are not invited', you're the one breaking the kids hearts because they were excited to come along.

 

[Norfolking Good]

Apparently when my folks got married in the mid 1970s they had a childfree wedding which was quite unusual at the time I think and someone racked up with a newborn. They then insisted they needed to breastfeed the baby in the room for the reception so everyone had to wait outside until they were finished. Balls of steel to keep the bride and groom waiting at their wedding, my mum is still steaming about it 45+ years later

 

[Anne1448]

Apparently when my folks got married in the mid 1970s they had a childfree wedding which was quite unusual at the time I think and someone racked up with a newborn. They then insisted they needed to breastfeed the baby in the room for the reception so everyone had to wait outside until they were finished. Balls of steel to keep the bride and groom waiting at their wedding, my mum is still steaming about it 45+ years later

I laughed way too hard at this

I always thought that I was confident but being able to kick people out of their own wedding is on another level

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Think I’ll stick with my horse

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Mild tangent, but just reading about that vile misogynist who has been arrested and I went down a rabbit hole of reading how its influenced a lot of young boys attitudes towards women.

i know this isn’t a new problem, there’s been hate towards women for centuries, from different countries and cultures and honestly it makes me fearful as a woman a lot of the time.

I hate how we can be objectified, treated like dirt on a shoe, told that our place is having babies and cooking for our husband. That our bodies aren’t own. It makes me feel sick. I already fear going so many places alone.

im lucky to be married to a good man who respects me, but it’s scary how many men out there would do me harm if they got the chance, all because I’m female.

I couldn’t imagine bringing a child into this world. I couldn’t imagine having a daughter and her growing up to feel the fear and hate I’ve felt in my short 27 years. It’s sickening.

 

[Millyhex]

I’m 26 and if my younger sister is out late I get so incredibly worried about her safety and she is 23! I couldn’t imagine having a daughter, I would never feel comfortable letting her out of my sight

 

[Satisfying Click]

Totally agree, this is also one of the other reasons I'm relieved not to have children. I'd be anxious about having a son and ensuring he'd not fall foul of these awful influential men. I'd be terrified if I had a daughter.

I was lucky that I married a man who doesn't see me as a housekeeper, but I know so many 'modern men' who reveal their 1950s father archetype - and it's not until after the children arrive that this manifests.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Totally agree, this is also one of the other reasons I'm relieved not to have children. I'd be anxious about having a son and ensuring he'd not fall foul of these awful influential men. I'd be terrified if I had a daughter.

I was lucky that I married a man who doesn't see me as a housekeeper, but I know so many 'modern men' who reveal their 1950s father archetype - and it's not until after the children arrive that this manifests.

Yes having a son and being scared of how they’d turn out is the other side of it. I can’t imagine how horrified I’d be if I had a son and he turned out to be the sort to commit crimes against women.

i don’t think it’s always parenting either. My ex had a relatively normal upbringing, but he’s a stalker.

He makes fake accounts online and sends girls between 16-18 years old messages like “I know you’re waiting for the bus and I know you’re wearing a green coat”. He even used to message women he worked with off fake accounts telling them he was sat in their workplace (McDonald’s) watching them…

He once messaged my elder half sister from a fake account saying he knew where she lived and if she didn’t send naked pictures then he would break into her flat.

One of his ex’s said she woke up and he was having sex with her while she was asleep.

he never did much to me, apart from cheat, thankfully. I had a lucky escape… he now has two sons with two different 18 year olds (he’s 28).

 

[Anne1448]

I was lucky that I married a man who doesn't see me as a housekeeper, but I know so many 'modern men' who reveal their 1950s father archetype - and it's not until after the children arrive that this manifests.

I don't know if I brought this up in this thread but I went on a trip in a childfree hotel with my ex.

Turns out, the guy who kept bragging about being a feminist could never cook, fold his clothes nor clean after himself. Since I was raised with men who always did housework I didn’t touch a single thing for him. Miss me with that 1950s bullshit.

After breaking up with the guy, one of my male friend said "He was simply training you to get used to do it for him". Since his mother is a stay at home mom he was used to her doing everything.

His parents did him such a disservice

 

[Awkward_Somber]

We're having a childfree wedding and pretty happy about it. A few reasons but it's not a very child friendly venue (our caterers looked delighted when we told them ). My nephews are coming but as most of the other people with kids have had them during lockdown or over the past few years we've never even met them! A few of the couples with kids are thrilled to have an excuse to go out without them!

We've also found a hotel for a mini honeymoon after our wedding that is childfree. They don't allow kids under 16 as it doesn't for with their vision and ethos for the hotel! Cannot wait!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

We're having a childfree wedding and pretty happy about it. A few reasons but it's not a very child friendly venue (our caterers looked delighted when we told them ). My nephews are coming but as most of the other people with kids have had them during lockdown or over the past few years we've never even met them! A few of the couples with kids are thrilled to have an excuse to go out without them!

We've also found a hotel for a mini honeymoon after our wedding that is childfree. They don't allow kids under 16 as it doesn't for with their vision and ethos for the hotel! Cannot wait!

We didn’t invite any children to our ceremony & no one brought children to the reception either.

it was actually a really relaxed and enjoyable day with no children there at all and we were glad no one decided to bring them in the evening either.

Kids make everything about them, but at my wedding all the adults were having the best time dancing away on the dance floor and it was a really special night.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

We had a pretty small wedding (most of my husband's friends/family are in the USA) and the only children really there were our own nephews, nieces, little cousins etc. and his stepbrother and sister who are pre-teens and can behave themselves. We were happy with that because those children were family and we wanted them there, but I can't imagine a wedding with a ton of guests' children who are complete strangers to me running around ...

 

[Hellacopters]

When my colleague announced to her husband that she wants a divorce his first reaction (and I kid you not) was: "But who will do my laundry then?!"

Some of these men

 

[TheGlossy]

In my previous role, one male manager asked me if I had children and I said “no”. Then my direct manager interjected and said “You don’t, but some day you will”. Then I said “That’s not the topic of this conversation” and gave him the side eye. Then he apologized and said he didn’t know why he said that.

Some men out there still think all women want children.

On the topic of children not being invited to weddings. It’s obviously a right of the future spouses not to invite children, but if I were a parent, I’d be slightly offended. I wouldn’t show up with my children though, I simply would decline attending.

 

[shadowcat5]

In my previous role, one male manager asked me if I had children and I said “no”. Then my direct manager interjected and said “You don’t, but some day you will”. Then I said “That’s not the topic of this conversation” and gave him the side eye. Then he apologized and said he didn’t know why he said that.

Some men out there still think all women want children.

On the topic of children not being invited to weddings. It’s obviously a right of the future spouses not to invite children, but if I were a parent, I’d be slightly offended. I wouldn’t show up with my children though, I simply would decline attending.

out of interest, why would you be offended?

 

[mediocrehouseplant]

out of interest, why would you be offended?

Right? My colleagues who share an 18-month-old were thrilled to be invited to a child-free wedding. They had a great time while their little one had a lovely weekend with his nanna.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

In my previous role, one male manager asked me if I had children and I said “no”. Then my direct manager interjected and said “You don’t, but some day you will”. Then I said “That’s not the topic of this conversation” and gave him the side eye. Then he apologized and said he didn’t know why he said that.

Some men out there still think all women want children.

On the topic of children not being invited to weddings. It’s obviously a right of the future spouses not to invite children, but if I were a parent, I’d be slightly offended. I wouldn’t show up with my children though, I simply would decline attending.

I personally wouldn’t have a childfree wedding but it doesn’t affect me as I’m childfree, it’s up to the couple and lots of parents love them so it’s not my business. The couple need to realise that means some people won’t be able to attend and parents need to realise that people can’t always include children in their weddings for various reasons, so it is sad when it causes issues.

 

[TheGlossy]

out of interest, why would you be offended?

I think it’s a) not all parents have the ability to get someone to look after the children while they’re attending the wedding; b) if you know I have children and we’re close, I simply find it rude; c) as a parent, disregarding my child as if they’re an inconvenience in your perfect wedding landscape is not right.

I’d rather not attend.

I know children are sometimes unruly and can ruin the atmosphere, but that’s just my perspective. I reiterate, I don’t have children.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

In my previous role, one male manager asked me if I had children and I said “no”. Then my direct manager interjected and said “You don’t, but some day you will”. Then I said “That’s not the topic of this conversation” and gave him the side eye. Then he apologized and said he didn’t know why he said that.

Some men out there still think all women want children.

On the topic of children not being invited to weddings. It’s obviously a right of the future spouses not to invite children, but if I were a parent, I’d be slightly offended. I wouldn’t show up with my children though, I simply would decline attending.

My attitude was that it’s OUR wedding, WE were paying and if WE didn’t want kids then we weren’t having kids! Our wedding, our choice! When the guests pay then they get to choose! And honestly I wouldn’t have cared less if people hadn’t have come because I’d said no kids!
I’m a really shy person and I wouldn’t want to be worrying about some kids embarrassing me and ruining OUR wedding!

to be honest though, the only person at the ceremony who had kids was my maid of honour and she was happy to not have to put up with her two year old all day!

 

[judgejohndeed]

I find it very weird when people are offended that their kids aren’t invited to weddings tbh. You don’t expect an invite for the whole family at any other kind of event, weddings are very expensive, and not all weddings are even suitable for kids. If you can’t get childcare for some reason then fair enough, but if you only choose to go places where your kids can follow you like a shadow that’s just odd to me/probably not someone I’d be inviting to my wedding anyway