Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[SarcasticEllis]

Completely get this! I hate the new trend of influencers complaining about birth and their children (it’s called labour for a reason, it’s never going to be easy! ) being a parent is full on but it’s definitely not all bad if you’re prepared. Theres definitely pros to both ways of life! You're welcome on the thread anytime!

that’s cos loads of influencers have been conned by hypnobirthing devotees (or had classes gifted etc etc) and the rest not to use ‘labour’ and such language and think of ‘surges’ and ‘breathing baby out’. Oh and ignore people who try to forewarn or inform. Then when it transpires it’s not really that type of predictable, ‘you got this, boss babe!’ process, bubble burst and anger/indignation all round!
you wouldn’t use that type of shit for any other op would you “you got this gall bladder removal, babe! Go smash it!!”

 

[ElectricDreams]

I'm n

I did the classic british thing of being annoyed but too polite to say anything.

Also not going to lie, I felt a bit bad for the kid. It was stressing me out just listening to it and it wasn't my sandwich
His mum and dad kept asking him if he wanted different things at the same time and he kept pointing at stuff and they'd say 'no you can't have that, do you want xyz?' Then they settled on chicken so then they kept asking if he wanted cheese but then the kid would point to something else he wanted so they'd go 'no you can't have that, do you want cheese?' It was just a disaster. Not the kid's fault obviously.

Although I'm still not sure a 3 and 6 year old are going to eat a whole 6inch sub either given I'm 26 and struggle. I don't think they bothered looking at the menu for the kids meals.

From what I've learnt about kids over the years I'd have never given him the choice... Chicken or cheese or nothing at all!

 

[whocarez]

Yep! Sorry I’m too busy enjoying my cocktail while I’ll laze around an adults only hotel pool in Spain

oooh can I join u

 

[lastdis]

no offence at all, but don’t you think we are well aware of what people on both sides of the childfree “debate” () say already? i mean, we have multiple threads on the topic and many shared experiences

I didn’t after my friend went yeah yeah I just thought I’d share it. anyways a week or so ago I said if I ever offended anyone I would just stop posting, and the last thing I wanted was to offend anyone, if you looked at my past posts on this thread it was never what I wanted. Hope you all have a lovely holiday xx

 

[LaBlonde]

That Midsommar analogy is SO on point Makes me want to jump in a bear suit and throw a match

I’m so jealous of your Vegas trip, can’t wait to hear all about it after! Make sure you visit the GP start line and graffiti our names in a love heart with PG and CL 🥹

girl, you KNOW i will - keep an eye out for it i’m hoping there’s already gonna be some kind of f1 store there so i can bankrupt myself.

 

[Codiaeum]

and here's me, I love the Baby advice thread for reading, even though I don't have kids, but the thread is hilarious and the people seem lovely (and I will now admit that I'm actually starting to think that maybe a kid wouldn't be so bad. I still dislike the martyr mum that Instagram tries to push on me for no reason at all, but it doesn't mean that every mum is like that. I know loads of lovely mums who aren't at all like that!)

 

[peachesandcreamz]

I wish maternity was full pay for 9 months. Unless you have a very generous employer you're looking at a month to 6 weeks full pay tops. Then 50% pay for a few months then stat which is £143 a week or similar.

It's one of the main reasons I have chosen to be child free i can't afford to have a child despite having an above average salary.

My company offer full pay for 6 months, then it drops to half! I work in finance so lots of very generous benefits.

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Ugh, I got into a debate with my manager’s manager about how one of the (many) reasons I don’t want kids is that it’s sexist from start to finish - the woman has to go through massive physical trauma, always seems to develop a stronger bond with the kid because of 1 year v.s. 2 weeks maternity leave and breastfeeding, and usually seems to end up the primary caregiver and sacrificing their career more. For example I know dozens of women part time, who gave up work or never worked, with rubbish pensions and no promotion in 10 years. Every big company has a senior board of mainly old men. I don’t know any men who work part time or don’t work at all. I know dozens of women who run themselves ragged while their husbands are deadbeat dads who spend more time at work, with the lads and pick up new weekend hobbies. He basically said it’s a figment of my imagination, I’m projecting my own emotional damage from my bad parents (fucking rude) and it’s “their choice” to go part time and for his wife it “made sense”. Yes but if that choice is driven partly by hormones, societal messaging and expected gender roles then it’s not much of a choice is it? Like when people say it’s their choice to get lip filler - it is, but if you lived in a society that didn’t place a woman’s value on looks and didn’t constantly bombard you with messages saying thin lips are ugly/mean/a problem to fix, you likely would not have made that choice. Choices aren’t made in a vacuum.

Nice to be mansplained by an old white man that sexism doesn’t exist and I’ve made it up!

Oh and on breastfeeding and women being tied to the baby, he said it’s fine because you can pump if you want to go out. Using a machine to suck out bodily fluid from yourself so you can go to a party for a few hours, while your partner can live exactly how they were before? I’m sorry but I’m going to give all that a swerve. Maybe I should have been born as a man lol, these things you’re expected to do as a woman and “get on with” (like ripping your vagina in half without pain relief in order to become a carer) just sound horrendous to me.

Some women can’t pump, some babies won’t take a bottle

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

Yep! I’ve had it said before I’m spoilt over tiny things though like a cup of coffee - I’m spoilt for having the time/being able to drink it hot, spoilt for having a bath with a bath bomb in it which would be a waste ‘for mums’ because they only get 5 minute baths etc.

Where are you all apparently finding these mums?! Haha. I absolutely enjoy a bubble bath once baby is in bed and often have a hot coffee in the morning while he has breakfast. I also have an abundant supply of various hair bobbles.

Different life choices don’t mean you have to have so much hate towards people who live life differently to you. If you’re child free by choice I think that’s a great decision! It would be boring if everyone were the same. We’re all humans making the best of our lives so let’s co exist happily without all the animosity. Peace out

 

[peachesandcreamz]

There’s a single by choice thread on here somewhere as well!

Perfect, thank you!!

 

[mcfeez]

Yep, I 100% agree with that. My most recent employer was really good about that, actually.

My current place isn't too bad either but there is still a slightly subtle undertone of favouritism towards parents.

Ive mentioned it before I think on here, but I take my leave at times of year when it's often cheaper to travel, like many childfree folk. Our company workload naturally slows for certain periods due to lots of parents time off ie Easter, mid July. My boss went off on one once about how I wasn't taking my leave at 'normal' times of year like 'everyone else' . Thankfully nothing else ever came of it but it made me self conscious for a bit about booking for example, 2 weeks off in September or January.

 

[DaisyDaisy87]

and here's me, I love the Baby advice thread for reading, even though I don't have kids, but the thread is hilarious and the people seem lovely (and I will now admit that I'm actually starting to think that maybe a kid wouldn't be so bad. I still dislike the martyr mum that Instagram tries to push on me for no reason at all, but it doesn't mean that every mum is like that. I know loads of lovely mums who aren't at all like that!)

Completely get this! I hate the new trend of influencers complaining about birth and their children (it’s called labour for a reason, it’s never going to be easy! ) being a parent is full on but it’s definitely not all bad if you’re prepared. Theres definitely pros to both ways of life! You're welcome on the thread anytime!

 

[Saddlesoap]

Layers, lots of layers. Well insulated houses and driving everywhere . I am lucky to live in a dry climate and not a humid so even that temp is bearable if dressed correctly. It doesn't go through to the bones the same way humid cold does. I always tell my British family that I would pick a dry climate, sunny -20 day here over a damp, cloudy 0* day in the uk.

Where are you, it you don't mind answering? I'm thinking Baltic's or Canada?

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

not child related but it always baffles me when I see people from school who were absolute demons go into jobs that involve some kind of caring like nurses or teachers

Yeah that’s another weird one isn’t it. A few people I used to go to school with were total nasty bullies and now they work in caring roles. I hope they are more caring than they used to be.

A girl I went to uni with was adamant she was going to move abroad, never marry of have kids. She has two and is married living in the UK.

Christ, a bit of a turn around!

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

Yes! Especially when it's like a lot of option. I get overwhelmed with choices sometimes (perks of veganism is that there is only a few for me now) but a kid doesn't even know what half the stuff is in those tray things. They don't know what they fancy, they're just pointing at anything.

I also used to work at mcdonald's and the worst was when a grandparent who had quite obviously never been to mcdonald's before would bring the kid and I would have to try to decipher what they were asking for morse code style because the kid had a funny word for the thing they wanted. I absolutely did not get paid enough to stand there, queue forming, screen filling up, trying to figure out that the kid wanted fish fingers because they called them pingies and grandma didn't know what that meant. I have got the rage again just thinking about it

Yeah exactly. It’s annoying when grown adults do it as well “oo what bread? Hmm? What are my options?” Just fuck off and choose what you want!

McDonald’s was the worst. I swear that place put me off kids for life! I used to get kids kicking off because we didn’t do smoothies with happy meals and all sorts of stupid stuff like that. One girl started kicking and head butting the counter and the mum did nothing!

I actually had a kid spill a drink once and they got on the floor to clean it and the mum shouted at them and told them that the cleaner would do it. Kids like that don’t stand a chance of being decent when they’ve got parents like that!

 

[GBNI]

it’s sad how many happily childfree women are depicted in tv/films. there’s always that old trope of “oh she thought she didn’t want children until she met the right person”.

i did stop watching some time ago so this sadly may have changed but i remember christina in gray’s anatomy really being strongly childfree and sticking to her guns on that. i hope that remained the case! and of course samantha in satc.

Penny in Big Bang Theory too and Bernadette to a lesser extent as well.

 

[shadowcat5]

Me and my husband do the same! We are members, it’s a lovely place for a walk & a picnic and then we sometimes go to Cheshire oaks after for a meal!

We’ve been slagged off loads for it. I don’t think kids appreciate zoos personally!

I love Cheshire Oaks and I wish I could go in the play area cause it looks so much fun

 

[aidil]

Some stores here allow dogs and I take mine to them. He is well trained though, in fact most of the dogs I see in stores are very well behaved. Better than the kids may I add . Because it can get down to -40 here in winter, it is actually a blessing that some stores allow dogs in... It's a way for them to get stimulation and "exercise" in really frigid weather.

omg how do you not turn into an icicle in those temperatures?!

 

[JoeBloggs]

I have never seen someone die but I have seen dead bodies and that sticks with you. I cannot imagine how watching a loved one die would make you feel.

I think it’s less about death but more about being cared for an not lonely in old age but the answer is not kids.

 

[TheGlossy]

Out of interest, are you married?

I may not be married but I don’t think it invalidates my opinion. Most people on here don’t have children, yet cast their opinion on why being child free is their preference. Same concept when it comes to casting on my opinion on wedding with / without children even if I’m not married myself. I don’t think experiencing something first hand is a pre-requisite, otherwise no one would have an opinion on anything ever.