Childfree by choice #6 Sleeping well at night, petition for childfree flights

[JoeBloggs]

Did anyone else have friends or people they knew at school who you were convinced would never have kids and then they did?

A girl I went to uni with was adamant she was going to move abroad, never marry of have kids. She has two and is married living in the UK.

 

[shadowcat5]

I think it’s different just reading a thread? Sometimes I’ve gone into the pregnancy or baby ones out of morbid curiosity and always ended up reaffirming my choice not to have kids wouldn’t post though

Yeah I read other threads when I'm bored (usually in work and I've exhausted the other threads ), I don't have social media like instagram so i don't really know any of the influencers on here besides the ones that I knew from tv shows so I mostly stay on the off topic and advice threads. I wouldn't comment though, I honestly have nothing relevant to say anyway. I always feel awkward replying to anything kid related even if it's something I can reply to, like there was an advice thread on kid swimming the other day because I don't want people to jump straight to 'you don't have kids!'

 

[Lola Ruby]

Surely not?! If that's true, it must be by a tiny amount because I've met some people with 6+ kids and their feet were a normal size. Either that or they started off with tiny feet and eventually developed normal feet after multiple kids

Fake news apparently - I just Googled it and your feet grow the most during your first pregnancy, and *can* grow a tiny bit during any pregnancies after that. Oops I swear I did see this somewhere though!

 

[LaBlonde]

I came across the word Boddler today

what in the world is a boddler?!

is it a baby/toddler hybrid for people who don’t want their babies to grow up?

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Yeah my husband is the one who cooks 90% of the time, when my dad found out he had a right go at me. Apparently my life's too easy

Same happened here, despite the fact I do most of the housework and my husband is a professional chef so it makes more sense for him to cook! If I were, say, a gardener would someone respond "but that's a MAN'S job, make him do the lawn"?

 

[shadowcat5]

I wish maternity was full pay for 9 months. Unless you have a very generous employer you're looking at a month to 6 weeks full pay tops. Then 50% pay for a few months then stat which is £143 a week or similar.

It's one of the main reasons I have chosen to be child free i can't afford to have a child despite having an above average salary.

tbh I have no idea what it is but honestly that sounds worse. Why are people doing that? Either people don’t know it’s that bad, want children that badly or it’s accidental pregnancies but nothing about it sounds like an advantage

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I don't think they can do math

Yeah on the days I start at 4.30am I go home when they all go for lunch and they're like "half day again" and I'm like nah mate done my 8 hours so I'm going shopping now lol.

Bitter people

 

[Pebbleybeach]

There was an interesting thread over on that parenting site this morning, where a woman posted about her friend who allegedly sabotaged contraception twice on her husband (who made it clear he didn't want children) and now friend is upset that he is emotionally uninvolved in child-raising.

Some of the responses were very prickly towards the OP (how dare she post that about a friend, the man should have gotten a vasectomy after the first kid) which makes me wonder how many of them are contraceptive saboteurs themselves to have such a visceral reaction to the OP, when the content is more horrifying.

I love when people say ‘he should’ve got a vasectomy’ ‘she should’ve got her tubes tied’ as if it’s that easy! Bloke I used to work with had 5 kids and he and his wife didn’t want any more, he was still told he would have to wait until he was 35 to have it incase he changed his mind. Loads of similar/worse stories all over the internet about people struggling to get abortions/tubes tied/vasectomy etc. In an ideal world he’d have a vasectomy AND his partner wouldn’t have sabotaged the contraception TWICE but we don’t live in a perfect world. Shame that woman didn’t care about her future kids enough to at least try and make sure they would have a loving and involved father either.

 

[JoeBloggs]

I didn't get married until after we'd been together 20 years and I'm too old to have kids I'm now that person though goes on at people who've been together forever and "doesn't need a piece of paper" to seriously think about getting married or a civil partnership, having seen a close friend go through trying to sort their life out after their partner died and having no rights at all because they just co-habited, it really shows how much easier that bit of paper can make things at such a stressful time.

We moved quickly at the beginning but got engage after 7 and married after 12. We had a small personal wedding but it was more for legalities as his family are crazy and I was not legally his next of kin.

I must be really weird then. I go to Chester Zoo as often as I can with just my husband!

I want to go to lego land, I hate the idea that it's weird but at the same time do not care. We went to the Jurassic World exhibition last week it was great.

 

[JoeBloggs]

Oh my god, I love hamsters! Totally hate kids though

To be fair I don’t hate them, I wanted a cute example.

 

[FullFatWater2021]

I got married over 8 years ago and only had my nieces and nephews child wise. Only one of them was a baby & 2 of my Nieces were Bridesmaids too. However it was brilliant as the baby went to sleep in the evening and the others were at an age of being able to join in and not be brats. I didn't want screaming or crying kids around and it was great. I know it's a personal choice but it was our day and our choice which was right for us.

 

[ElectricDreams]

O

She made a big mistake by caving! This is why he doesn’t understand that no means no! Consistency is key!

Oh I know, especially after 45 mins of hell! I felt like I'd endured all that for no reason whatsoever, she might as well have caved in after he asked the first time and saved us all the headache I kind of thought he'd get fed up after a bit but he was so persistent.

She was so calm with him though, repeating over and over, no, you can have xyz instead etc. I'd have flipped after 5mins, sent him to his room and let him get on with his tantrum!

 

[Satisfying Click]

Happy new year everyone! We enjoyed a peaceful and relaxed Christmas, sans children.

I did have to facetime with my SIL and her toddler; my MIL kept putting the phone in my face to put me in shot, which was awkward. We get on, but we're not at all close. The kid is 3 and unsurprisingly not interested in an unfamiliar face. (He was in fact, begging for the single chocolate coin he was allowed that day).

 

[Pebbleybeach]

Clothes for myself, I need to get more into it and spend less time on social media lol! I did alterations as a lockdown job and it absolutely killed off my love of sewing for about 2 years (note to self: never turn your hobby into a job again!). This is my fave thing I’ve made, can’t breathe in it though

That’s beautiful! You’re very talented.

 

[Anne1448]

I'm sure others here have also experienced comments from their parents about their lifestyle choices. I'm just hoping I can convince him I am just fine!!

Are you living in a country where women are expected to "settle down"?

I grew up in France but now live in Ireland and no one cares about your relationship status.

Additionally, a parents' opinion on one's life choices is only viewed as important when it comes to minors. I have a great relationship with my mother but I can't imagine taking her opinion to heart when it comes to something which only affects my life.

 

[paulpercy666]

I have a few childfree friends . they have struggled and with judgement and snide comments. ive Said a lot I’ve tried to get them to join but they haven’t yet felt like they could, they say they feel single out a lot.


oh god I’m not trying to tell anyone how to feel at all. It was just a article, and As it wa a about what others had said I found it interested that they said it was only other people saying things that they found the worst part doing what they wanted .

no offence at all, but don’t you think we are well aware of what people on both sides of the childfree “debate” () say already? i mean, we have multiple threads on the topic and many shared experiences

 

[LaBlonde]

I might hire a group of paid actors to sit around my deathbed. That actually sounds quite cool, will also ask them to do some Shakespeare

amazing!!!

i’m going to do the same but get them all do a group tapdance number

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

O
Oh I know, especially after 45 mins of hell! I felt like I'd endured all that for no reason whatsoever, she might as well have caved in after he asked the first time and saved us all the headache I kind of thought he'd get fed up after a bit but he was so persistent.

She was so calm with him though, repeating over and over, no, you can have xyz instead etc. I'd have flipped after 5mins, sent him to his room and let him get on with his tantrum!

Hahah I can’t believe she stuck it out all that time to then just cave!
Think I’d have walked out the house by that point!

 

[mcfeez]

How was everyone's childfree Christmas??

Pretty good. We still do too much round-the-houses, family pleasing visits so I think we will go abroad next Christmas!

 

[JoeBloggs]

Sometimes you don’t even get a say. If social services deem it unsafe for you to live at home and they decide that you can’t make your own decisions, they will put you in a home regardless of what your family say.

if my husband goes before me, I wouldn’t mind buying one of the flats in a sheltered building where there’s communal areas. Company if I wanted it, but my own space.

Only if you don’t have any money or assets. Otherwise they force that on the family as we have experienced. This is why have POA is so important for family, I already have it for my parents in their 60s just I case.

Always best to have your plans and arrangements made in advance.