Childfree by choice #5

[newtoyou]

Wish I could like this x100 I don’t know how this became acceptable honestly. I struggle with sensory overload but especially noises so I have to brace myself every time I enter a shop but dunno how this just became the accepted norm. I don’t shop in person much because it’s always an awful experience now but do the parents just not hear it?? If my husband started shouting & screaming while shopping I wouldn’t appreciate it why do kids get a free pass??

Let’s go back to the olden days where children should be seen and not heard Or in our case on this thread, not seen or heard

 

[Satisfying Click]

A bit like that private school in Arrested Development where the motto was that children should be neither seen nor heard

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Massive thread in AIBU on mumsnet today from a woman who has had her Christmas Day leave turned down and she can’t find care for her child who had autism. Her colleague who doesn’t have kids has been granted the leave and ‘won’t be doing anything until 11’ should give her her day off instead

 

[ElectricDreams]

I saw that thread and it made my blood pressure rise reading the OP! I sort of saw her point but she'd already pissed me off with the comment about it not impacting on her colleagues day so I struggled to have sympathy for her.

I grew up with a mum who was a nurse and who worked pretty much every Christmas, sometimes she wasn't there when we got up, sometimes she missed Christmas dinner, sometimes she would have to work on the evening. We would go to grandparents with my dad. Not once did I feel like Christmas was ruined because she wasn't there. In fact I was proud of her because she worked in a nursing home and it meant that the old people had someone to share their Christmas with. Besides, I had my new toys and I'd highlighted all the Disney films I wanted to tape in the TV guide, I was fine

 

[judgejohndeed]

Wow that was a wild read. Tbh, I feel like a lot of the politics around this is way the parents approach it. She might 'need' Christmas day off but the other colleague also 'needs' to take their annual leave and the OP had already booked 13 days off around Christmas so this poor other woman was only having Christmas day off anyway. If someone said to me 'here's the situation I'm in so I thought I'd ask you if you mind swapping' I'd probably do it, but when it gets into 'I need it off and you don't because you have no kids and your plans mean nothing' then you can take a long walk off a short cliff as far as I'm concerned.

 

[witchofwestbyfleet]

Just saw a big Twitter thread that started as someone saying they believed more women would choose to be childfree in future after hearing about horrific birth experiences on TikTok. It turned into many many more people sharing horror stories but a lot of them said "I would never tell a pregnant woman any of this." Why wouldn't you? She needs to know what she's in for even if she has chosen to keep the baby

 

[shadowcat5]

One for us

 

[HoGi]

Spoiler

Just saw a big Twitter thread that started as someone saying they believed more women would choose to be childfree in future after hearing about horrific birth experiences on TikTok. It turned into many many more people sharing horror stories but a lot of them said "I would never tell a pregnant woman any of this." Why wouldn't you? She needs to know what she's in for even if she has chosen to keep the baby

My friend has just had a baby, like 12 hours ago. She has no "damage" down there thankfully. The woman in the bed next to her has, as we call it, been left with a bumgina...

Aparently the nursers were talking to her about pelvic floor exercises...i think it is a little too late for that!!! she isnt going to exercise her vagina back together!!!!

 

[Anne1448]

Just saw a big Twitter thread that started as someone saying they believed more women would choose to be childfree in future after hearing about horrific birth experiences on TikTok. It turned into many many more people sharing horror stories but a lot of them said "I would never tell a pregnant woman any of this." Why wouldn't you? She needs to know what she's in for even if she has chosen to keep the baby

This

Motherhood is NEVER spoken about truthfully because a lot of women LOVE bringing others in miseryland.

If more women talked openly about the cost of childcare, the destruction of their bodies, the loss of their career and the impact on their marriage, Motherhood would literally plummet.

 

[DCICassieStuart]

I wish there was child free hours in supermarkets, even when I go at night there’s some in there screaming

I would pay good money for child free flights.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

I’d pay good money for a child free country. Honestly kids ruin everything. I can’t ever have a nice day out without some kid ruining it.

 

[HeyBabes]

Spoiler

I'm reading "This is going to hurt" at the mo, the book written from a doctor during his early days in a maternity/gyn ward. And honestly, one particular line cemented it for me that kids ain't ever happening, a stage 3 tear, where you rip from your V to your sphincter, horrified me! I knew you could rip from your V to your A, but your sphincter too, oh my god

 

[lastdis]

Spoiler

I'm reading "This is going to hurt" at the mo, the book written from a doctor during his early days in a maternity/gyn ward. And honestly, one particular line cemented it for me that kids ain't ever happening, a stage 3 tear, where you rip from your V to your sphincter, horrified me! I knew you could rip from your V to your A, but your sphincter too, oh my god

Have you watch this on bbc, it’s really good.

 

[HoGi]

Spoiler

I'm reading "This is going to hurt" at the mo, the book written from a doctor during his early days in a maternity/gyn ward. And honestly, one particular line cemented it for me that kids ain't ever happening, a stage 3 tear, where you rip from your V to your sphincter, horrified me! I knew you could rip from your V to your A, but your sphincter too, oh my god

Stage 4 goes even further!

Can also rip through your clit.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Spoiler

Stage 4 goes even further!

Can also rip through your clit.

And you probably won’t even be offered a paracetamol as birth is ‘natural’ and women have a naturally high pain threshold

 

[GirlOnTheTrain]

Spoiler

Stage 4 goes even further!

Can also rip through your clit.

And people do this more than once?!

 

[shadowcat5]

Spoiler

Stage 4 goes even further!

Can also rip through your clit.

i used to listen to a podcast and this woman says she has such a bruised one after childbirth she didn’t have sex for almost 2 years

 

[judgejohndeed]

My friend had a baby recently and fortunately it was all really quick and minimal intervention etc needed. But she said in her antenatal group or whatever it's called, all the other women except for one, and herself, have had horrible tears, injuries, or post natal depression, and all these women who were saying they wanted more kids when pregnant are saying they'd never do it again and wouldn't if they'd known. Obviously that's just one group but it does make you wonder how much women actually know about the risks of doing everything 'natural'. When I've spoken to my own Mum about it before she's always said it's best not to 'scare' you and 'that's the worst that can happen' etc, but how can you make decisions about your birth when it's happening if you don't even know what the risks are? If I ever decided to do it I would 100% have an elective c section, the lack of control terrifies me tbh

 

[JoeBloggs]

My friend and her baby both nearly died from her birth. She was in agony for weeks and would never do it again because she’s scared she won’t make it. Possibly losing your own life for another is just unthinkable.

 

[Blond3g1rl]

My friend had a baby recently and fortunately it was all really quick and minimal intervention etc needed. But she said in her antenatal group or whatever it's called, all the other women except for one, and herself, have had horrible tears, injuries, or post natal depression, and all these women who were saying they wanted more kids when pregnant are saying they'd never do it again and wouldn't if they'd known. Obviously that's just one group but it does make you wonder how much women actually know about the risks of doing everything 'natural'. When I've spoken to my own Mum about it before she's always said it's best not to 'scare' you and 'that's the worst that can happen' etc, but how can you make decisions about your birth when it's happening if you don't even know what the risks are? If I ever decided to do it I would 100% have an elective c section, the lack of control terrifies me tbh

If you have any form of surgery they fully explain the risks and what can go wrong. I don’t see why being pregnant/giving birth is any different. The toll on your body is far greater being pregnant and then the birth compared to sat a hip replacement for example.