Childfree by Choice #4

[Gem_woody]

I find that my boyfriend still has the exact same friendships with his friends even though quite a lot of them have kids now. It seems like men's relationships don't change that much? Whereas I feel like my friends are so consumed with their babies now and seem like different people all of a sudden.. which was a difficult adjustment for me. I find it really hard to relate to them now and feel like we have nothing in common . People told me not to worry when i found out they were pregnant, but everything I was worried about has happened.
I think a mixture of distance due to lockdowns and my closest friends having babies in the last 2 years has resulted in me feeling pretty lonely but also just accepting that I don't really need them. I can be content with mainly socialising with colleagues at work/my boyfriend/my family.

 

[Mariamariamariarose]

Absolutely, mens relationships do not change AT ALL. They still go to the pub when they want whereas my friends would turn up (late) with their kids in tow. That’s just how it was. I really felt like putting in the hours would be paid back in kind but I’d say I’ve 3 really close friends now that I can’t have kids. It is what it is and I really feel that now there’s a vacancy, only good can flow in I know that at least with one of them, she’s actually so miserable with her life now that she probably doesn’t see anyone.

I’m sorry you’re feeling it. It was scary and lonely but good things will come. And baby / kid season will come. And by the time those people emerge they’ll be fancy scary, lonely times themselves and we’ll be flying high!

 

[AshMay]

It's comforting we all feel the same even though it's sad

I'll be happy for friends having kids and I'm sure they'll make great parents but I get sad worrying the relationship and fun we're having now will change. It becomes extra difficult planning anything around the kids, spending time with them gets tiresome, there's not as much to talk about with them etc.

 

[Mariamariamariarose]

Two of my best friends were hanging out* and when I was like, can I come too. One said well, we’re talking about the issues with our partners (one is getting divorced, the other has some serious difficulties) and you’re in the happiest relationship of anyone I know. I was just like, jeez guys! I can’t win! Another thing I’m left out of

*they were meeting up without kids

 

[ATV2021]

Saw this on Emma Mcevoy's Instagram. If I had kids on a flight expecting me to play peekaboo and handing me slobbery snacks...I'd be looking for an empty seat elsewhere

 

[newtoyou]

Saw this on Emma Mcevoy's Instagram. If I had kids on a flight expecting me to play peekaboo and handing me slobbery snacks...I'd be looking for an empty seat elsewhere

There’s alway reels on my trending page of people sharing snacks with random kids in front or the kid poking their hands or face through and staring. I’d find that sooo annoying too!

 

[rosemarina]

Saw this on Emma Mcevoy's Instagram. If I had kids on a flight expecting me to play peekaboo and handing me slobbery snacks...I'd be looking for an empty seat elsewhere

I would totally bleeping lose it. Parents have got to start doing more than the bare minimum.

 

[JOHN1967]

Ah yeah totally normal, babysit for a night or two though you'll soon be back to the way you thought before lol. I love my god child, think he's the best kid ever but I'm happy out with our few days out during the year etc

We don't have kids, but like you I love my godchildren, is that even a word, especially when they are very young.

My eldest godchild is a doctor, I had a serious falling out with him a few years ago. We still talk, but I can feel the resentment when we talk. Partly his mums fault turning him against us, and partly mine for telling him he was wrong.

A few years ago he posted a status on FB saying how much he admired Hitler. I told him not to be so stupid, and how these things turn up when you least expect it.

His mum, my brother in laws wife, said he was young and let him be.

 

[Mariamariamariarose]

Jesus, parents on planes!!!!

 

[Blond3g1rl]

Saw this on Emma Mcevoy's Instagram. If I had kids on a flight expecting me to play peekaboo and handing me slobbery snacks...I'd be looking for an empty seat elsewhere

There isn’t much worse than being on a flight and having a kid constantly turn around and look at you.

 

[HeyBabes]

Jesus, parents on planes!!!!

I’m cabin crew (And never want kids) and can honestly say that parents with young kids on planes, are the worst. Now I’m generalising here, the majority get their kids to behave, but there’s always that one nightmare parent who allows their kid to stomp food into the carpets, rip up the safety card, draw on the seats or the walls, and even worse allows their kid to do stupid dangerous things like stand up while the plane is landing or taxiing. And ofc if you dare say anything to them about their kid’s behaviour (just trying to stop them from getting hurt!) believe me you’ll get the full force of their anger.

 

[Rippedjeanmaybe]

The worst behaviour I saw on a plane was from a parent!

This little boy, probably 2 1/2 was really upset, it was 1am, he was overtired and just exhausted and he was having a melt down. Not a tantrum, a full on melt down, the poor child was distraught and the family who he was with was like something off shameless!

The dad (or step dad) was just shouting at this child, “shut up now, you’re doing my head in” and properly screeching at this poor child, which was making the child worse. Then he starts threatening him “if you don’t shut your mouth I swear”…

Honestly I wasn’t bothered by the child, it was this “man’s” disgusting behaviour that I was bothered by! I get he was probably embarrassed, but there was just no need for it!

 

[ATV2021]

The worst behaviour I saw on a plane was from a parent!

This little boy, probably 2 1/2 was really upset, it was 1am, he was overtired and just exhausted and he was having a melt down. Not a tantrum, a full on melt down, the poor child was distraught and the family who he was with was like something off shameless!

The dad (or step dad) was just shouting at this child, “shut up now, you’re doing my head in” and properly screeching at this poor child, which was making the child worse. Then he starts threatening him “if you don’t shut your mouth I swear”…

Honestly I wasn’t bothered by the child, it was this “man’s” disgusting behaviour that I was bothered by! I get he was probably embarrassed, but there was just no need for it!

I always remember when we went Tenerife and my Mum was just walking by the pool and said there was a proper rough woman who lobbed a toddler into the pool and she evidently couldn't swim so my Mum just had a bit of a stunned face reaction and the woman goes "WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO? DIP HER BLOODY TOE IN" and again my Mum just walked off like....wtf

 

[jimjamgem]

I was recently on a flight home (from our adult only hotel ) in the same row as a baby. It was just awful. The parents were stressed out the whole time, I could feel their anxiety that baby would start crying (it did), wouldn’t go to sleep (it didn’t). I was just trying to read my book in peace. I know it’s all part and parcel of going on holiday with a baby but I just can’t imagine the additional stress of it all.

 

[Mariamariamariarose]

Tax the childless and childfree?

So suggests Paul Morland in todays Sunday Times. He acknowledges this may be unfair on those who cant or wont have children but says that “we all rely on there being a next generation and that everyone should contribute to the cost of that generation” Funny I thought the taxes that I pay already...

www.awwoc.org

Ageing without children responded to that times article ….

 

[HoGi]

Tax the childless and childfree?

So suggests Paul Morland in todays Sunday Times. He acknowledges this may be unfair on those who cant or wont have children but says that “we all rely on there being a next generation and that everyone should contribute to the cost of that generation” Funny I thought the taxes that I pay already...

www.awwoc.org

Ageing without children responded to that times article ….

I think we should get tax breaks.

We don't take out as much as those with children. No maternity care, no maternity/paternity pay, no child benefits or tax credits, no "free" nursery hours, no school for 13 years, no NHS for antibiotics for ill children..the list is endless.

 

[Mariamariamariarose]

I think we should get tax breaks.

We don't take out as much as those with children. No maternity care, no maternity/paternity pay, no child benefits or tax credits, no "free" nursery hours, no school for 13 years, no NHS for antibiotics for ill children..the list is endless.

Absolutely agree with you and as AWOC says this sort of tit continues the narratives of us somehow being less than

 

[Blond3g1rl]

I think we should get tax breaks.

We don't take out as much as those with children. No maternity care, no maternity/paternity pay, no child benefits or tax credits, no "free" nursery hours, no school for 13 years, no NHS for antibiotics for ill children..the list is endless.

Completely agree

 

[Norfolking Good]

Slightly off topic but I went for a GP Appt a few days ago and I was the youngest person in the waiting room by a good 25 years. Everyone in the pharmacy queuing were elderly too.
I guess a lot of gp appointments must be the very old and very young ( be interesting to see the age breakdowns on usage though)

 

[JoeBloggs]

I think we should get tax breaks.

We don't take out as much as those with children. No maternity care, no maternity/paternity pay, no child benefits or tax credits, no "free" nursery hours, no school for 13 years, no NHS for antibiotics for ill children..the list is endless.

I also wonder, if on the whole, childfree people keep themselves healthier. They have more time, more money for better food, gym memberships, holidays, sleep etc.