Childfree by Choice #4

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Currently in Cineworld in Milton Keynes.

So. Many. Children. Not being remotely controlled. It's horrible.
Ahh my hometown! That sounds horrible 😕 I was in a restaurant yesterday that had a sign asking people to kindly keep their children seated. I wonder if they pay attention to it..

Currently in Cineworld in Milton Keynes.

So. Many. Children. Not being remotely controlled. It's horrible.
Ahh my hometown! That sounds horrible 😕 I was in a restaurant yesterday that had a sign asking people to kindly keep their children seated. I wonder if they pay attention to it..
 
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Ahh my hometown! That sounds horrible 😕 I was in a restaurant yesterday that had a sign asking people to kindly keep their children seated. I wonder if they pay attention to it..
It's an intriguing place Milton Keynes. Not sure what to make of it 🤣
 
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Is it normal to suddenly feel all sorts of feelings when you hold a baby that relates to you? My sister has had her first baby (I’ve become an aunty for the first time, too) and I sometimes tear up when I look a photos of her. I’ve said I’ve not wanted kids for the last 20 years, but now I’m worried I’ve been wrong all along 😂 I’ve never felt this way when holding my friends babies. I told myself it’s because she’s cute and they don’t stay cute forever. They turn into teenagers who slam doors and will be a constant worry for the rest of your life lol.
This made me laugh. We did want kids, didn’t work out. I’ve been having a stretch of melancholy about it but your last sentence made me think of my sibling who’s in their fifties and is still causing drama for my parents. Ahhhh, felt so happy at the thought that I won’t have any problematic children who won’t grow up to deal with in the future 😃
 
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Another child free by choice here 👋🏻 I had the grass at the front of my house removed earlier this year and replaced with slate, stones and shrubs. Just caught 3 boys walking and kicking a ball across it, poliely pointed out that they shouldn’t be doing that on someone’s property and they looked at me like I’d got 2 heads 🤷🏼‍♀️ Why do kids these days have no respect? Makes me so glad I don’t have any 😆
 
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Exactly!! Isn’t that what Mothers Day and Father’s Day are for? 🤷🏼‍♀️
exactly! and it’s essentially a day for something you CHOSE to be?! like, congratulations, i guess, but a national day, get in the bin.

starting a petition for “national blonde day” 💁🏼‍♀️
 
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exactly! and it’s essentially a day for something you CHOSE to be?! like, congratulations, i guess, but a national day, get in the bin.

starting a petition for “national blonde day” 💁🏼‍♀️
I’m a fake blonde but I’ll join you on that one 😆
 
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Is it normal to feel a bit concerned that you'll lose friends as they start to have children themselves, while you're childfree? Feeling a bit confused lately

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for my friends and I know if I was in their position the baby would take over my life too. But a few have had babies lately, and I feel like I can't relate to their lives as much as I did. I don't want it to hurt our friendship and still want to be friends.

Are people with kids still interested in maintaining friendships with childfree people? Does their view of childfree people change, once they have kids themselves?
 
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Is it normal to feel a bit concerned that you'll lose friends as they start to have children themselves, while you're childfree?

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for my friends and I know if I was in their position the baby would take over my life too. But a few have had babies lately, and I feel like I can't relate to their lives as much as I did. I don't want it to hurt our friendship and still want to be friends.

Are people with kids still interested in maintaining friendships with childfree people? Does their view of childfree people change, once they have kids themselves?
One of my close friends is pregnant.

We spend a lot of time together as 2 couples. Normally go out at least once a month, have been away together etc.

So I am worried. I know their priorities will change, but there are already comments like "we don't know what our routine will be yet" etc.

I have a feeling they will be totally inflexible in changing routine and therefore we will never see them again unless it is a breakfast date or something.
 
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One of my close friends is pregnant.

We spend a lot of time together as 2 couples. Normally go out at least once a month, have been away together etc.

So I am worried. I know their priorities will change, but there are already comments like "we don't know what our routine will be yet" etc.

I have a feeling they will be totally inflexible in changing routine and therefore we will never see them again unless it is a breakfast date or something.
I'm worried too. It's comforting to hear someone else feels the same. I don't have a big friend circle and value those who I have, so the possible weakening of a friendship scares me. Maybe I'm being overdramatic. If they're true friends (which I believe they are) they should still want to stay friends even if their lives and priorities change.
 
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Is it normal to feel a bit concerned that you'll lose friends as they start to have children themselves, while you're childfree? Feeling a bit confused lately

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for my friends and I know if I was in their position the baby would take over my life too. But a few have had babies lately, and I feel like I can't relate to their lives as much as I did. I don't want it to hurt our friendship and still want to be friends.

Are people with kids still interested in maintaining friendships with childfree people? Does their view of childfree people change, once they have kids themselves?
It’s perfectly normal, and in my experience it really bleeping sucks and changes everything for the worse. I’m a bit of a ray of sunshine as you can probably tell.
 
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Is it normal to feel a bit concerned that you'll lose friends as they start to have children themselves, while you're childfree? Feeling a bit confused lately

Don't get me wrong, I'm so happy for my friends and I know if I was in their position the baby would take over my life too. But a few have had babies lately, and I feel like I can't relate to their lives as much as I did. I don't want it to hurt our friendship and still want to be friends.

Are people with kids still interested in maintaining friendships with childfree people? Does their view of childfree people change, once they have kids themselves?
Currently going through this and i feel exactly the same. Feel like I'm mourning our past friendships cause they'll never be the same again.
 
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Yeah, now that I’ll definitely be child free - I’ve definitely lost a few friendships in the last year. Which sucks! I spent hours doing kid friendly things with them and now…
 
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Yeah, now that I’ll definitely be child free - I’ve definitely lost a few friendships in the last year. Which sucks! I spent hours doing kid friendly things with them and now…
Gosh that's tough. It took me so long to form a group of friends. I don't know how I'd make new ones. I work all hours and there aren't any local clubs or activities I'm interested in. Nearly all my friends are from various jobs I've held over the years. My two friends from uni both moved abroad and one had kids. I still speak to them but its becoming more sporadic. I get on great with my partner thankfully. If it wasn't for that I'd be really lonely right now
 
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Ok a weird one. My friends are pretty good with not making everything about their kids but I can find it quite tiresome hanging out with them when all the children are there. However one of the kids I don’t really like being around. He’s described me not by my name but by my ethnicity (“that x woman”), and last time I was around them I overheard him saying I wasn’t part of the family (which is true but he wouldn’t have said that if I was the same ethnicity as everyone else). But when I already feel like the odd one out because I’m haven’t got a partner or kid, it didn’t help that this kid makes comments like that. I’m not claiming he’s some kind of child racist (his parents definitely aren’t!) but it just makes me avoid wanting to spend time with them.
 
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It really, really sucks. I’m sorry.
If it wasn't for my partner I'd be so fcking scared right now about loneliness over the next few years. My cat is getting older too and gonna be devastated when he goes as I spend like 12 hours a day with him. I can't become friends with my current work colleagues, some of them are ok but I know we're never gonna be close. Children won't fill the gap for me, I know that wouldn't be the right decision to get over this.

Sorry if I'm sounding pessimistic right now, one of those nights.

I just found it so hard to make friends and now I'm scared I'm gonna lose what I have. I think I'm an interesting person but will they think they can no longer relate to me, after entering a baby filled world?

Normally I'm a confident person ready to kick ass but tonight I just feel so low

Any time I message my friend who lives in the US and has a kid, I get really short responses from her even though I ask how her child is, maybe she is just too busy with her now toddler and doesn't mean harm, I see her on Facebook having fun with loads of mothers she's met through work and baby groups

I can see too that my partner has grown apart from some of his friends since they had kids, no falling out just don't see them as much, can't just give them a call and say let's do a mountain hike or something this weekend like we used to.
 
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