Not determined, just baffled that people can’t understand that other people might like different things… anyway! Moving on…
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I mostly get judged at the office or by my mum mum and that environment tends to make my traits worse as does tattle at times haha.It’s so good that you can recognise that though and that’s the main thing. None of us are perfect really. I’m terrible for mentally judging people and then I tell myself off for thinking certain things. We all have things we need to work on, it’s just good that we can recognise that!
I am getting a lot of negative comments in work over the wedding at the moment, just things like “oh that was one mistake I never made getting married” and “oh been there done that, big mistake” and “it all ends in divorce anyway”… so I think I’m just downtrodden about it all now and I’m exhausted with the negativity, it is mainly coming from the work place though!
If it’s not being child free that people get judged for it’s weddings, holiday choices, and god knows what elsejust never ending at the minute! There’s a lot of places I wouldn’t dream of going on holiday, or spending money on or doing, but I can recognise that other people might want to and the world would be odd if we all wanted the same things!
That must be really hard, you dont want to hear all about negative stuff like that when you are excited for your wedding. When people say 50% of marriages fail. Yeah but that also mean 50% are loving and have longevity. Doesn't matter if you have a small wedding or a big wedding the importance is the 2 people coming together in love and their intentions.
People do the same about children, complain to me all day about their kids at work. Then a week later one of those same people will ask when my turn is haha.
Yes i have been reflecting a lot recently and doing some inner work and when someone says something about behaviour i recognise in my self or pulls me up on something directly I am trying to see that and what their point of view is and apologise where needed. Not all the time some people like to have a pick at what you say no matter lot. But I am learning as are we all
I get what people are trying to say when they say “oh most marriages end in divorce”, but at the same time, if we weren’t married we would have split up anyway at that point if we were getting a divorce if that makes sense and then that split wouldn’t be recorded? Like surely if we are going to split at some point, it would happen whether we are married or not, it just wouldn’t be a huge deal if we weren’t married!I mostly get judged at the office or by my mum mum and that environment tends to make my traits worse as does tattle at times haha.
That must be really hard, you dont want to hear all about negative stuff like that when you are excited for your wedding. When people say 50% of marriages fail. Yeah but that also mean 50% are loving and have longevity. Doesn't matter if you have a small wedding or a big wedding the importance is the 2 people coming together in love and their intentions.
People do the same about children, complain to me all day about their kids at work. Then a week later one of those same people will ask when my turn is haha.
Yes i have been reflecting a lot recently and doing some inner work and when someone says something about behaviour i recognise in my self or pulls me up on something directly I am trying to see that and what their point of view is and apologise where needed. Not all the time some people like to have a pick at what you say no matter lot. But I am learning as are we all
so we might as well give marriage a go! I just think I’ve come to that point in life where I need to not care what people think. I’m going to get so many more comments about babies after the wedding, I’m just going to start switching off and not caring at all about others thoughts and opinions. I’m fed up of being so negatively affected by it! I’ve learnt to just smile and nod when people say things about their lives so that I don’t pass judgment!
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Here’s just little old me as a newbie wondering what on earth I’ve walked into… 
This very much used to be my in-laws as well. The ironic thing is, we all used to hang out so much - BBQs, catch up drinks, park hangs) when my husbands nieces and nephews were young (and the conversation was all consuming kid-chat) but now they’re all in their teens getting everyone together is like trying to pull teeth. Sometimes I think having children is a person’s entire identity - as much as some don’t like to admit it!
I can relate to so very much of this.
Love it (& again, same). Travel is sooo soulful. I just wish my husband wanted to go somewhere other than where he can be sure he’s surrounded by cheap beer (Bali, Thailand)
Heya fellow newbie
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Do you mean he only wants to go to Bali and Thailand or you want to go to those places? Thailand is full of mega cheap beer!Love it (& again, same). Travel is sooo soulful. I just wish my husband wanted to go somewhere other than where he can be sure he’s surrounded by cheap beer (Bali, Thailand)
He. I love the place, don’t get me wrong! But I’ve got an innate passion, and love for the UK and Europe & want to go somewhere else for a change (with him).
Got dragged to Florida once by my OH and his family. Was OK for a day or so but totally craved some culture and vegetables. Disney 24 /7 was just too plastic and make believe for me and there was just too much food everywhere - obviously the latter isn't unique to Florida but even when I ordered a salad it came with marshmallow sprinkles on it and a side order of a chocolate muffin, neither of which I wanted then or to take home. Loved the time I spent in New York but in general there are places that suit me a lot better closer to home in Europe and if I'm going long haul I'd rather go east but we're all different which is probably as well. In keeping with this thread there were also too many badly behaved kids around who were clearly high on sugar and lack of sleep.As a Brit living in the US, yeah, I don't get the fascination with FL either unless you are Disney mad. There is so much better on the east coast to offer. I'll get me coat before you all come after me.
i flew back from scotland yesterday (which is an incredibly short flight, only just an hour) and a small boy (probably around 5 or 6) ran up and down the aisle, in between the exit row, almost tripping people up, the ENTIRE time. his mother was probably about my age (mid thirties) and had five boys with her who looked to be between 2-11 so probably had a lot to keep track of but damn.
i have never seen so many people make this face
at a kid in my life. even the cabin crew stopped smiling at him after a while and were like “he has to be sat down please”. i think we’ve said this before but i don’t understand why you wouldn’t take stuff to keep the child occupied. he made it almost up to the other side of the plane at one point and she barely seemed to have noticed that he’d gone.
never been happier to be a solo traveller
i have never seen so many people make this face
at a kid in my life. even the cabin crew stopped smiling at him after a while and were like “he has to be sat down please”. i think we’ve said this before but i don’t understand why you wouldn’t take stuff to keep the child occupied. he made it almost up to the other side of the plane at one point and she barely seemed to have noticed that he’d gone. never been happier to be a solo traveller
I’ve finally seen them! In a development that will surprise nobody, it transpires that the screaming parent and the person who parks in the no parking zone in front of the building are one and the same. The little angel was screaming Old McDonald at 6:30am as it was loaded into its illegally parked chariot.
really wish cabin crew would be more assertive with kids. We had this during the pandemic when you were told constantly about wearing masks on the plane. But 2 kids who were about 6 who weren’t considered old enough to wear masks at all ran around, rolled up and down and crawled (hello germs 
) the aisle the whole time right on top of strangers and the crew just smiled at them. They found it perfectly acceptable to bark at the grown woman opposite me when her mask slipped down her nose slightly though. That’s when I realised there was absolutely no logic in the world anymore and rules simply don’t apply to kids or their parents.Here’s something that grinds my gears - can mothers/parents please stop saying tit like “thank you for choosing me to be your Mum/Dad”. It implies for those of us who are childless by choice (yet following an intense and very lengthy period of TTC) that we were not chosen.
The kid didn’t choose you mate, you and your significant other CHOSE to create a child. The kid didn’t magically pick you out of a hat and say “I choose her to be my Mummy”.
FFS
The kid didn’t choose you mate, you and your significant other CHOSE to create a child. The kid didn’t magically pick you out of a hat and say “I choose her to be my Mummy”.
FFS
This goes along the narrative of that somehow being a parent makes your a superhuman and belittles those without kids (for whatever reason). I hate the phrases, never known love like it, my life was complete when you were born etc. I feel a lot of people use these phases to mask the hell that is their reality.Here’s something that grinds my gears - can mothers/parents please stop saying tit like “thank you for choosing me to be your Mum/Dad”. It implies for those of us who are childless by choice (yet following an intense and very lengthy period of TTC) that we were not chosen.
The kid didn’t choose you mate, you and your significant other CHOSE to create a child. The kid didn’t magically pick you out of a hat and say “I choose her to be my Mummy”.
FFS
A lot of people can just have a child, there is nothing special or magical about it, it is science.
Or the saying ‘you don’t know what love is until you have kids.’
A colleague of mine recently announced her pregnancy on Instagram and a comment from one of her friends was "your life has finally begun"
More like, your life as you once knew it is over!A colleague of mine recently announced her pregnancy on Instagram and a comment from one of her friends was "your life has finally begun"
When my cousin had her first baby she posted a photo with the caption 'Our lives have now begun'. It just made me feel quite sad for her.
This may be an unpopular opinion but I don't see how having a child makes your life better.
All I see from my friends and my sister's experiences is that they are a serious drain on your money and time. You can no longer put yourself and your needs first in your own life. Like I would be depressed coming home from work to deal with children and taxi them around to various activities and birthday parties. It sparks no joy in me. It sparks dread. I don't understand why people do it.
All I see from my friends and my sister's experiences is that they are a serious drain on your money and time. You can no longer put yourself and your needs first in your own life. Like I would be depressed coming home from work to deal with children and taxi them around to various activities and birthday parties. It sparks no joy in me. It sparks dread. I don't understand why people do it.
Yeah I completely agree with all of this!! I can't think of anything worse then dedicating my whole weekends trying to find different things to entertain children and take them to football, dance practices! I went to bed straight after working last night with a bottle of wine and my laptopnl to watch a film, it was ultimate bliss!!
Sorry for typos
fully agree. i can only go by listening to the women who sit around me in work but their lives seem to be ferrying children from school to different clubs to
whoever is doing childcare that day to home to soft play to parties…… they might get some respite if their husbands agree to “babysit” but otherwise nope.
it also blows my mind how funny they seem to find their husband’s uselessness with their own kids. it’s not funny that your husband can’t dress or cook for your child without your supervision and it’s not cute to say he’s running daddy daycare when he’s looking after his own children.
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