I absolutely hate those 'it must be nice' said in a condescending tone comments. I love my sister but she is a bit of a martyr, she used to say to me 'you're good to yourself' in that same tone if I bought myself clothes or something. Drove me up the walls
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On the topic of if men are questioned like women, my male partner is NEVER vilified for not wanting kids. I've had all kinds of horrible things said to me, when he says he doesn't want kids he's told good for you/you're doing the right thing/yeah don't ruin your life mate/I wish I hadn't had any and stuff like that!
Men are never vilified full stop 
This. My boyfriend gets ‘good for you, I love my kids but wish I’d never had them.’ I get ‘you’ll change your mind.’ Lol, I won’t.
This is not a bad thing and I’m happy for anyone who wants and has kids, but I can’t think of anything more selfish than creating a human just to make yourself happy. That’s why the “not having kids is selfish” thing makes 0 sense to me.
If it was all just about looking after children, surely more people would foster and adopt.
If it was all just about looking after children, surely more people would foster and adopt.
Kids do not make you happy. There are moment of happiness, sure but no. Giving yourself 100% to another human being who is completely self serving and selfish is never gonna make you happy.
I love my kids but Im not a natural mother. Its hard, Id never change it, it was always my destiny but its challenging.
My Dad is my best friend though so I hope that he doesnt regret becoming a parent because he is my world
I love my kids but Im not a natural mother. Its hard, Id never change it, it was always my destiny but its challenging.
My Dad is my best friend though so I hope that he doesnt regret becoming a parent because he is my world
Guess what?
I woke up today after a glorious lie-in, and did whatever the duck I wanted once again because I have no kids
I woke up today after a glorious lie-in, and did whatever the duck I wanted once again because I have no kids
I get that this is a female centric forum, but saying that it is always the man that walks out is unfair.
I don't have kids, but if I did I would fight tooth and nail to keep them. Unfortunately in most cases the ladies get custody and the man gets stuck with the bills.
I agree with your first point but then immediately saying 'women get custody and men get the bills' is also unfair and hypocritical to boot.
He said in most cases and imo he's not wrong. But anyway perhaps we had better leave that argument for a different threadI agree with your first point but then immediately saying 'women get custody and men get the bills' is also unfair and hypocritical to boot.
Yeah I know what you mean, the world isn't going to be a great place in the future!100% yes. I've never wanted kids but less so now than ever before. Climate change, the declining economy, Brexit, the criminals that run this country... None of these things will change anytime soon. There is no way I would bring a child into this world knowing that they will eventually have to pick up the pieces.
Depressing I know but I'm just being honest
I'm very ambivalent to the idea of having kids right now, I'm not out of school, nothing in my life is really that stable. Also at 26 it's pretty misogynist that nasty exes have the audacity to state: better find someone else if your boyfriend doesn't marry you soon, it's just biology women have less options in their 30's. bla bla bla. Jokes on you I truly don't care about marriage at all. 
Also so many marriages fail due to the stress of kids on top of the stress of holding a marriage together and the woman statistically undertakes most of the responsability/chores/child rearing. You spend your life on this then often you realize at 50-60 you didn't spend much time doing what you wanted in life because kids/marriage... not something I want to rush into or perhaps do at all.
Also so many marriages fail due to the stress of kids on top of the stress of holding a marriage together and the woman statistically undertakes most of the responsability/chores/child rearing. You spend your life on this then often you realize at 50-60 you didn't spend much time doing what you wanted in life because kids/marriage... not something I want to rush into or perhaps do at all.
I've never wanted kids. Some of it may have stemmed from the fact I'm gay so when I was growing up I just assumed it'd be an impossibility (even gay adoption was illegal when I was a teenager, for example).
But I'm happy with my decision now. I have two nephews and a niece and they're enough. I like seeing them and spending time with them but it's nice to hand them back.
But I'm happy with my decision now. I have two nephews and a niece and they're enough. I like seeing them and spending time with them but it's nice to hand them back.
Do you find that family members pressure you to have kids, whether it be via adoption/surrogacy etc? Just curious if gay couples get it in the neck too?I've never wanted kids. Some of it may have stemmed from the fact I'm gay so when I was growing up I just assumed it'd be an impossibility (even gay adoption was illegal when I was a teenager, for example).
But I'm happy with my decision now. I have two nephews and a niece and they're enough. I like seeing them and spending time with them but it's nice to hand them back.
Or do friends/family not mention it at all because they know it's not a 'biological' possibility?Nah, I've never had that from family members. I'm sure some gay people get that pressure, but I'm lucky that I don't.Do you find that family members pressure you to have kids, whether it be via adoption/surrogacy etc? Just curious if gay couples get it in the neck too?
I know that my MIL only considers biologically and, shall we call it, traditionally conceived grandchildren "the real thing". Her daughter, my SIL, is gay, and wants kids and MIL has made it clear she wouldn't consider her baby via a sperm donor to be a proper grandchild. Not really sure why. She hasnt entertained the idea that if we wanted children, husband and I might need IVF or even a sperm donor too. (P.S. in case you hadn't worked it out, she's a homophobe...)Do you find that family members pressure you to have kids, whether it be via adoption/surrogacy etc? Just curious if gay couples get it in the neck too?
insane... this would be a blood related grandchild, same situation as a father that walked out. to many idiots on this planet
I think part of her is wary too, that if they had a baby which was biologically her daughters partners child, she would be "required" to view that child as her daughters son or daughter too - which would be a no no. Honestly its difficult to discern where her head is at.
So one idiot i work with said he needed the non bank holidays off to be with his kids .
His kids are both in their mid twenties ...
His kids are both in their mid twenties ...
I wish it would work in reverse. "Sorry, I can't work this week because my parents require my presence at home."So one idiot i work with said he needed the non bank holidays off to be with his kids .
His kids are both in their mid twenties ...
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