Childfree by Choice #2

I would pay good money to be there in person when someone retorts ‘because I’ve seen yours’

mcfeez said:

This one confuses me too. I know people who legitimately don't consider that "trying for a baby." Many of them have actively stopped taking the pill, using condoms etc but still claim their pregnancies as a total surprise.

Click to expand...

Surely depends if he pulls out or not? Sorry to be crude. With my ex I was silly and we didn’t use protection after I came off the pill but I used to track my cycle and we only had sex around 3 times in a 6 month period and he pulled out so even though we weren’t on anything I definitely wasn’t trying to get pregnant!

Lana.lee said:

It really is terrible.
I would consider myself a soft and gentle person who actually likes children. The looks I get when I suggest that I have made the decision not to have a child makes me feel like a cold, mean bitch.

Click to expand...

oh yes they imply is it because I hate the one I have it makes me feel so awkward so I can only imagine it’s 100 times worse for someone who has chosen to not have any.

Pixipoppy said:

Surely depends if he pulls out or not? Sorry to be crude. With my ex I was silly and we didn’t use protection after I came off the pill but I used to track my cycle and we only had sex around 3 times in a 6 month period and he pulled out so even though we weren’t on anything I definitely wasn’t trying to get pregnant!

Click to expand...

That is NOT a form of contraception.

DCICassieStuart said:

That is NOT a form of contraception.

Click to expand...

There was a thread on mumsnet a little while ago where someone was asking something about contraception methods, she said something like she didn't like the side effects of the pill and would tracking her ovulation and her partner pulling out be OK and someone replied saying that's the method of contraception her and her husband use and they've got 6 kids

Yeah I think people who pull out need a bit of a science lesson. Also, not to also sound so gross, but people who do that are missing one of the best parts

I hate to be pedantic but technically it is. It even has a name, it's called 'the withdrawal method'. I'm not saying it's an effective one but it is still a form nonetheless...

SqualorVictoria said:

I hate to be pedantic but technically it is. It even has a name, it's called 'the withdrawal method'. I'm not saying it's an effective one but it is still a form nonetheless...

Click to expand...

I'm pretty sure if you went to your GP to discuss your options regarding contraception, this would not be in the leaflet they give you You might as well call the 'after sex wee' a contraceptive method too.

Anyone who uses pulling out as their only method shouldnt be surprised if they were pregnant. Each to their own but if you wanna remain childless then it's time to switch it up

mrsbucket said:

I'm pretty sure if you went to your GP to discuss your options regarding contraception, this would not be in the leaflet they give you You might as well call the 'after sex wee' a contraceptive method too.

Click to expand...

I don't dispute that but if contraception is defined as 'the deliberate use of artificial methods or other techniques to prevent pregnancy as a consequence of sexual intercourse' then technically it falls under that. Again, I'm not saying it's the most effective or best one but is it still technically a form of contraception

The whole "pull out" conversation is a mess but God damn it I love this thread

You ladies never fail to make me laugh

I'm 31 and childfree by default because I haven't dated in 5 years and not planning on focusing on this aspect for now. For the last year, I have been debating whether I want to have children.

Growing up, I saw people around me have multiple children without assessing whether they truly have the means to raise these children. Children are expensive and sometimes I don't understand why people with limited income have multiple children fully knowing they'll be struggling at some point in time. I really do not understand the logic at all. Granted, having children might be an urge, but in this case, keep the number of children you want to raise to an acceptable number within your means. It's very selfish to have multiple children if you can't provide them with a decent standard of living and a happy childhood. No child should ever their witness parents struggling to feed or clothe them. It's really unfair on the child who never asked to be born in the first place.

In addition to this, I would find it really difficult to squeeze a child into my life because my life wouldn't be mine anymore. It would belong to my employer for 8-10 hours a day and then once the business day is over, it's time dedicate the remaining hours to your children. You have to be utterly selfless and I need time for myself to recharge, make plans, breathe. I don't think I'd do well as a parent, especially if I'm unhappy / stressed at work and then add taking care of another human being with needs / wants / feelings into the mix. I can barely handle myself, let alone take care of someone else.

Maybe I'll change my mind in a couple of years, but for now, I'm OK with being child-free because I know it's the wisest decision.

SqualorVictoria said:

I hate to be pedantic but technically it is. It even has a name, it's called 'the withdrawal method'. I'm not saying it's an effective one but it is still a form nonetheless...

Click to expand...

Isn’t that from the Victorian times?

Greencatfysh said:

Yeah I think people who pull out need a bit of a science lesson. Also, not to also sound so gross, but people who do that are missing one of the best parts

Click to expand...

Haha that’s the worst bit, the awkward shuffle to the bathroom It’s worked for me (the few times I did do it), pretty sure I’m infertile anyway and age is definitely not on my side! So chances were slim.

hiya_hun said:

Isn’t that from the Victorian times?

Click to expand...

I'm not here to argue that is a modern method but it is still a method nonetheless! Again, contraception is 'the deliberate use of artificial methods or other techniques to prevent pregnancy as a consequence of sexual intercourse'

I wouldn't consider "pull out" a proper method for avoiding pregnancy. Some of the comments here indicate people that use it wouldn't mind terribly to find out they are pregnant. I 100% do no want to get pregnant so wouldn't use it - I know no method of contraception is 100% but this is definitely one of the worst ones.

As I keep saying, I'm not saying it's the most effective one in the world but it is still technically a method nonetheless.

I’ve definitely heard of ‘the pulling out method.’ Confused if people haven’t heard of it or don’t think it works? Probably doesn’t work but it’s certainly ‘a method’

judgejohndeed said:

I’ve definitely heard of ‘the pulling out method.’ Confused if people haven’t heard of it or don’t think it works? Probably doesn’t work but it’s certainly ‘a method’

Click to expand...

In a similar way doing anal is a 99% effective method of contraception.. shall we leave it there?

How do people handle being asked to go on a family holiday with loads of kids? There's talk of a weekend away next year with all my nieces and nephews and siblings. I'm not too keen as you can imagine.