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leabytottle

VIP Member
Has she actually met another baby and laid on a mat at a play group with another baby?

It is not like you are famous, so just go the fuck to a baby group and bore them with all your pointless shit. Nobody will have a clue who you are, especially with that orange hair 😂😂
I went to a baby group (wasn’t a fan, it was full of mums saying “Look how clever my primrose Penelope is, she’s almost walking and she’s only 2 months old”) but there were a few “normal” parents that went. It was after about 2 months that I realised the person I’d recognised, but thought it was from school, was actually in a soap I watched at the time! She was definitely famous and someone who people recognised (except me it seems 😜🤭) and no one made a fuss at all.

I doubt that Carrie would be recognised at her Mumma group. If she was, it would be for being “Tom from McFlys sister”. Can you imagine her going to the first week, and walking in wearing sunglasses to go incognito. 🥸 She’d announce her name loudly, so people would know who she was. Still no recognition, she’d probably start singing “Seventeen” from Heathers, whilst changing Muffin, to draw attention, but they’d mainly be wondering why she was dry humping the nappy bin with her eyes shut, fantasising that she’s had a baby with Jamie.
During the rhyme time singing sessions, she’d be out singing everyone until someone complemented her voice, “you should be on the west end, what a powerful voice” before, doing ‘ THE FACE’ and pretending to be embarrassed “Actually, I’ve been on the west end since I was a child”.
Failing recognition for any of those, she’d get joel to turn up, dressed as KG3, so people would see that they were the king and queen of the west end (in their heads only) He would make all the babies cry as he’d speak in the dreadful voice he uses for king George, before pulling out some of carries books and a pen incase anyone wanted a signature.
She may also persuade Tom to go with her, saying to the class leader “My brother is a rockstar, he’s offered to come and play his guitar at next weeks session. His wife may also sing along with him, although if you have an auto tune microphone, that would help”.

Once the class finishes and Carrie is pissed off that no one wants to have her autograph, because they’ve got to feed or change their baby, she will go and meet her lift home. Her Dad and Joel changed their weekly swimming class to coincide with her Mumma class, so they could be in the same building, after all, Joel doesn’t do well without Carrie… although I bet he now says “Dadda doesn’t do well without muffin and Mumma” 🤢
 
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Mark81

VIP Member
It's an odd combo

Carrie will mean nothing to the generations that know the musical. And the musical will mean nothing to the (dwindling) generation that know her. She's already proven she can't sell a show on her name alone

This has cheapo tour written all over it.
 
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GrilledCheese

VIP Member
When YOUR WIFE!!!! manages to not make it all herself, but you missed that memo 🤦‍♀️

Also, all the exclamation marks make him look the opposite of sad.
Wow. Someone died. Read the room. This post is disgusting. It reads like "rip ....so anyway"

Literally fuck off Joel
 
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PontiacBandit

Chatty Member
What a luxury it is to be able to spend time with your baby and partner for long stretches almost every day. She has no idea. Has she not been out with Mabel on her own in two months (PPD notwithstanding)? She makes it sound like Joel's matinee is the first time she's gone out on her own, out of sufferance. Even taking the pram around the block for example or out locally with her mum. I feel it would've been documented though the walks with Joel (if they happened) seemingly haven't been, so 🤷‍♀️

Even her story about bumping into a stranger (again, if it happened) positions her as the *expert*. Mabel isn't that much older than 6 weeks (9 weeks? 10 weeks?) which is still very early days and babies are all different. How does she have the authority to say 'it gets better' and repeat it confidently on social media like some kind of guru? Maybe the other woman had a dream baby, what does Carrie know? Or a colicky baby and it's going to get worse before it gets better. Poor woman having to listen to Carrie booming away 😂
 
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Accionoodles

VIP Member
She’s shared that cringy ‘Keep being the most’ TikTok to Instagram. I think someone is desperate to go viral.

All I hear is ‘keep being loud, obnoxious and insufferable whilst while wearing ugly jumpers and acting like a twat .’
IMG_5337.jpeg
 
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Fillyjonk

VIP Member
What's with the weird scowl in the promo photo and trailer? I know, I know, Carrie can't act for shit but how did marketing look at the material and think, "Yeah, let's portray Calamity Jane as a moustache twirling melodrama villain"?
 
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Accionoodles

VIP Member
The ‘held captive’ facial expression, the ridiculous heart emoji, the Disney tat, the clutter…

No, John I simply can’t bear any of it!
IMG_5129.jpeg
 
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Ripley Rose Kat

VIP Member
Carrie screams Tory voter but the worst kind ie the kind of person who realised voting Tory is voting for the villains who hate the poor and sick, screwed us all with Brexit and loathe anyone who didn’t go to Eton so she SAYS she’s Labour but she’ll secretly vote Tory
Carrie is working class. Don't you know, her dad worked at the Kodak factory and she went to Disney every year. Oh and went to all girls private school.

She has had a hard life x
 
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Accionoodles

VIP Member
Why don’t they find the time to sit down together and do a live for BC where they explain everything in detail and answer questions that people can post in the live stream 🤷‍♀️

Why, no matter what they attempt do they always seem to be

STRANDED!!!!!!! IN POOR DECISION MAKING!!!!!!! THE CAPTIAL OF INCOMPETENCE!!!!!!
 
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lottiekarotti

Well-known member
Can you imagine Joel posting stuff that alluded to Carrie being ugly, mediocre and fat? She'd explode from the rage 😂
 
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Phil I Buster

VIP Member
People who have a kid and make the kid their whole personality are so weird. They’ll be complaining in a few years “no one ever wants to hang out with me because I’m a parent” nah it’s cause you make the kid your personality. I can hang out with people with kids but if all they talk about is the kid and kid stuff, Im probably going to mentally switch off and be like “uh huh, oh right, no way, haha, that’s crazy”.

Carrie is going that way. Carrie you had a kid, you’re not a medical marvel. Lots of people have kids. Stop trying to make being a MUMMA your brand
This. 100 times over. My friends said before “shall we have a lunch together?” Yes! Wonderful! “We could do it at soft play!”

I’m out.
 
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Okgolightly

VIP Member
Absolutely not, they were at Wicked last week just the two of them, acting super cute. I think Oli knew the orchestra conductor because he stayed behind to introduce him to Alessia. They were almost the last two to leave the auditorium.

But anyway, in Carrie subscriber news, what the actual fuck is this supposed to mean??
View attachment 2934693
It’s giving ✨ primary school poetry ✨
 
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Ellie_Rose

Well-known member
I think you’re all missing the part where Carrie wasn’t interested in a ‘normal’ relationship. Joel was a box-tick exercise for her because she was breaking her neck to ‘win’ at the milestones after breaking up with Oliver 😂 she didn’t care about building anticipation to see him etc because she doesn’t fancy him much. She showed that when she ignored his DMs for years.
 
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salatblader

VIP Member
In that TikTok "vlog" (🙄) she included a clip she apparently sent to Joel at the time because it was the day before their first date and he told her to hurry up (running the 10k) - she gave him the finger and said "Screw you Joel! I'm sloooow". What a charming start to their relationship. Right on brand for them.

Carrie Hope Fletcher #98 "Screw you Joel! I'm sloooow"

Would be a good thread title, though
 
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ThePowderMonkey

Well-known member
I think she needs proper help. I don’t think this over sharing is good for her at all. No one cares. This is the kind of stuff and I’ll tell my mum because she loves me unconditionally but anyone else would think I’d lost the plot
 
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