Carrie Hope Fletcher #97 As Long As No Olivers Need Me

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I smile at babies I don’t know and pull faces at kids because it makes them laugh and I’m a normal human being with empathy who likes seeing children be happy.

It’s literally normal. Who doesn’t smile at kids?
 
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Ok, my sister‘s baby must be incredibly low maintenance, because he (almost five weeks old now) just falls asleep after my sister breastfeeds him and he sleeps perfectly fine in his bed for hours until he wakes up at some point because he’s hungry.
Is little Miss Marple not the easy going baby that sleeps according to Carrie’s enforced schedule after all? Why do we need these updates on when and how she falls asleep, sorry, goes down for her nap?
 
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Can’t believe she mentioned the peloton the day after it was talked about on here hi Carrie
 
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Hi Carrie, you make objectively terrible life choices, and worse, you're really fucking boring
 
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I don’t understand how she seemingly doesn’t know things, that’s most people who have family with young children would know. Either she’s not listened to Gi, thinks she knows better, or her and Gi aren’t close at all.
I don’t get the vibe that they’re super close, anyone else? They never seem to meet up, just the two of them. And we all know they’d both post the shit out of it if they didn’t, and joel would be reposting everyone’s reposting until there’s no space left!

I don’t think beggars call is selling well, I know he’s a very talented actor, but I don’t think carrries fan base are Shakespeare fans. Can you imagine if it’s only a few people? Guarantee Joel will take part!
 
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I think Gi probably finds her hard work, definitely not close but as Gary is reading here she will most likely post a picture of her and Gi in the next day or so

Hi Gary, get a life love, you couldn't get more boring if you tried, nobody cares about your baby, you have no carer, well a one day concert and you have to make your own tour to actually get a job. You really have hit rock bottom in Musical theatre.

Don't worry before you know it, it will be panto season again
 
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Jesus Christ Carrie watch some crappy TV and do some online shopping with Tattle open on one tab (well we know she’s doing that part) like the rest of us on maternity leave when our babies sleep.

Oh no wait she doesn’t do shopping because she’s too tight to even buy a bath thermometer (or is getting skint because she hasn’t been on the West End for 3000000 years, despite having the capability to casually sell out the Palladium)
 
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Me: (dry heaving) if she says the word PUMP One. More. Time.
Carrie: (hold my beer) PUMP AND DUMP!*

*holding forth as usual, but not actually knowing how long alcohol stays in your body before the milk is safe to drink is sooooo educational. Thanks Baby Guru
 
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Tattle: She’s not a #workingmum she sits on her arse all day filming excruciatingly dull videos about herself.
Carrie: (in the regular series known as: ’Address all the points made on Tattle in an attempt to silence the ‘haters’ ’)
Look how BUSY I am. I cook, I work out, I have a book to write. TWO! And a SHOW! AND I HAVE A BAYBEEEE’
#TheOnlyMummaToHaveEverWorkedInTheHistoryOfWork
 
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I’ve held countless friend’s babies, I work with babies, I really like babies, but I’ve fallen in love with precisely none of them. Am I broken? Have I just been meeting really average babies
Maybe try holding one that’s Not Like Other Babies?
 
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I feel we're overdue a Q&A

What’s your favourite ride to do on peloton?

We love our peloton, there’s so many to choose from, I can’t possibly decide!

Has Gi given you lots of advice on the first few weeks with Mabel?

I’ve known Gi since I was a child, she’s definitely like a sister to me. We speak all the time and she’s been so helpful. She even recommended a book to me recently

Joel looks like such a great dad, what’s the best thing about him and marvels connection?

I can’t stop crying when I see them together. He’s such a great dad, he dotes on her I can’t wait to see the two of them at Disney together! He works so so hard, doing to many hours, yet still he comes home and does the first night feed. I then get up with muffin as my hottie of a husband needs to rest after so many long hours at work.


You look great! Have you returned to your pre pregnant weight?

Whilst I appreciate you saying that, I don’t like people commenting on my weight. I’m a size 12/14 and remember you’re made to fit clothes, not the other way around. Please refrain from commenting on people’s appearance
 
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I’m worried how she handles money. She either has more money than god, or she is poor as fuck after blowing it all on Disney.
 
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Just double the word count of your answers and transform them into unreadable, run on sentences and we're there- you are a much better writer than Carrie!
 
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Updated suggestion

Carrie Hope Fletcher #98 - Don't care about the (Lounge) Fly bags that I got, I'm still, im still Carrie from the block
 
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Can’t believe she’s already addressed the pelaton, she really is subscribed to this thread huh
 
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I’m sure Mabel like all young babies is pretty cute, if you like babies, and they probably enjoyed meeting her. But we meet babies all the time and hold them, hardly falling in love
 
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