Caroline Flack

[ChastityDingle]

Anger is quite a natural response to death. Not always of course. But there can be a feeling - amidst sorrow - of why did you leave me, how could you do that to me! Even in the case of say, an elderly parent dying. Or someone who has suffered greatly, and for whom death releases them from that suffering.

I imagine it's magnified in a case where someone has taken their own life. Blaming everyone though and making a tv documentary, especially when Caroline RIP tried to keep her mental health struggles private, seems hugely disrespectful to her memory on the part of her mother. I haven't actually watched it, I'm just going by what I have read and elsewhere.

 

[Sandyclaws]

That could have been done in 1 part not 2. Totally strung out. Couldn’t really see anything new that hadn’t already been confirmed or speculated on. Lou Teasdale has been completely airbrushed out of Caroline’s story.

Lou who gave more of herself than she should ever have had to? At the cost of spending time with her own daughter? Thats bleeping gratitude isnt it

 

[Mrsturnerreturns]

Lou who gave more of herself than she should ever have had to? At the cost of spending time with her own daughter? Thats bleeping gratitude isnt it

I really feel for her. It’s quite shocking how she’s been demoted to ‘a friend’ throughout the whole documentary and her part has not been acknowledged in any way whatsoever. Mollie Grossberg seemed to have spent a lot of time crying in her pieces to camera without any actual tears.

 

[BugglyWuggly]

I'm sure Lou hopefully takes some comfort in knowing that she did everything she could for her. The rest is noise, she's the one that can sleep at night without a guilty conscience.

The mother was on This Morning last week and on Spencer Matthew's podcast today. I'm sure there's more too and papers/magazines. I get she wants to promote it but I have a feeling she's going to be all over the place

 

[Littlemissjade]

Probably not a popular opinion but I feel for caroline. She was obviously in a very bad place mentally and seeing those texts clearly triggered something in her, obviously she shouldn't of hit him, but for him to say to her your ducked now and ring the police hes obviously done that out or rage and anger
Does feel like everyone went on a massive witch hunt for her, because lewis himself didnt want to press charges and wanted eveyrhjng dropped.
Seems to me the police and cps then felt it was getting so much media attention they had to act harshly and charge her, which then set the press off and hunted her down until she had no choice but to end her life, all seems very sad she was very clearly a lost sole and struggled massively

 

[Miss.Chanandler.Bong]

Probably not a popular opinion but I feel for caroline. She was obviously in a very bad place mentally and seeing those texts clearly triggered something in her, obviously she shouldn't of hit him, but for him to say to her your ducked now and ring the police hes obviously done that out or rage and anger
Does feel like everyone went on a massive witch hunt for her, because lewis himself didnt want to press charges and wanted eveyrhjng dropped.
Seems to me the police and cps then felt it was getting so much media attention they had to act harshly and charge her, which then set the press off and hunted her down until she had no choice but to end her life, all seems very sad she was very clearly a lost sole and struggled massively

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but think under UK law you can’t just change your mind and withdraw charges even if you want to. That’s not how it works

 

[GalaxyGirl70]

Hitting him was a choice. My husband has pushed my buttons on more than one occasion in our 32 year marriage but I've never ever wanted to physically hurt him. The day that I do, I'll know it's time to walk.

 

[Yel]

I wish the press would be more accountable with what they actually print! Half of the time it’s not accurate.

I think half the time is very optimistic in their favour!

There's no money in journalism now so they churn out content quickly, spit it out regardless of its accuracy and the chaos it leaves behind before quickly moving on.

 

[ChastityDingle]

Probably not a popular opinion but I feel for caroline.

In fairness, I think most people do feel for her.

 

[Checkthemeaning]

I’ve just watched it too. I massively massively feel that it was blown out of all proportion for whatever reason. BUT she has to be accountable for her own actions - it seems like she’d never dealt with her mental health issues especially in regards to relationships. They always seemed to be full of drama & although the men she met weren’t great, she still chose all of it. We’ve all had to do work on ourselves so we don’t repeat past mistakes in relationships & she just repeated patterns.

 

[Mrsturnerreturns]

In fairness, I think most people do feel for her.

She needed an intervention. Simple as. Her mother has documented that she had been told she had bipolar, multiple suicide attempts since being a young girl, repeated self harm , massive periods of instability. I wouldn’t care how old my child was, if I was at a point where I was actually fearing for their life constantly, I would move heaven and earth to get them the m/h treatment they needed. So has all this now got an element of guilt attached to her mother’s actions. Who knows? But if it was me, I know if I had sat back and my child was no longer here - I would be beside myself.

 

[Ginnyjo]

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but think under UK law you can’t just change your mind and withdraw charges even if you want to. That’s not how it works

Afaik yes, especially if it's categorised as DV.
Her mums behaviour is baffling now, what the end game? Who is she looking to blame? because she seems to be pointing the finger at everyone else without acknowledging that herself and Carolines close family had more of the information/background story than some of her friends, friends who seem to be doing everything they could to support Caroline.
Carolines issues seem to have been going on since childhood when her parents would have been her main care givers, they knew how bad her mental health was and it was a bizarre industry to get into, given how fragile she seemed to be.
I don't understand the want in her Mum to blame everyone, there doesn't seem to be any acknowledgement that no matter how you want to help someone, if they're not open to it, you can't make them. Caroline has been infantilised in the rewritten narrative her Mum is running with, Caroline was an adult who made adult choices, and seems to have been babied since birth by her family.
For her hand wringing now and finger pointing, where was the family? why weren't they all running shifts like her friends were? They knew how bad she had been for decades, and I really don't want to blame her family, but given how shes blaming everyone else, it does leave that question hanging, where were you, why wasn't Caroline under better treatment as a teen if it's as bad as her mother is saying now?

Theres an absolute whiff of mourn porn off this whole spectacle, we've had how many documentaries? How many interviews? How many 'IF YOU ONLY KNEW' statements?
If Caroline was so worried about being exposed by the crime scene pics being published, how would she feel about her life being exposed like this, her personal texts, her absolute worst fears?
I just can't fathom how a parent thinks this is a way to keep her memory alive.

 

[Ablemabel]

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but think under UK law you can’t just change your mind and withdraw charges even if you want to. That’s not how it works

You are technically correct. This pressing charges thing is a nonsense. CPS decide whether to prosecute based on evidence. Obviously it doesn't help if the accuser won't cooperate but thats not neccessrily the end go things.

 

[Sandyclaws]

Im just starting to watch this now.

For someone who was so paranoid about people finding out whats in her phone/her inner thoughts/ feelings, why oh why would her family think revealing all of these details is what she would have wanted?
Like she ended her own life because she was so concerned about what would come out in court and public opinion........ why on earth would any of her loved ones think this would be what would honour her



Edited to add: the message thd mother sent on her anniversary "what some people drove you to".

Noone except Caroline and her own actions drove her to this.

As someone who has survived a suicide attempt, yes there were external factors that got too much, but it was something *I* attempted, and hoped to succeed in.

 

[ChastityDingle]

If Caroline was so worried about being exposed by the crime scene pics being published, how would she feel about her life being exposed like this, her personal texts, her absolute worst fears?
I just can't fathom how a parent thinks this is a way to keep her memory alive.

Exactly.
I said similar upthread. Caroline wanted to keep her mental health struggles private - now her mother is laying everything bare. How does that add up? Far better get involved with advocating for better mental health services or suchlike.

 

[Ablemabel]

I’ve just watched it too. I massively massively feel that it was blown out of all proportion for whatever reason. BUT she has to be accountable for her own actions - it seems like she’d never dealt with her mental health issues especially in regards to relationships. They always seemed to be full of drama & although the men she met weren’t great, she still chose all of it. We’ve all had to do work on ourselves so we don’t repeat past mistakes in relationships & she just repeated patterns.

I agree. I'm watching it now. It's painful because I don't feel it's independent at all and it won't achieve anything other than more pain.

I'd completely forgotten she had been engaged to that twit Andrew Brady.

 

[Kittylover2019]

Someone correct me if I’m wrong but think under UK law you can’t just change your mind and withdraw charges even if you want to. That’s not how it works

That is correct. I know of a situation locally where an assault took place, the victim wanted to drop the charges but the Police said no way and they continued with the prosecution.

 

[Topaz]

I wish the press would be more accountable with what they actually print! Half of the time it’s not accurate. Surely they know whether it was a bloody lamp or phone she hit him with? Yes that doesn’t excuse what she did at all but they should at least have to report accurately! Personally I’d also rather people thought I self harmed, rather than it looking like I bashed someone so badly with a lamp, there was blood everywhere!

It sadly says a lot about her warped priorities that she would rather be thought of as a domestic abuser than as a self-harmer.

The 'Be Kind' stuff got really hijacked by celebrities in the years after as a way to shut down any criticism of themselves. It wasn't even a thing she actually said, it was a platitude she reposted on her instagram.

People should be kind, and decent, and considerate of others but it's actions that show you mean that not just the words. Is it something she actually lived by or something she thought looked good on the gram?

The way it's been overused and lost all meaning isn't her fault. In a world where you could be anything, she chose to be thought of as someone capable of domestic violence instead of setting the record straight, which is bewilderingly sad.

 

[Boogs]

I wonder if all this has guilt at the root of it. Her mum seems so desperate to blame someone for what happened to Caroline rather than looking at Caroline’s own actions and decisions and what role she could have played. Babying Caroline certainly did not equip her with the emotional maturity needed to regulate her emotions and she didn’t seem to have any resilience. If 40 year old Lewis had woken up 27 year old Caroline by smacking her in the head with something resulting in extensive bleeding you can bet that her mum would be wanting him charged. It’s a sad outcome and I am sure the media could have handled things differently but ultimately everything that happened was a result of Caroline’s actions and choices.

 

[duffy1234]

very sad