Carly Burd #5 (No) Salt and Vinegar

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I think Michael Caine would make a good Colin (if he's still alive?) Who's going to play Wayne?
 
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Julian Barrett might do a good Wayne - possible gold-digger, more enthusiasm than skill in the diy department, and routinely farts in bed
 
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do your kids not drink water then carlz? Or breathe air? Or consume, use, wear, or literally do anything with anything? What about all those drugs you need, both prescribed and otherwise - how do you think they work?
bet they’re in the kebab shop every time she turns her back
 
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Actually I'd like to un-nominate Ralf (by text, as retribution for his support of Monroe. Apologies Ralf.)

As Wayne has shown he is a master at everything he puts his hand to, be it graphic design, bird and plant husbandry, web design, farting in bed in the morning, he's probably an Oscar worthy actor. I think he should play himself
 
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Actually I'd like to un-nominate Ralf (by text, as retribution for his support of Monroe. Apologies Ralf.)

As Wayne has shown he is a master at everything he puts his hand to, be it graphic design, bird and plant husbandry, web design, farting in bed in the morning, he's probably an Oscar worthy actor. I think he should play himself
have we actually heard anything of Wayne lately? Perhaps he’s taken off. Probably to a beach in Mexico.
 
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I think Julia Davis would be great as Carly, Carlzz reminds me of the woman from Nighty Night. The whole Carlzz saga is like a Julia Davis script in fact.
 
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These people make me despair at the state of much of humanity. I used to think I was pretty stupid, but I feel like a genius following the Carlzberg.
 
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Every town has a type of food that it's well known for, in Harlow its Red Bull and Dorito's for the kids, and Pringles and White Lightening for those over the age of 12.

She's talking bullshit with all that vegetable talk.
 
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Forget The Saltening, I fear a more subtle happening is imminent in C**** Land.

Behold!

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I've just had a look at C***y Carlz facebook as her mind boggling stupidity and incompetence had me wondering if she's ever done an actual job (i.e. work in exchange for money not FOR FREE).
Discovered this horror story:
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