Bryony Farmer #2 A baby is for life, not just before/after Christmas

[GuiltySnarker]

I really need to stop watching that last video was a mess. I was also waiting for her to acknowledge how privileged her setup is and how atypical that much help is, but nope! It's great that she doesn't feel the pressure to be a perfect parent, but 'as long as i'm doing better than abusive parents who have their children removed from them' should not be her bar for success...

She said the tiredness has been fine because she had a chronic illness so knows how to deal with it - didn't she leave a holiday with friends a day early because her baby stopped sleeping through the no night there?!

I also disliked how much she emphasised that the bond with her baby was about him being biologically hers. It's fine to want biological children but I'm sure foster and adoptive parents can also be fiercely protective of their children.

 

[Withwhat]

I also disliked how much she emphasised that the bond with her baby was about him being biologically hers. It's fine to want biological children but I'm sure foster and adoptive parents can also be fiercely protective of their children.

I know she’s trying to emphasise the difference between foster children and her own child, but it’s a strange way to phrase it when he’s donor conceived. There’s a man out there he may never meet who has an equal biological connection to him. Bryony hated the process of being pregnant, she just likes that he looks like her.

 

[sunniva]

Sorry but when is she going to realise she won’t make it as an influencer. The failed tiktok style reels and now click bait videos. Her engagement is absolutely tanking recently even though she is the ‘job’ she came back from maternity leave for.

Despite her crackhead life decisions she is very bland, often uncomfortable to watch and I think it’s pretty easy to see through her ~relatable mum~ veneer. Even if most people aren’t on gossip forums talking about her, the drop in viewers says a lot about how she’s being received at large by her past audience / new audience. I’m actually lost as to who she’s aiming to reach really. I just can’t imagine other parents being interesting in self-congratulating, know-it-all hot takes from a 26 year old virgin co-parenting with her own elderly mother.

 

[sarr19]

as someone who recently lost a sibling i would NOT be happy seeing his name on a card. it would trigger me too much, it’s too painful sometimes seeing his name. i would be upset. ASK THE PERSON if they want that AND DONT GIVE ADVICE YOU HAVE 0 EXPERIENCE ON! (sorry needed to rant about that & totally get why some people would want a name, but i don’t like her giving advice like she’s been thru it & assume it’s the best thing to do when for some people, like myself and my parents it’s the worst thing for us!)

 

[Dragon100]

as someone who recently lost a sibling i would NOT be happy seeing his name on a card. it would trigger me too much, it’s too painful sometimes seeing his name. i would be upset. ASK THE PERSON if they want that AND DONT GIVE ADVICE YOU HAVE 0 EXPERIENCE ON! (sorry needed to rant about that & totally get why some people would want a name, but i don’t like her giving advice like she’s been thru it & assume it’s the best thing to do when for some people, like myself and my parents it’s the worst thing for us!)

I absolutely agree, I lost a cousin suddenly a week before Christmas and it was hard on her husband a 3 children obviously, but wasn't made any easier by recieving cards with her name on - it couldn't be helped as cards were already in the postal system as I said it was sudden.

 

[Soapy]

as someone who recently lost a sibling i would NOT be happy seeing his name on a card. it would trigger me too much, it’s too painful sometimes seeing his name. i would be upset. ASK THE PERSON if they want that AND DONT GIVE ADVICE YOU HAVE 0 EXPERIENCE ON! (sorry needed to rant about that & totally get why some people would want a name, but i don’t like her giving advice like she’s been thru it & assume it’s the best thing to do when for some people, like myself and my parents it’s the worst thing for us!)

Sending you a hug, im sorry for your loss. And I agree. Typical Bryony though, an immediate expert on all things she discovers, this one being grief and the loss of a child. She never fails to one up herself with her ridiculous behaviour.

 

[thegoodnaysayer]

as someone who recently lost a sibling i would NOT be happy seeing his name on a card. it would trigger me too much, it’s too painful sometimes seeing his name. i would be upset. ASK THE PERSON if they want that AND DONT GIVE ADVICE YOU HAVE 0 EXPERIENCE ON! (sorry needed to rant about that & totally get why some people would want a name, but i don’t like her giving advice like she’s been thru it & assume it’s the best thing to do when for some people, like myself and my parents it’s the worst thing for us!)

I find things like this so odd, generally. I would absolutely hate to receive a card with the name of someone I lost on. It would feel to me like a cruel reminder that they weren't here?! There's loads of stuff like this on Instagram though that seems to come from people trying to use their loss as a money making exercise. I find it really uncomfortable and distasteful but it doesn't surprise me that Bryony doesn't feel the same way.

 

[sarr19]

Sending you a hug, im sorry for your loss. And I agree. Typical Bryony though, an immediate expert on all things she discovers, this one being grief and the loss of a child. She never fails to one up herself with her ridiculous behaviour.

Thankyou It’s quite upsetting really seeing someone with no clue what’s it’s like giving “expert advice“ on a HORRENDOUS situation! I really do hope she never experiences that kind of loss, same goes to anyone really.

I find things like this so odd, generally. I would absolutely hate to receive a card with the name of someone I lost on. It would feel to me like a cruel reminder that they weren't here?! There's loads of stuff like this on Instagram though that seems to come from people trying to use their loss as a money making exercise. I find it really uncomfortable and distasteful but it doesn't surprise me that Bryony doesn't feel the same way.

I agree, if someone did that to me I would be heartbroken, super distressed and upset I’d also think they forgot I lost my brother. I’ve seen some things on instagram about people losing someone close, I do feel some it’s just to get more £££.
Personally I could never share my experiences because it’s so upsetting… I don’t want strangers knowing my personal information etc. (don’t mind too much her as I’m fairly anonymous lol and im not going to go in much detail about it)
Bryony just loves jumping on a bandwagon no matter what, even if it’s something she doesn’t know! And thinks she’s the expert!

Sorry everyone it’s made me so angry looking at that post, just wish she’d think before she posts or not at all on something that doesn’t apply to her!

 

[sunniva]

I find the cooking content very confusing. On one hand she’s saying she ‘’cba’’ to cook for her baby and ‘’Ella’s kitchen can take my money!!’’. Both direct quotes from stories recently. On the other hand we’re getting quite weirdly convoluted vegetable pancakes and puff pastry rolls with carrot purée etc etc. (not necessarily saying they’re impressive but it’s clearly foreign territory for her and very much copied from other mummy influencers) - plus tonight her humble brag that she has been so focused on cooking for O, she unfortunately hasn’t made homemade bread for herself in ages Bryony PLEASE - we all know well and good her pre-baby diet consisted mainly of pot noodles and cereal.

There’s no middle ground for Bryony because she’s just mimicking and signalling virtues she doesn’t have. Am I unreasonable to think most families just offer appropriate amounts of whatever healthy meals they’re eating, in whatever form goes with their method of weaning?

 

[anything at all]

I find the cooking content very confusing. On one hand she’s saying she ‘’cba’’ to cook for her baby and ‘’Ella’s kitchen can take my money!!’’. Both direct quotes from stories recently. On the other hand we’re getting quite weirdly convoluted vegetable pancakes and puff pastry rolls with carrot purée etc etc. (not necessarily saying they’re impressive but it’s clearly foreign territory for her and very much copied from other mummy influencers) - plus tonight her humble brag that she has been so focused on cooking for O, she unfortunately hasn’t made homemade bread for herself in ages Bryony PLEASE - we all know well and good her pre-baby diet consisted mainly of pot noodles and cereal.

There’s no middle ground for Bryony because she’s just mimicking and signalling virtues she doesn’t have. Am I unreasonable to think most families just offer appropriate amounts of whatever healthy meals they’re eating, in whatever form goes with their method of weaning?

I can almost relate with her on weaning because I’ve tried making all sorts of baby led weaning bits that get rejected and I just think sod it, Ellas pouches it is. But then I still keep trying to make all these silly bits I see on baby led weaning pages anyway.

You are right though, it’s better to make up some form of whatever you’re eating if you can. Though it’s a bit hard if whatever she’s eating is a pot noodle lol.

 

[smoothie]

I think the difference is that she's doing it for public consumption. She can't decide if she's playing a feminist that CBA making home-cooked meals just because society says so (not that it could be for health reasons or anything), or if she finds it so hard and wants pity (sob sob, link below to donate), or if she feels embarrassed after she's revealed she can't cope so then she has to revert to being 'perfect mum' again. It all seems very performative related to whatever media she's consumed recently and whatever image she's trying to portray on the day. She's trying out different things to see which is most successful for her (financially and for her ego).

The know it all attitude from an idiot would be intolerable in a baby group, I bet they can't wait till they get shot of her.

 

[Kikifluffypolarbear]

The whole 'mum who cba' shtick was popular about 10 years ago, eg. Hurrah for Gin. There's much more of a shift nowadays towards aspirational mums or at least those who appear to have it together but in a relatable way and how they manage it, like moon and rue's weaning content. Bryony is riding on her past reputation/viewership at the moment but I just don't think she's sincere or relatable as a mum vlogger and people will see through that.

 

[Prinnywoo]

If she is planning on doing social media ‘part-time’ as her only career and it keeps going how it is, presumably all her luxuries (holidays etc) are going to be paid for by her parents until she gets her inheritance from them, which will then bankroll the rest of her life but surely will run out eventually. I don’t see how she is ever going to provide the same level of financial support for Oryn? He is going to grow up seeing their lifestyle and how little work his mum does, and I can’t see Bryony instilling a strong work ethic in him given her own. How is she going to explain that if he does what she does, he is going to struggle financially for his whole life. If she goes the whole ‘it’s because I’m a single mum’ route it can only cause resentment from him. It will be interesting to see how everything plays out but I can’t see how Oryn can grow up into a well-rounded, sociable and independent person when the only family influence he has is Bryony and her parents who turned her into what she is.

 

[Withwhat]

I also hope that he turns out well rounded and happy. But I worry that if he’s very different to Bryony in key ways ( very academically ambitious or really into sports) she’ll freak out entirely and won’t cope. She chose to spin the genetic wheel.
Most people would want a very different life to the one bryonys made for herself, so I could easily see it happening.
she made some comment on her last video about how a lot of her parents peers don’t have a great relationship with their children. I wonder if she’s given any thought with what she’ll do with him when he’s an adult and she can no longer support him financially. Would she get on as well with her own parents if they didn’t bank roll her?

 

[GuiltySnarker]

Interesting announcement from Hannah Witton (who Bryony collaborated with recently) that she's putting an end to her online sex ed content as she feels 'she's said everything she has to say'. She's moving into freelance project management for other creators because although she enjoys vlogging she doesn't want that to be her only income stream/feels uncomfortable with her personal life becoming the main product.

Seems like Bryony could learn a lot here Anything that could be considered education on becoming a single parent by choice seems to have quickly devolved into tired 'day in the life with a baby' posts and Q&As. I can't remember the last time she produced valuable content about reproductive health. It really seems like she thinks she can make it as a mummy vlogger.

 

[juy7nhio]

Does anyone else wonder about her mum? I feel the mum is behind a lot of this, and they have a codependent relationship where her mum realises Bryony is a bit odd and a bit vulnerable perhaps, and wants to give her the easiest ride through the system and keep her close by.

 

[sunniva]

Did anyone get through the slog that was her breastfeeding video? It's tricky to know what is really true from her account of it, and maybe O does have a cows milk allergy, but regardless I noticed major Munchausens red flags from her narrative of it, and was shocked to find it follows the exact same pattern of her own health and relationship to professionals. It mirrors her past behaviour as a teenager and in her early 20s, then in her pregnancy and she's doing it to Oryn as we all predicted. Nothing is clinically wrong but Bryony has some ''concerns'' over mild/vague symptoms (most of which are just normal life - period pain, fatigue, nausea, low milk supply). She reaches out to professionals who confirm nothing is wrong, but reassure her they'll monitor it. She expresses frustration and seeks new opinions. She gets the attention / prescription she wants for a short time, the symptoms subside, and then the problem returns in a slightly different way and she seeks a new opinion.

The other major Munchausens red flags, by her own account:

a) All of his initial symptoms are mild, vague or within normal. She reports that numerous people over 12 weeks told her his latch was good, he didn't have tongue tie, his weight wasn't worrying, and she was recommended many times to feed and pump more to increase supply.
b) In the periods when his health/weight is stable and things are going well, she reports spontaneously feeling that'll something is wrong and seeks a new medical opinion. For a healthy baby with no concerning symptoms (by her own account), she sought opinions from multiple midwives, a private cranial osteopath, an online lactation consultant, a specific health visitor, a weigh-in clinic, La Leche League, a drop in breastfeeding class, her NHS GP, then a private GP to prescribe the meds she was previously refused. That's 10+ people. I know many specialists are involved in infant health but the concern for me is the deliberate shopping around for new opinions after multiple people had said O was healthy and had well established feeding.
c) It was when she reported being left unmonitored that O's symptoms dramatically worsen and he lost a large amount of weight quickly.

Other red flags are that the insinuated problem / his symptoms changed multiple times in her story. Initially, the latch, then her supply, then an allergy. I get they're all common issues but she blurs them into one. Also note she initially blames his latch being disrupted by a dummy, which she gave him at just a couple of days old because he was 'grisly' hungry and she needed to sleep. So even in the hospital she's admitting to feed-restrictive behaviour. She also says later he had symptoms she ''doesn't want to make public'' (as if the poor boy's health and very conception haven't been exploited for the past year and a half). To me, it's just a way to keep it vague and hide a potential lie. She knows cows milk allergies have more symptoms than just poor weight gain. But it's only his weight she can manipulate, so that's the only symptom she talks in depth about.

I'm sorry to say that I genuinely believe that she is/was feed restricting him. I don't think this is the last we'll hear about his allergy. As he gets older she will report more symptoms, seek more opinions, his symptoms will shift over time, then she'll need even more opinions and that's how it will keep going. He'll also be on whatever meds she chooses.

 

[anything at all]

That’s sad if it’s true but she does seem incredibly selfish so sadly I could believe it

 

[sunniva]

Also completely forgot to mention how she talked about the final incident / his dramatic weight loss. She had been advised multiple times to continue pumping at night and in the day to keep her supply high, and said he was gaining weight consistently that way. The health visitor (the individual she had demanded to have additional appointments with) had confirmed O was doing well and left them both unmonitored for a few weeks. Then at 14 weeks, Bryony started the pill again which she claims reduced her supply, and that's when his weight dropped. But also admits she was no longer pumping because she was busy dealing with his sleep regression. So she admits actively stopping the thing which had successfully stabilised his weigh, muddles the story by saying it was due to the pill, and also somehow his sudden onset allergy?

The story is just not straight, and in the midst of these jumbled explanations for his weight loss, she completely brushes over the fact she stopped pumping which is the one thing all of the professionals had repeatedly told her to do. She says ''I guess we'll never know what happened''. She knew full well.

 

[jiggy_girl]

Not being funny, but as someone who wants kids (I do want to breastfeed), if my child was losing weight, I would be switching to formula the first time it became obvious something wasn't right. As in, week two. That poor boy must have been starving, and she chose to put her own desire to breastfeed over him. She's taking a massive amount of pills to feed him. It's just disgusting.