i mean, i don't wanna ruin the anticipation of babs' christmas reshashes, but i predict that december will consist of;
- the hot cock stand - along with an explanation that "cock" refers to hot chocolate/cocktails/diet coke - which will comprise of marshmallows, candy-canes, chocolates, paper straws, that body positive "calories don't count at christmas" sign, fake plastic cream toppers, an array of sprinkles, multiple plastic tat ornaments and a tub of options hot chocolate on the side, because she's one classy lady. she'll also ask all the babettes to tag her in any photos of the hot chocolate stands SHE inspired them to put together.
- a photo of the kids posing with mugs of hot chocolate, will i assume babs will down the moment the photo is taken, as we all know the kids only like hot milk.
- babs showing off the conway collection of advent calendars - one for erin, one for ethan, six for babs #gifted
- a reel featuring babs writing song lyrics on her chin and concealed double chin in red felt tip, and revealing the remaining lyrics timed with a song as she scrunches her neck.
- babs complaining about the green candles in her wankee advent calendar.
- babs lying on the kitchen floor covered in a huge array of christmas snacks, supposedly as a "treat" for steve, yet entirely missing the point that she's super-privileged flaunting her christmas food when so many families are struggling.
- a mention of steve being king of the roasts while he poses awkwardly in his inflatable crown - probs part of an ad for aunt Bessie's roasties.
- the yearly reminder that babs doesn't like gravy, and anyone who does is a MONSTER.
- nonsensical christmas polls that she'll fail to share the answers to - mariah carey vs mince pies? gary barlow vs tinsel? elf vs sprouts?
- a daily update of
her steve's elf-on-the-shelf "creativity" for the toddlers - until she gets bored of it after day three.
- the random middle-of-the-night "
tit, i forget to move the ruddy elf!" gurning selfie.
- steve's tradition of filling erin's bedroom with balloons while she sleeps - a father/daughter birthday tradition - plus a photo of the room with the eights of while erin pretends to sleep. followed by a response to" ALL"the messages she supposedly received clarifying that her kids sleep through
anything.
- a post about babs getting "creative" and using her cricut to label christmas presents.
- a rehashed wedding anniversary post, featuring the photo of her dancing with gormless steve, while his face says "what the hell have i just done...?!"
- babs sharing her top tip that the best hot chocolate is made b adding a dash of milk to your options hot chocolate powder -
and a generous splash of baileys, despite the fact its mid-afternoon.
- babs posing aggressively clutching whatever festive bottles of baileys she's managed to get her trotters on this year.
- endless photos of margot wearing various christmas jumpers, an elf outfit, a santa hat etc etc.
- babs covered in chocolate after refusing to share a selection box, accompanied by a poll clarifying that one entire selection box definitely counts as "a portion".
- babs posing with her birthday cake and candles at 4am in the morning, because content comes first.
- an "old school" birthday present haul on YouTube.
- a family photo in which the conways are wearing matching pyjamas, in which babs is coincidentally concealing her gunt, because the true-to-size size 18 pyjamas are too small.
- babs showing off her latest christmas bedding that will remain on the bed for the entire month of december.
- babs promising to show a christmas mug a day, yet only managing to stick it out for three days - probs one rae dun, one emma bridgewater and the obligatory disney festive mug.
the obligatory "look at the gift bag of tat i burden the kids' teachers with each year" vlog, accompanied by a post of the kids writing christmas cards to their classmates, and babs letting everyone know that always adds a candy-cane or a chocolate coin to every envelope.
- a photo of babs clutching her gnome collection, and repeating the story of why she calls them g-nomies.
sorry to have ruined the magic of christmas for you cowbags! i'm sure i've missed stuff though, so there's still festive treats in store!
. It’d be just my luck to be sat next to her 
