Brummy Mummy #15 Emma Conway is smashing the Amazon chart one minute and Mickey’s face the next

[Tigercat55]

My name is Brummy
I’m utterly scummy,
I wet wipe my bits,
And wear sweaty tights up to my tits,
All day long on my arse I am sat,
Except when I’m out buying tat,
One day imagine my glee,
A publisher contacted me!
So I wrote a poetry book,
That will make you quite shook (eth)

 

[MrsBriggs]

“I’ll never be a mummy,
But I’ve got a huge tummy,
It’s certainly not yummy,
Some might call it scummy,
The reason you see -
Life saving surgery
But I’m sure you’d agree
Why read about ME??
I just strive to be
A person with integrity”

(1st poem done. 76 to go......)

 

[NeilthebabyNeil]

“I’ll never be a mummy,
But I’ve got a huge tummy,
It’s certainly not yummy,
Some might call it scummy,
The reason you see -
Life saving surgery
But I’m sure you’d agree
Why read about ME??
I just strive to be
A person with integrity”

(1st poem done. 76 to go......)

Mrs Briggs your posts really make me smile! And not just because for some reason although I know you probably aren't a cat, I picture you exactly like your profile pic...a cat in a bonnet typing poems! I'm a newbie but a long time lurker and I think you've handled the babs/stalker steve situation perfectly!

 

[Vodkawithcocacola]

Prepare to cringe!

Shouldn't it be 'tights go right up to my tits' not tit?!

WOW! This is a joke right? It reads like the inside of a 59p birthday card. honestly I can’t say I care for the woman and do not like how she comes across but I went into reading it with an open mind. If it was amusing I would hold my hands up. You have to respect someone’s skills and work. But I can’t find a single positive thing to say. It Doesn’t even give me a “we are all in this together” kind of vibe that I assume she intended. So much rage.. there are so many genuinely hard working talented writers who would give their right arm for the opportunity to get their work out there. yet stuff like this is what they get declined for.

 

[Emlii]

This meme popped up on my insta and I instantly thought of brummy

 

[MrsBriggs]

Mrs Briggs your posts really make me smile! And not just because for some reason although I know you probably aren't a cat, I picture you exactly like your profile pic...a cat in a bonnet typing poems! I'm a newbie but a long time lurker and I think you've handled the babs/stalker steve situation perfectly!

Not seen ‘Sharon & Phil’ for a while now.
I’m guessing they’ve been told by their inept management company to keep off my patch & stop breathing on my windows!
Bizarrely enough I do have a cat who’s hobby is typing poems whilst wearing a bonnet.
My other cat is a cool dude who plays jazz piano, smoking roll ups in his beret....

 

[NeilthebabyNeil]

Not seen ‘Sharon & Phil’ for a while now.
I’m guessing they’ve been told by their inept management company to keep off my patch & stop breathing on my windows!
Bizarrely enough I do have a cat who’s hobby is typing poems whilst wearing a bonnet.
My other cat is a cool dude who plays jazz piano, smoking roll ups in his beret....

Thrilled with this information

 

[zeatrix83]

Mrs Briggs your posts really make me smile! And not just because for some reason although I know you probably aren't a cat, I picture you exactly like your profile pic...a cat in a bonnet typing poems! I'm a newbie but a long time lurker and I think you've handled the babs/stalker steve situation perfectly!

I imagine her as a cat too tbh.

 

[Nadurath]

I think from that poem it’s pretty clear there will be one about smashing her husband’s face in...

Piles of washing everywhere,
It’s like my husband doesn’t care.
Try and start an new routine,
One load a day in the machine.
When Ste forgets, I try and take it on the chin,
But really I just want to smash his stupid face in.

 

[Ihatepeonies]

Only just seen the paper. Came here to say

“bleeping HELL that poem is first year English at best. What an embarrassment for her.”

then saw all the genius on this thread!

there was an old twit named brummy
Who made an instagram, thinking she’s funny
Her poems, they suck
How’d she write a book?
Please don’t give her your hard earned money

 

[Cliqueypedia]

Well that poem has ruined my day

 

[Pinko]

WOW! This is a joke right? It reads like the inside of a 59p birthday card. honestly I can’t say I care for the woman and do not like how she comes across but I went into reading it with an open mind. If it was amusing I would hold my hands up. You have to respect someone’s skills and work. But I can’t find a single positive thing to say. It Doesn’t even give me a “we are all in this together” kind of vibe that I assume she intended. So much rage.. there are so many genuinely hard working talented writers who would give their right arm for the opportunity to get their work out there. yet stuff like this is what they get declined for.

It's like those Purple Ronnie cards ot whatever they were called !

 

[EyesOpened123]

Her post about basically ignoring development checks with a health visitor has really annoyed me. If she knew how hard health visitors work and how much effort behind the scenes goes into those checks she might feel differently. Children get referred for all sorts of things at those checks - it’s not about telling Mums smugly that their child is ‘behind’. It’s also where Mums often disclose problems at home, financial, domestic abuse, housing issues, poverty etc. She just has no clue about anything....branding health visitors as ‘annoying’ is just not on at all. NHS workers get very little back, so to be branded pointless and annoying by her is really not nice.

 

[Frogfrogfrog]

Looks like she has decided it is safer to share blog posts from 2015 rather than write new ones. It kind of feels like blogging has had its day now, so many people who started off blogging don’t update their blogs anymore.

 

[Good Egg]

Her post about basically ignoring development checks with a health visitor has really annoyed me. If she knew how hard health visitors work and how much effort behind the scenes goes into those checks she might feel differently. Children get referred for all sorts of things at those checks - it’s not about telling Mums smugly that their child is ‘behind’. It’s also where Mums often disclose problems at home, financial, domestic abuse, housing issues, poverty etc. She just has no clue about anything....branding health visitors as ‘annoying’ is just not on at all. NHS workers get very little back, so to be branded pointless and annoying by her is really not nice.

What she fails to realise is that Health Visitors are actually qualified midwifes. They are there to support and provide aftercare once a baby is born.
She is a joke. She has no idea how damaging her comments are.

Also in other ranting news how very dare she jump on the escape to the chateau bandwagon. I bloody love that show with all my heart. I’m guessing Ethan and Erin love that programme as it shows them what a normal, loving family looks like which is far from the utter tit show they’re provided at home.

@MrsBriggs love you and your posts. You are awesome x

 

[Spuddylit]

Wtf is period cake? Actually I don't want to know.

 

[Allusernamesiputinaretook]

It's like those Purple Ronnie cards ot whatever they were called !

Haha don’t give her ideas she will be sending image rethinks to publisher for purple Ronnie stick people with cracking racks

 

[Frogfrogfrog]

Wtf is period cake? Actually I don't want to know.

Think it is basically buying cake to have as a treat so nothing that gross!
It is an idea she heard from someone else at a show she did in October with some other bloggers. She had copied the idea and will now repeat it every month as she has no original ideas.

 

[Allusernamesiputinaretook]

Think it is basically buying cake to have as a treat so nothing that gross!
It is an idea she heard from someone else at a show she did in October with some other bloggers. She had copied the idea and will now repeat it every month as she has no original ideas.

My baby girl started her periods this week , sorry if tmi lol but I’m kind of anonymous on here , anyway she has autism so I’m beyond proud of her for coping so well bless her, I asked her if she wanted period cake to celebrate.....she said that was weird and she’s right .....but she did enjoy a lovely bar of chocolate and I told her that was perfectly acceptable and told her she can have a bar for the next 40 years

 

[MadMaryHinge]

My baby girl started her periods this week , sorry if tmi lol but I’m kind of anonymous on here , anyway she has autism so I’m beyond proud of her for coping so well bless her, I asked her if she wanted period cake to celebrate.....she said that was weird and she’s right .....but she did enjoy a lovely bar of chocolate and I told her that was perfectly acceptable and told her she can have a bar for the next 40 years

Aww a massive Well done to your daughter. My eldest has autism/pda and I am anxiously waiting as puberty has definitely started and I don't know how she will handle her first period, so I know where you are coming from.