Brummy Mummy #15 Emma Conway is smashing the Amazon chart one minute and Mickey’s face the next

[MrsBriggs]

Just a little ‘number’ BM may want to consider for any future publications - perhaps a “Sing a’ Long a’ Brummy” book??
Ahem.....(clears throat)
“If your husband stalks your neighbour clap your hands
If your husband stalks your neighbour clap your hands
If your husband stalks your neighbour & displays some weird behaviour
If your husband stalks your neighbour clap your hands “

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

 

[Sponfused]

Domestic violence can be funny with context PEEPS! LIGHTEN UP!

 

[Allusernamesiputinaretook]

I agree
Mumsnet is a nest of vipers

I’m far braver on here admitting stuff than mumsnet......a once mentioned on there fruit shoots and Greggs sausage rolls for my kids growing up (as a treat obs not as a daily meal) , I’d have been better received if I’d said I was Rose West

 

[MrsBriggs]

Don't some men get off on other people looking at their wives? Maybe taking naked photos of her is actually something he enjoys. Secret swingers perhaps

Maybe that wasn’t a ‘death stare’ I received but a smouldering ‘come to bed’ one

 

[MrsBriggs]

BREAKING NEWS!!
BM’s long suffering pyjamas seen escaping from the house & making their way across the park towards the local launderette.
A witness, who wishes to remain anonymous, claims she saw the Matalan sleepwear moving furtively from tree to tree, clutching a Persil Colour Capsule & a bottle of Lenor.
“I’ve never seen the like!” she told us. “I was walking to the newsagents when a strange, odour hit my nose - sort of like something had died, in a horrible way. I looked behind me & there they were! The poor pj’s looked in a terrible state. It’s disgusting how people treat their nightwear these days. I just hope they got their 40 degree synthetic wash in time!”
A helpline has been set up for those who witnessed this appalling scene.

 

[zeatrix83]

‘It’s nearly broken me’ is she having a fucking laugh?! What about the men, women and children who are ACTUALLY broken because they live with domestic violence every day? What about the man who has been kicked down the stairs by his wife, breaking his arm and has to pretend to his mates he tripped up while they all laugh about how ‘clumsy’ he is? What about the child who sees their mothers being beaten by their fathers? Those people are broken - physically, mentally and emotionally. You are just having a strop and been FORCED to apologise. You had no intentions of apologising or saying anything before the articles. Your ‘exclusive’ interview with the metro was probably wrote by someone else because you are not sorry you offended anyone. You. Are. Disgusting.

 

[MrsBriggs]

@Suzesnooze I’m beaten, broken, shooketh & in need of private therapy. I would go & sit in the shower, fully clothed (#gifted Matalan - their Mental Breakdown range) but my husband is in there already - wearing a Reindeer suit of all things.....

 

[Gl1tt3rUn1c0rn]

ive really enjoyed reading all of the poems on here. This is my rubbish attempt

My name is Emma I write poems what rhyme,
Hubby does all the childcare that’s. how. I . have. the. time.
I just google words that rhyme with tit,
to pad my poem out a bit.
”Ste, give the kids some tea”, “Ste, give the kids a bath”,
I need to post pictures of my wobbly bits, it’s all such a laugh.

 

[MrsBriggs]

What happened with MrsBriggs?

I emailed her management company yesterday & told them everything in full detail.
Not heard a dickie bird which explains a lot about the whole dodgy set up

 

[Sydney.bourn]

What’s he like @Sydney.bourn ? Nice guy or the same as her?

Very quiet but apparently a really nice guy, hubby asked him about his wife said I followed her and he denied it said I don’t know what you’re talking about she’s a stay at home mom.
Apparently on an office night out some of them ended up going to a strip club and brummy found the receipts

 

[MrsBriggs]

My attempt at a new thread:

Poetry to sell. A neck to get well. Give Stephen hell. And her pj’s still smell.

 

[MrsBriggs]

Now I know where I was going wrong. Now I know why I’ve struggled with the day to day running of my house. Now I know why I’ve spent hours, lying flat out in my shower cubicle, sobbing & shaking in my midi skirt & Gary Barlow sweater.
The answer was clear:
A plastic container for storing plastic bottles of squash.
My life is now complete

 

[Emlii]

New thread idea #she’s not a poet, why doesn’t she know it

 

[MrsBriggs]

She'll probably do a vlog crying like Mrs Meldrum did and say 'I don't think I can do this anymore, the trolls are destroying me' and then all her 101K minions will message her feeding her ego.

Truth of the matter is, I think she’s destroying herself by showing so much of her life, on screen, every day.
Even famous people, ie. the Beckhams, have their public life & their private one - there has to be a distinction between the two. BM has lost all sense of this & her private & public lives have blurred into one huge, goddam sticky mess.
I blame her management:
“Yeah! The kids in swimsuits is a great idea Emma!”
“Partially naked in the bath? Go for it!”
“Telling everyone about your sleeping arrangements? Why not!”
“Hmm, I’m liking the idea of 77 shite poems...”
She’s putting herself, & her family, in the firing line - daily!
Sad thing is she’s too stuck up her own arse to see it & has serious delusions of grandeur.

 

[BettyCrocker]

“It’s nearly broken me”


Oh do fuck off Emma.

 

[bedtimereader]

Interesting photo of the three of them with the apology and not Stephen too. I wonder if the upshot of this is that he'll refuse to be on pics now he's been in the daily mail dressed head to toe as a reindeer

 

[MrsBriggs]

Her eyebrows need some TLC. Look terrible.

Get thee to a Brow Bar!! Pronto!!
Now, not that I’m one to gossip, but......I heard on the grapevine that she used to frequent a local Beauty Parlour & had an ‘issue’ with one of her gel nails.
Any road up, she went back to tell them & wanted immediate attention. After being told, politely, that she couldn’t just be seen & would have to make an appointment, she protested -
“BUT DON’T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”
And remember - you didn’t hear that from me!!

 

[petitspois]

let's hope it's 'Babs-xit' and she leaves instagram for good.

 

[pourthetea]

She looks like she’s playing dressing up in her mums clothes!

I think she’s trying to copy Harriet’s (Toby&Roo) look but can’t pull it off. We all know she copied the Gucci bags from Louise. Can’t think for herself at all and ends up looking odd.