Brittany Bathgate

[frazzle]

I guess her private life is her private life and she doesn’t owe us anything..

But it would be so simple for her to edit him out so nobody asks her about the relationship that I don't understand why she doesn't ??

 

[Silly Sausage]

Her intentionally including him is odd to me.

 

[PeterF]

In my experience it’s very much possible for a couple who grew apart to spend lots of time together without feeling any romantic connection anymore. You almost start seeing the other person as a useful piece of furniture. As horrible as this sounds, it’s true. And why not just remain helpful if there’s no one else who can under current circumstances fill that role in their lives.

Many people don’t realise that often in long term relationships and separations similar to BB’s, the moving on stage happens before you even realise it or bring up the break up.

Yes that's what I'm going through now. Basically the same as brittany and dean. Had been with my boyfriend 9 years. We are more like friends who live together. Had separate rooms for a year but still get on fine. We actually broke up officially last week but nothing has actually changed. We still go running and stuff together. It ended a long time ago really, way before we broke up

 

[snarkvark]

Yeah I agree with that, I think they had been together 11 or 12 years so if there’s no bad blood it must be just drifting apart romantically but they clearly still depend on each other for companionship. Maybe that’s why they’ve moved apart to see if the spark comes back?

I guess her private life is her private life and she doesn’t owe us anything.. but still would be interesting to know what’s going on or how she’s finding it as I’m sure a lot of people might be having similar issues now after being in lockdown for a year

Your right. She doesn't owe us anything. But if she doesn't want people to speculate about a pretty weird situation, then she could easily not include the footage of Dean!

Personally I think it's odd (even in a pandemic) to still see you ex so often. I've split amicably with a husband I was with for over 2 decades but it would be difficult to have someone who was once so close in my current life!!

 

[getawaywithit]

Often what people struggle with after a breakup isn’t even necessarily the hurt of the love going away or whatever...... it’s understanding that the part of your identity as that person’s partner is now over. For so long, so much of your identity, your sense of who you are, has been bound to that person and your partnership, that it seems outright impossible to lose that. What are you now without it? It even threatens other parts of your identity... e.g., are you still desirable? Are you still funny, without the person who saw you as such? Do you still like ___ activity, etc. What can you no longer be now? What CAN you be that you said you couldn’t before?

But when they look at what their identity is now post breakup, they seek a blank void where all that space was once taken up. And that blank void is so terrifying that they either refuse to break up or keep their ex around in some way.

So basically people find it so scary to face, that they simply just don’t face it. They cling to outdated relationships OR even when broken up, keep some vestige of the relationship around... e.g., the “companionship”. Obviously you need to stop hanging around your boyfriend when you break up to truly be able to move on, meet your new self, and understand life on your own. But that requires more than just understanding the love is gone or that you want to break up, it requires a lot of intimidating and lonely work... and so the excuses start.

 

[Aminal]

I mean there is a myriad of reasons to speculate on!

Maybe they’re kind of back together but since she went moved out and has bought a load of new furniture maybe she thinks it’s best to be silent.. because that would look pretty dumb

or she just shows him occasionally so people think they might be together in some capacity and this will deter anyone else from going after him? Norwich is a small city and she is well known so I imagine Dean is also well known and I wonder if his long relationship and the fact he still sees her would put people off?

Maybe he is the one insisting to be involved and keeps popping himself shots or taking her places knowing he will be featured because he wants to stop anyone else from going after her?

But I’m sure they are just content with how things are and are more like best friends so it must be quite normal to just Include him now and then.. I have said before I know them both a little (my bf knows Dean and most of my knowledge comes from his take) so I am always trying to get some insider info but He’s not seen him for a while due to lockdown.

On topic of her I don’t really watch her vlogs I kind of skim them for the montage bits which I would say she does really well..

 

[brerwhabbit]

Loving these forensic character studies. Why do we care so much? I think influencers and influencer culture reveal a lot about human nature and I’m so here for it!

I don't know. I ask myself the same thing. Because it's a similacrum of the society we all know and hate that part of it perhaps? I don't think I care so much as I'm fascinated by that? Care construes that I'm perpetually thinking about it, much as I "care" for my elderly parents. But I do ponder it. Properly not worthwhile except it makes me think about our current existence and how social media has an outsized importance. Shoot, there are tons of people worth more attention FOR SURE.

 

[skyeblue7584]

I think she has control issues for sure. Honestly, since she broke up with Dean she seems fixated on curating her perfect little apartment and her perfect little wardrobe... but she goes no where. She "dresses up" for the shops in Jil Sander boots?? This type of thing was well before COVID. She just seems to have an empty life she is trying to fill up aesthetically. Christ, she's even curated a bookshelf she said she hadn't read half of the books. The more I see of her, the lonelier and sadder she seemed. I think she needs to find some friends and to focus on people or something else that isn't her life. Maybe even volunteer?

She also seems fixated on Australia. I'm Australian, living in Australia, and she has these silly little "Byron" vlogs wearing the row leather shoes to the beach?? that's simply unaustralian Brittany.

 

[snarkvark]

She just seems to have an empty life she is trying to fill up aesthetically. Christ, she's even curated a bookshelf she said she hadn't read half of the books. The more I see of her, the lonelier and sadder she seemed.

100% this right here. She's so busy curating her life to look ~perfect~ that she's not actually living (from what we see). She has no real hobbies except running, which is boring as hell to listen to someone talk about. We get it, you exercise. I want to know what you're passionate about! Where are your interests, BB? Is it just making things look good on the outside? she's so concerned with a certain aesthetic that she won't participate in things that don't match up to the appearance she presents online. everything has to be perfect and just so.

I agree with the person a few comments ago who said they think her home is messy but BB just doesn't film those parts. A few vlogs ago BB apoloigsed for the messy bed and one of the rooms in their old house was an absolute tip. She hides those things away but really it would make her more relatable. This person with interesting style and a nice home and a desirable aesthetic actually being this messy person would make BB more likeable in a way. Instead she comes across as really stiff and lacking in personality. Too formal almost.

 

[Ebf123]

I also find it weird that she (and many others) buy things on purpose to decorate with?

I know that sounds strange but for me, I decorate my flat as I find things: for Xmas someone might give me a candle holder, I might drink a nice bottle of wine and use it as a vase, I might get some books off my wish list for Xmas - so I decorate my flat organically.

With a lot of these influencers they do a mass haul from one or two shops as soon as they move in and that's that. Obviously I understand that people have certain tastes and looks that they like for rooms but that doesn't mean you have to buy it all at once. Does that make sense?

I only really realised this last year when I moved into my first unfurnished flat. Of course it's still quite bare but how it is now compared to last year it's really cosy and there are lots of little bits. I also know that when I finally get to go home to my parents there are some paintings that I'll bring back. For now I just have to live with a blank wall. I think it comes down to a lack of patience and an abundance of money and time.

 

[MaldonMalaise]

she comes across as really stiff and lacking in personality. Too formal almost.

thats because that’s how she is, and always has been ever since she was a teenager. Everything is curated, planned, intentional. None of it is organic, at all.

I have my own issues with her (though I hope she has changed since the college days) but I really do think the reason why she has this very rigid stiff behaviour pattern is because she doesn’t really know who she is. I hope it doesn’t come from a place of unhappiness, but that would be what I would put my money on.

 

[brerwhabbit]

Not that I disagree with you but weirdly my view of them is the total opposite of yours, for me it just comes down Brittany being herself whether viewed as positive or negative she’s always had the same interests and personality and I don’t think influencing has changed anything about her other than her integrity. Lizzy’s persona is so obviously forced she changes to match whoever she’s friends with or dating, maybe its because I live near her but she’s a total east London cliche when she never used to be this way.

*Yes, I see this, but I think almost everyone of that age changes to match friends and who they are dating, even if only slightly, it's human behavior/norms. I think likely Brittany is very much influenced by Dean and vice versa. I don't think she has a distinct personality from him. It will be interesting to see her develop separately. She doesn't seem like the type to fly into another relationship, which is good.

As you mentioned people with genuine wealth view cars as a utility, the BMW was vulgar but that was Lizzy’s true personality coming though.

* Right, but it's not about wealth, that's more of class issue I think. Those of upper class, feel that way in that driving around an old beater does not reflect their place or diminish it in the slightest. Lizzy is not upper class or posh, she just has wealth, which is monetary, so the BMW vulgarity makes sense and is honest to her background, whereas Brittany is more selfconciously middle income "tasteful" in order to not appear outwardly vulgar. But she is, just the same. Her splashing out on bougie things in excess, regardless of them being minimal is equally vulgar and even less genuine. It's kind of a humble brag which is more irritating than a brag brag? Does that make sense?

She proclaims to be understated because the people she emulates are but in reality she wants people to know she has wealth. In Manchester she drove an equally vulgar Mercedes she bought with family money. She walks around East London with a few thousand pounds worth of bags and cameras hanging off her shoulder which she can only do because she never leaves the gentrified area she lives in. Photography is another one of her forced interests because as a photographer to me it is obvious she has no real interest in it.

*Yes, she's definitely not understated, but I suppose she thinks she is. I think Brittany is also fraudulent in this regard. She used to walk around in Comme de Garcon logo'd tit not long ago. But now she's above that or maybe the kinder view is she grew out of it?

*Absolutely, the film photography was just and is just "trendy". Clearly not a genuine interest. But same with Brittany here I reckon. Maybe a little less so - remember the cine camera she bought? I don't mind vulgarity actually sometimes. Not for myself, but as entertainment. Lizzie's BMW was unequivocally stereotypically vulgar. But Brittany is also vulgar. Dropping the amount of money she does on things like 6 different types of beauty oil (or if she got all that for free, she didn't say) and talking about it in a faux humble way is way more problematic to me than someone driving around in a gross car that they don't try to pass off as something done for the greater good, at least not excessively. Granted Lizzy is not someone of depth though. I wasn't clear about that.

Lizzy is not a true reader she skim reads, gives up and struggles to read anything with depth. Reading a book and immediately forgetting the title, author and plot is a major red flag which she does often.

*Not to be contrarian, but I don't really know how you know that? I often forget titles/ author/ plot and yet I read tons. How do you know so positively she doesn't read? Agreed though, she is suspect in a lot of what she says. Like when she spoke of how Holden Caulfield's Catcher in the Rye as "not what she was expecting". LOL.

Although Brittany’s choice in books has regressed from what she used to read a few years ago Lizzy makes Brittany seem elegant when she talks about books which is quite a fete. When Brittany starts to waffle she reminds me of a monotonous train announcer. And whilst Brittany bought books to fill shelves she does seem to intend to read them I can’t get past Lizzy using her aunts collection of books purely for decoration - the ones under her bed.

*Brittany is elegant. There is something quite polished about her although her lack of self awareness is quite obvious to someone decades past her age (moi). To me, there is not a great deal of depth in her analysis. It tends to revolve around whether the chapters were long and whether she couldn't put it down and how it compares to trendy authors (albeit well regarded) she's read also. That's also handy information. Many a times I'm like well that's worth a look. I do think the book suggestions one of the best things about her vlogs.

Brittany addressing the problems with her relationship with Dean and separating from him was dealt with more maturely than Lizzy, who never addressed breaking up with her ex, she just cut him out of her content and months later started talking about him in the past tense. For me things like this separate them although generally I find Brittany the more open and honest she still as her moments, gushing over her Cartier ad when she obviously got the deal because they are both represented by the same management.

* Yes she did. That was good in a way. Although as many people have said it doesn't seem to add up and her telling of it was carefully curated, as everything with her. While curated and superficial also, Lizzy doesn't seem as "jammed up" in my estimation. Brittany is emotionally constipated and it's painful to watch. I think Lizzy has gone through quite a bit of grief and trauma, and yeah, she's not the poster child of emotional maturity but it's clear to me that some things like the break up of relationships may dredge up the abandonment felt when a parent dies (her dad died). I don't think it's any of our business to see that kind of trauma in the name of honesty. Lizzy's experience and feelings are unique.

Conversely, Brittany has been with Dean a long time and it really seems like the passion has died and the separation, while painful, is not gut wrenching so I'm not sure the situations can be fairly compared. People handle and process things differently and situations are unique.

The reason why two women living alone have spare bedrooms is because they become a dumping ground for the gifted items, sitting waiting to go on Depop. Lizzy’s kitchen always has that unappealing pile of mess caused by packaging from a constant stream of PR packages.

*Yes. FOR SURE.

It’s the dropped shoulders giving Brittany the wide, hunchback vibes because she has a petite frame they sit at a weird, unflattering place. I’m the same height and build as Brittany and gave up on them years ago because of this.

* Yes, the coat and the stretching her photographs to seem less swamped by them is getting tired. Gave up on them? But still watching right? Gave up how? This is what interests me about myself. I'm not being facetious. I think there is something appealing to both in an imperfect somewhat annoying way. Does this speak to the emptiness I feel in my own life, particularly due to the pandemic? Does it equate to me trying to reconcile the years I spent in the fashion industry with my life now and my own personal style.

I starred comments under your text so it makes sense above.

I liked Brittany a lot more initially and I don't think this is all b/c I have discovered the real her later, I also think it's in great part because, as someone else mentioned here, that they all start off somewhat honestly and genuinely but quickly devolve as they get sucked in by free stuff, agents and the like. If there's not anything else but "I bought this, I like this" to provide foundation it gets old fast. But still, I check in with them to sort of see what's up. Like friends you can only take in small doses. LOL.

I guess I see all of your points and the truth to all too. I'm not totally disagreeing, more playing devil's advocate in the spirit of conversation. Your intelligent comments made me think more. We all want the same things they want to a degree as both Brittany and Lizzy and all of these "influencers". The degree is key perhaps? Both of them are teetering on the edge of becoming subsumed and not just by their massive trench coats! I could argue with myself for days, in fact I often do, as I'm writing - like but no, what about this? It's annoying as all hell. I have to tell myself to STFU - feel free to do so also. You won't be wrong! LOL There is no "wrong" here anyway

 

[lurkinglondoner]

I think she has control issues for sure. Honestly, since she broke up with Dean she seems fixated on curating her perfect little apartment and her perfect little wardrobe... but she goes no where. She "dresses up" for the shops in Jil Sander boots?? This type of thing was well before COVID. She just seems to have an empty life she is trying to fill up aesthetically. Christ, she's even curated a bookshelf she said she hadn't read half of the books. The more I see of her, the lonelier and sadder she seemed. I think she needs to find some friends and to focus on people or something else that isn't her life. Maybe even volunteer?

She also seems fixated on Australia. I'm Australian, living in Australia, and she has these silly little "Byron" vlogs wearing the row leather shoes to the beach?? that's simply unaustralian Brittany.

To be fair to Brittany, we have been on national lockdown and unable to go anywhere since the beginning of the year, and the weather has (until recently) been quite miserable. I personally have been staying at home and buying books too. Signed, an Australian in the UK

 

[blueblueindigo]

hahah true, it seems like especially Anna tries (and regularly fails) to copy her style. I just find her so effortless, she doesn't have to try hard to be cool or only displays her (kind of) minimalist style when it suits her (again, other than Anna who keeps harping on about minimalism but just loves materialistic shite too much).
(promise I'm not BB undercover, I just find she sticks out from the crowd of influencers who are all the same lol)

I don't find her style/aesthetic particularly unique at all! If you are on instagram it's pretty apparent that there are loads of bloggers all gifted the same furniture, all gifted the same clothing and all posing in the same manner... with near enough the exact same outfit combinations. I find her transparency over declaring gifted products could be something to improve on, and it's pretty easy to have a cool, luxe minimal aesthetic when you get handed it for free btw. I'm not saying this to knock her, as I love the aesthetic and can recognise that she stands out on youtube as most of the people who have that aesthetic mostly from kindly gifted items are on instagram.

As a viewer I find her narrative over her relationship a bit confusing, it be better to have a more consistent "story" than telling the world you have split up, and yet you are having Christmas dinner together, relying on your ex to do all the diy and then acting like your ex isn't in the room next door when you talk about wanting to play in the snow.

Agree that Anna's capsule wardrobe was in name only!

 

[Mrankutes]

And I thought I was extra with my five pairs of trainers.

 

[Boomkack]

Her hair seemed darker in the completed works ad she posted today on her stories. You know what they say about changing your hair after a breakup...

 

[coriander]

Omg, how does one waffle on about 11 pairs of trainers for 43 minutes straight?! How?! They're mostly some shade of white/grey too and all very similar apart from the NB and Daybreaks. At one point in my life I had 8 pairs of black jeans which I swore were all different, so I do get it, but then I got a grip of myself and she should too. The Margaret Howell trousers were extremely ill fitted on her as well.

Basically I just think that she's absolutely ridiculous.

 

[crunchypeanutbutter]

I used to cherish her videos, but she seems so empty and shallow now. Maybe she always has been!

Agree with all the points made here. Everything is curated and intentional. Hell, she apologised three times for a tiny blip in the editing when it was the most engaging thing to happen all video.

You know it's grim when a gossip thread about you has nothing left to speak on...

 

[MomoomoM]

Those lamaire mules are absolutely honking, nothing good about seeing that lil peek of toe.

 

[brerwhabbit]

Her hair seemed darker in the completed works ad she posted today on her stories. You know what they say about changing your hair after a breakup...

It's her natural color b/c she can't go to the stylist I think. She used to say "because my hair is quite blond...blah, blah" in earlier vlogs and I was always like, you aren't a blond, you are mousy brown which turns blond quite easily with *chemical* assistance. Nothing wrong with that, it's a little thing, but something she does quite regularly in different forms. The photo stretching to make her legs much longer to a ridiculous degree etc.