Bowelbabe #4

[candyland_]

If you read through all of the threads you would see it's not always negative. There have been some really positive discussions about cancer and the difference between nhs and private. I haven't seen one hateful comment about Deborah tbh. If you would like an all positive thread about BB then maybe start a rave thread

No thanks, I haven’t got anything positive to say about her. I meant threads in general.

 

[LadyJY]

Apologies, I know it’s already been said today but very worried about Monique, sounds like her liver was in real trouble and she hasn’t posted for several days. I really really hope they can do something to support her liver function. Cancer really can duck off. duck right off.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

Apologies, I know it’s already been said today but very worried about Monique, sounds like her liver was in real trouble and she hasn’t posted for several days. I really really hope they can do something to support her liver function. Cancer really can duck off. duck right off.

Her jaundice was really bad on her last post.

 

[Hangoninthere]

If you read through all of the threads you would see it's not always negative. There have been some really positive discussions about cancer and the difference between nhs and private. I haven't seen one hateful comment about Deborah tbh. If you would like an all positive thread about BB then maybe start a rave thread

Absolutely. There have been some very meaningful discussions re death. Something we in the western world so very seem rarely do. It is important to share our own life experiences in context. It might mean that some feel the way BB (at least publicly) is or is not addressing this. But they are good conversations for all of us I feel.

 

[HouseOfHorrors]

I think im going to do one last post and then respectfully stop commenting about BB, as the new members have obviously been sent here to defend her and any criticism is now classed as trolling.
SHE has put herself out so publicly, so sadly she does have to deal with the criticism that it brings with it. That's life, no matter what your morals are. Not everybody likes each other, we all have differing opinions to which we are entitled.
So try pushing this narrative that a dying woman should be off limits....for her to be off limits she would need to stop living in the public eye/social media. Until then, we all have the right to disagree with her behaviour.
She is no longer this massive advocate and educator for bowel cancer, sure a few half hearted posts the last few days about signs and symptoms. She sells herself as an influencer and that is what matters to her now. Also, her lying by omission re: private vs NHS care. Her reluctance to make it clear her treatment is private is doing a MASSIVE disservice to other bowel cancer sufferers and deliberately misleading her followers.
She clearly cares not for any Joe public, she is looking out for no.1 and no.1 only. Which is fine I'll hold my hand up and say I'm one of the most selfish people you could meet. But she pushes this 'I'm here to help you all' narrative when in fact, she doesnt give a duck.
She's the most narcissistic privileged woman and its sickening really.
So do what you will with your final days Deborah, it's your kids I feel desperately sorry for. In all honesty, shes running out of 'options' very fast and I'd be shocked if she sees summer. To dupe her kids into believing doctors can keep pulling it out of the bag for her is just heartless in my opinion. She won't be here to pick up the pieces when she's gone, so presumably she just doesn't care. So that's my summary on the whole, fucked up weird situation. She isn't a nice woman, she doesnt care about the NHS minions and clearly has little affection for her poor kids. What a legacy (not) to leave

Wtf, this is one of the most heartless things I’ve ever read on here. Whatever else you think about her to accuse her of duping her kids and not caring about them is way below the belt. We have no idea what conversations she’s having with her kids and family.

 

[vix68]

Of course she loves and cares for her kids. She’s doing what she sees is right for them by keeping them away from the reality. Right or wrong she is doing her best for them-only she knows them and what they can cope with.
What I would like to add though is she’s at an all time low and my heart still goes out to her but she is saying “this is bowel cancer and it’s not fun.” I am sorry to have to point it out but no this is end stage PRIVATE bowel cancer where they are still doing all they can to give you more time. This is NOT end stage NHS bowel cancer where they tell you there is nothing more they can do and send you home to die. It wouldn’t annoy me so much if she was just honest and blog her PRIVATE cancer journey to highlight what’s on offer then there would probably be a national outcry of the injustice of if you have money it buys you life. I’m sure she could bring about change if she approached her journey with complete honesty. But no she chooses not to mention that she is private. She was told by the Chelsea and Westminster drs there was nothing more they could do for her which horrified her (understandable) then she went back to the Private sector and was given options but she never actually said that. I’ve only been following her since January and I can’t ever remember her saying she is a private patient so anyone new and seeking some moral support from her as a cancer sufferer would be very disillusioned with the difference in care and it would have the opposite affect of boosting their morale.

 

[Stealingstyle]

Wtf, this is one of the most heartless things I’ve ever read on here. Whatever else you think about her to accuse her of duping her kids and not caring about them is way below the belt. We have no idea what conversations she’s having with her kids and family.

I agree with your point, we have no idea what discussions she is having with her kids. But her kids use social media so surely she's keeping the same line and tone of message with family and followers. Otherwise she's being truthful with the kids but very misleading with her followers. I would tend to agree it's the former and they too are being kept hopeful against the odds

 

[EmilyChambers]

Maybe they had broken up, I don’t know. But what kind of man would leave his terminally ill wife and two little kids? They got married knowing she was sick and two back to back pregnancies ruined her health. What kind of monster would walk out? If they DID break up, there was no announcement and she quietly erased him from her IG. I just found it weird that she would talk about needing to crowdfund so that her kids wouldn’t lose their home when she died but never alluded to who was going to raise them (because, obviously, their father was going to raise them no matter which house they ended up living in).

Anyway, sorry for the derail. I had to stop following because my gut told me there was something strange going on.

I don't think her eldest had the same dad as the two boys as the daughter put a post on her Insta about how the Dad wont let her see the two younger brothers after the Mom died.

Obviously something was going on but no idea what

 

[fusspot]

Of course she loves and cares for her kids. She’s doing what she sees is right for them by keeping them away from the reality. Right or wrong she is doing her best for them-only she knows them and what they can cope with.
What I would like to add though is she’s at an all time low and my heart still goes out to her but she is saying “this is bowel cancer and it’s not fun.” I am sorry to have to point it out but no this is end stage PRIVATE bowel cancer where they are still doing all they can to give you more time. This is NOT end stage NHS bowel cancer where they tell you there is nothing more they can do and send you home to die. It wouldn’t annoy me so much if she was just honest and blog her PRIVATE cancer journey to highlight what’s on offer then there would probably be a national outcry of the injustice of if you have money it buys you life. I’m sure she could bring about change if she approached her journey with complete honesty. But no she chooses not to mention that she is private. She was told by the Chelsea and Westminster drs there was nothing more they could do for her which horrified her (understandable) then she went back to the Private sector and was given options but she never actually said that. I’ve only been following her since January and I can’t ever remember her saying she is a private patient so anyone new and seeking some moral support from her as a cancer sufferer would be very disillusioned with the difference in care and it would have the opposite affect of boosting their morale.

This. Absolutely this.
BB doesn’t owe anyone anything - I’m not for a moment saying that she does. And I think she’s probably past the point of giving a flying one what anyone else thinks or expects of her.
But as one who took from finding her IG, what turned out to be false hope and a misleading picture of what cancer treatment looked like, and believed that people wouldn’t be given up on without trying every possible “option”, I just feel it would have been kinder if she’d been more transparent.
These are HER experiences and are mostly a million times removed from those of NHS patients.
As always, I wish her well.
And am thinking of Monique.

 

[lovesmyroses]

I personally don’t believe any of her ‘procedures’ will give her or are giving her any extra time. She is sadly dying and starting the pathway to the end. I’ve seen this happen in the NHS and private. All she is doing is delaying the inevitable ‘ go home and enjoy what you have left’ or ‘ it’s time to go to a hospice’.
her body is failing because it’s shutting down.
I would guess she has about 6-8 weeks left maximum.

Maybe she feels she owes it to whoever to update her account. Who knows. I can’t stand her overconfidence and attitude. She hasn’t a single humble cell in her body but like a car crash I can’t help but watch.

I’m a step Mum to kids who’s Mum died from cancer a few years ago. The biggest regret my husband has is that they didn’t prepare the children for their Mums death. However what they did do was privately enjoy the time they had as a family so leaving them with previous memories. She was treated privately but when they were told they were out of options they bowed out of any more hospital treatment and opted for palliative care. I can’t see BB doing this. She will likely die in that hospital room.

 

[jackolantern]

Every story she posts now I just find it all so sad. I know it’s entirely her choice how she spends her remaining time, it just seems such a waste. Extra time just to spend it in hospital having horrible treatment.

 

[Renegadedancer]

Still nothing from Monique, it’s been a while. I hope she’s got her loved ones with her

 

[candyland_]

I think the private procedures and treatments have prolonged her life because they have always swooped in and offered her something that an NHS patient wouldn’t have. Even something like an infection turns into a full of procedure for her.. I don’t think your average cancer patient would have infections treated in the same way. Its usually a watch and wait and see if you get over it.

 

[maytoseptember]

I think the private procedures and treatments have prolonged her life because they have always swooped in and offered her something that an NHS patient wouldn’t have. Even something like an infection turns into a full of procedure for her.. I don’t think your average cancer patient would have infections treated in the same way. Its usually a watch and wait and see if you get over it.

They certainly wouldn't be allowed to bed block for a month and go on excursions to the ambulance bay, shopping and restaurants. Deborah is so fortunate to have those opportunities.

 

[candyland_]

They certainly wouldn't be allowed to bed block for a month and go on excursions to the ambulance bay, shopping and restaurants. Deborah is so fortunate to have those opportunities.

I think those things are just coping mechanisms. Her husband and kids seem to be living somewhat of a normal life so she’s probably quite lonely.

 

[Blonde_moment]

I personally don’t believe any of her ‘procedures’ will give her or are giving her any extra time. She is sadly dying and starting the pathway to the end. I’ve seen this happen in the NHS and private. All she is doing is delaying the inevitable ‘ go home and enjoy what you have left’ or ‘ it’s time to go to a hospice’.
her body is failing because it’s shutting down.
I would guess she has about 6-8 weeks left maximum.

Do you have a medical background? I’m not disagreeing with you or questioning you - I also agree she hasn’t got long left. I’m just curious where you’ve got 6-8 weeks from? Is this based on similar patients you have seen?

 

[lovesmyroses]

I think those things are just coping mechanisms. Her husband and kids seem to be living somewhat of a normal life so she’s probably quite lonely.

I find it weird how much she bangs on about how amazing her Mum is? What about her husband? To me he seems like a convenience.
I know she was planning on leaving him just before her diagnosis. I think he’s just the bank so she can spend spend spend then plaster it all over the Gram.

Do you have a medical background? I’m not disagreeing with you or questioning you - I also agree she hasn’t got long left. I’m just curious where you’ve got 6-8 weeks from? Is this based on similar patients you have seen?

Yes. Her organs are beginning to fail. She has obstructions which are engulfing her abdomen so her body is loading with fluid. She is constantly in a state of sepsis. She’s dying. It’s that simple.
The doctors aren’t trying to lengthen her life. They are trying to minimise her discomfort.
If her TPN tube was removed and she had pain management only she would be dead within a couple of weeks. It will need to be her decision to withdraw any form of ‘feeding’ as it gives patients a sense of choice though at some point unless she quickly becomes unwell and can’t consent. It can take a long time for a patient to actually realise they are very close to the end. Once the acceptance is there, it isn’t always, then the die pretty quickly. Usually.

 

[LittleMissRuby]

The fact that she hasn't been eating solid food and has only been allowed to try a small soft diet (plus the fact she's having problems passing poo) tell me that her bowel is obstructed, at least partially. Monique has TPN because bowel is so obstructed she cannot tolerate food and needs an NG tube to aspirate excess bile etc. I believe Deborah probably isn't far off a full obstruction. Her ascites have been in full force for quite some time now despite constant draining, thay isn't a lady who is bouncing back. That is a lady who refuces to accept she is in end stage liver failure.

 

[petitspois]

Everyone says she looks v unwell but she is quite olive skinned which doesn’t have the parlour and shadows my skin would have in her situation. I actually think she looks pretty ‘well’ considering but that’s hiding the reality.

 

[EllaEm87]

Everyone says she looks v unwell but she is quite olive skinned which doesn’t have the parlour and shadows my skin would have in her situation. I actually think she looks pretty ‘well’ considering but that’s hiding the reality.

She’s wearing makeup though