Bowelbabe #4

[OH.FFS]

I think maybe out of respect this thread should be closed and any well wishes we have should be directed to her Instagram and donations to the legacy research fund.

what do others think?

 

[petitspois]

There's nothing more to say is there? we almost all hate the ads, almost all find her quite grating, almost all admire her spirit, almost all find her life a bit odd and all think cancer is an absolute bastard.

 

[LittleMissRuby]

I'm a nurse, I've worked for the NHS since 2006. I always championed the NHS, was its biggest fan. They failed my mum terribly, and (sorry if this upsets anyone) the way they ditched EVERYONE in the beginning of the pandemic was sickening. Yes we didn't know how covid would pan out, but every other illness was pushed aside to make way for covid. I'll never forgive the NHS for becoming what it is. My friend who has no qualifications earns more in a band 7 office job, than me who went to uni for 4+ years to become a specialist nurse. Shat upon from the top, as always.

 

[Vegasbaby33]

My friend passed from cancer today. Life is so fucking cruel I saw on a previous thread someone had mentioned Hope 4 Cancer in Mexico being scammers?...my friend's family had been looking at going there! I'm not sure I can engage with this thread anymore, I just don't have the words. Other than fuck off Cancer. Sending love to all x (sorry for the swears)

 

[ginnyw]

For anybody who hasn't seen this:
Home | Bowelbabe Fund
And massive, massive respect to the lady and her family for setting it up. That is a fantastic final vision and message.
I feel terribly sad.

 

[vix68]

See this is what confuses me.

I dont follow her but do dip in every now and again.

Is she in denial?
Maybe it's all for IG?
Maybe she is told there are options?

Whilst I understand she has stage 4 Bowel cancer, many here have said she is very ill. Is she that ill? The written word can be misconstrued I know so I don't mean she is faking it...but are things really at the end for her now?

I find it so confusing.

I am sorry to say but she is very very Ill. From what I gather from her posts she has a metastatic tumour that is wrapped around her bile duct. A stent is keeping it open so the bile can drain from her liver otherwise she would be fluorescent yellow with jaundice and go into acute liver failure and die very quickly. If any mass is in that area it is just not possible to surgically remove it because there are arteries and veins in the area and they will be engulfed by the tumour too. They wouldn’t be able to prize the tumour away from these structures without catastrophically damaging them. She has gross ascites and this means her portal vein is most likely not flowing properly (most likely because the tumour is compressing it) and if the portal vein is not flowing properly then again the liver cannot function properly and ascites builds up, the spleen enlarges and veins everywhere become enlarged (varies). Essentially she is in end stage liver failure and this is fatal.
She still sounds hopeful amazingly. If this situation is happening because someone is an alcoholic for example then if they stop drinking then there is hope that the liver can improve but the trouble here is that all this is being caused by cancer which cannot be removed. She can’t have chemo because her liver isn’t able to process the drugs because it is just not functioning properly. She is in a dire situation. For the last 5 years she has been incredibly hopeful that she can just live with her stage 4 cancer. Considering she had liver and lung mets when she was diagnosed she has done amazingly well to live this long. It is without a doubt because she has had private care at one of the best cancer centres in the UK. However now the cancer is where it is no cyber knife or anything will get rid of it. She will not recover and so very sadly she has not got long now. It will take an enormous amount of courage for BB to announce to everyone that she has been beaten by the big C because all along the drs have given her options to keep her going and she has raved about her incredible team. Furthermore, all her life she has won and got what she wants so this situation just goes against everything she has ever experienced. I truly hope she will stop all these ads and just be accepting and at peace now. My heart goes out to her and her family.

 

[jackolantern]

I don’t think anyone should do anything in Moniques name without her consent tbh. The sentiment is pure but it’s not really our place. Definitely a general thing if wanted although the sceptic in me says it will make f all difference! The NHS isn’t fit for purpose unfortunately. We are entering a world where health is going to be reserved for those who can buy it

 

[ginnyw]

I like the way we've all suddenly become united on here. Because, let's face it, this is horrible human tragedy and suffering and a family going through hell.

 

[LittleMissRuby]

Exactly though - it's only how she comes across in her fragile, cancer ridden way. For all we know she could have been a right cow before her diagnosis. Not that it matters in the slightest - no one deserves to have cancer and go through such horrific pain. I just find the contrast really so startling that just because Deborah doesn't lie in her bed and croak her way through some stories she isn't a lovely, kind-hearted person. She may well be.
What I was getting at is the level of perceived *sympathy* the two get is very different, and it is always compared with their personalities.

Let me put it in simpler terms for you. Monique has been fucked over by the NHS and failed time upon time, yet remains grateful and polite. Deb called out the ambulance service for not being at her beck and call during the episode where her varices were bleeding. She was given the estimate of a 30 min wait, which those of us having had cause to dial 999 in the last few years realise is actually an amazing response time. So yeah, Deb is a spoilt brat who throws her toys out of the pram at first inconvenience. Monique still humbly praises those who care for her. If you can't see the night and day differences in their attitudes, then where on earth have you been...

 

[OnlyPassingThrough]

I don't think we should judge who is taking care of her. As someone with a non-existant relationship with my mum I can only begin to imagine it must be a huge comfort if you have a mum who loves you and vice versa. And as a mother myself, I cannot bear to think of NOT being there for my child, no matter their age, through this nightmare. They're doing what suits them all best.

 

[jackolantern]

And I have to disagree with you also. Yes people have a right to an opinion, but with that comes with a responsibility not to accuse all GPs of not seeing patients.

Yes the NHS is funded with public money therefore you have a right to an opinion with regards to how adequate the service is. What people also need to realise is it is a finite resource and inevitably during a pandemic demand will exceed provision.

Wise up.



Agree. BB was formerly so active and enjoyed a good social life while managing work and raising awareness. It’s devastating. I can only hope she is enjoying ample time with loved ones.

You are being needlessly rude. People are entitled to an opinion on a service their taxes pay for. We have every right to expect better. Look at Monique‘s care vs Deborah’s. Should Monique just shut up and accept it because a GP or medical professional will take it personally and get their feelings hurt? The system is a shambles. The truth hurts.

 

[jackolantern]

I’ve said this all along and to be honest the comparisons between Deborah and Monique are pretty disgusting. Not once have I seen on this thread about how beautiful and gentle a soul Deborah is - it seems you’re only a gentle and beautiful soul if you’re portrayed as weak and fragile as Monique has been in her posts.

I think this is unfair. Noone thinks Monique is a good person just because she's weak and fragile. What a strange thing to suggest. It's because she genuinely comes across as a lovely, kind-hearted, down to earth woman. Deborah for most, does not. That doesn't mean she's a 'bad' person, but she comes across quite self-serving and certainly not very relatable, hence the comparisons. That has absolutely nothing to do with how ill they are or aren't. You don't have to like someone or give false compliments just because they are sick. In fact I think it would be more insulting to do so.

 

[EllaEm87]

Morphine and midazolam are my drugs of choice for EOL. Very peaceful with the right doses. We’ve also got things to fry up secretions and anti sickness as standard down here too. Don’t be mistaken that a high dose of morphine will cause instant death. We can’t give enough to kill and it completely goes against our PIN to do so, however sometimes it’s a side effect that isn’t necessarily a bad thing at a certain stage in the dying process. I’ve never told a patient or their family that it is a side effect, just that it might make things more “peaceful”. We are not there to kill people, just make them more comfortable. Some drugs do lead to a faster passing, but that’s not the reason we give them. Just clearing that up!

 

[jackolantern]

It's very bizarre to explain but does anyone else find it surreal to imagine Deborah not here anymore? It's daft because this was always going to happen and it's been clear for months now that it was sooner rather than later, but she's such a larger than life personality and she's done such a good job at not appearing 'sick' that it's actually difficult to comprehend that it is indeed going to take her life. Sounds mad I know because I have always harped on about her being in denial and now it sounds like I am (!), but I guess somewhere down the line all this options talk really does tap into your subconscious and you get used to her always having another treatment on the horizon.

 

[gummy-bear]

Maybe instead of another bowel babe thread we just create a general cancer bloggers thread. I personally don’t feel that much more needs to be said on BB going forward

 

[LittleMissRuby]

I know you won't understand it, because you are all not so keen od Deborah, but I will be devastated when she will die. I'm not a cancer sufferer myself, I was once scrolling on my instagram and Natalie Woodward (@iamnatwoodward) popped on my feed and I thought "oh who is she, she's so pretty". So I started following her and I found out about her bowel cancer and everything that happened to her, still can't comprehend the extensivity of the surgery that she has had. Later through Nat I found Monique and Deborah and that's when my love for BB started. She's just my type of person, I love her energy, I love every silly video that she has made. I was just in awe of her strenght and positivity, I loved that she's all glam on hospital corridors, that's she's dancing to Stayin Alive by Bee Gees in the middle of London streets. I just don't want her to be dead, I want her instagram to go on and be fun and positive for a years to come. I don't why I'm really typing this to you, but I made a promise to myself - I won't follow anymore women with stage IV cancer because you get attached somehow and those people even though they are strangers they will be missed once they're gone.

Gosh, cancer and dying is a sad sad reality but this comment is strange. Sad, yes. Devastated and wanting her to go on forever? Maybe social media is not the best place for you if you feel this way about a stranger

 

[Warrior]

In my opinion her motivation for the ads is fame. She is an extrovert and egotist and (like all major influencers) once given a platform to perform on it becomes addictive. Plus all the messages she gets give her validation

Make no mistake she is a seasoned professional. The silence followed by an update showing her current life and then when she has our attention wham bam an advert.

Bowelgran has just posted a second teaser about her exciting photoshoot with a promise of a reveal shortly. This belies the images portrayed yesterday of her worsening condition and Bowelgran moving into be with her. They both play the game and in my opinion ill or not are fair game for criticism. She is monetising her cancer which is a kick in the teeth for others who suffer without her privilege

 

[LennyBriscoe]

I think maybe closing the thread is a good idea.

I hope I don’t sound a hypocrite because I didn’t agree with all Deborah did but I do feel really sad. I feel sad for her, for her family and just sad we’re in 2022 and we haven’t progressed enough that a woman in her 40s (or anyone for that matter) can overcome cancer. Mostly I feel for her kids, this terrible disease has completely changed their life at such a young age.

I want to thank everyone who has contributed to Deborah’s threads. I’ve learned so much here. I had an extremely naive view that most people with cancer slip away comfortably. I’ve shed tears at what this awful disease has done to us all.

Spoiler: Fear of Dying

I’m so scared of dying. My mum was 52 when she died of cancer and I’m 10 years younger than that now. She died of lung cancer and I don’t smoke but I really feel I will die of cancer. I’ve realised that palliative care is nothing like I imagined it was. I’m scared of being in that situation that I know I’m going to go but just waiting, scared to fall asleep in case I don’t wake up, and I somehow know I’m crossing over but I’m still scared. What do you talk about? What if you can’t talk but you can hear and you feel guilt for going? I can only hope that Deborah and everyone else in her situation finds peace.

 

[jackolantern]

I really don't know why anyone thinks she's doing it for money for the kids. The kids will never want for a thing, their father is fucking loaded. I fully believe she's doing it as a distraction because she can't cope otherwise. I don't think it's anything to do with money, doubt it ever has been.

 

[Gingercream]

Absolutely agree. GPs refusing to see patients but still expecting us nurses ti be patient facing throughout

Not all GPs. I’m a GP and have seen people f2f the entire time through the pandemic, done home visits and now pretty much back to pre-pandemic working. I’m working my arse off and fed up with people slagging us off constantly.

We have a shortage of about 6000 GPs across the country and attitudes like this just mean more are leaving to work privately or emigrate or leave medicine completely. I’m getting to the point now that I want to leave