I'm exactly the same
Doesn't feel like I'll ever get past it tbh.
If you do some googling, you may be able to find some in your area. And you 100% will be taken seriously!
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Doesn't feel like I'll ever get past it tbh.
If you do some googling, you may be able to find some in your area. And you 100% will be taken seriously!
Thank you! I will have a lookI'm exactly the same
Doesn't feel like I'll ever get past it tbh.
If you do some googling, you may be able to find some in your area. And you 100% will be taken seriously!
I think everyone on this thread is so brave to open up about their struggles!
One thing I would mention is that having family members comment on your weight/size is a very significant catalyst/contributor of disordered eating and body image. This also includes family members who have commented on how much you’re eating, what you’re eating, etc.
So part of the counselling process would be to unpack that and address how that has contributed to where you find yourself now.
I totally resonate with the body checking behaviours like pinching parts of your body, that’s always been a big issue for me too! But part of learning to improve my body image involved learning that the more I grab, punch, check or monitor my body by performing these behaviours, the more I end up over-scrutinising it and always finding fault.
There are some really great resources online to help improve things for you, and you can absolutely live the life you want without this being the main thing you think about every day! One of the best starting points can be to delete/unfollow social media that is making you feel worse and start curating your feed to include lots of support accounts, body positive accounts and nutrition debunking accounts.
One thing I would mention is that having family members comment on your weight/size is a very significant catalyst/contributor of disordered eating and body image. This also includes family members who have commented on how much you’re eating, what you’re eating, etc.
So part of the counselling process would be to unpack that and address how that has contributed to where you find yourself now.
I totally resonate with the body checking behaviours like pinching parts of your body, that’s always been a big issue for me too! But part of learning to improve my body image involved learning that the more I grab, punch, check or monitor my body by performing these behaviours, the more I end up over-scrutinising it and always finding fault.
There are some really great resources online to help improve things for you, and you can absolutely live the life you want without this being the main thing you think about every day! One of the best starting points can be to delete/unfollow social media that is making you feel worse and start curating your feed to include lots of support accounts, body positive accounts and nutrition debunking accounts.
You’re exactly right with this. Even if a photo looks ok, or I can feel my hip bones, or I can’t pinch something as much today…I’ll just find something else that doesn’t feel as ‘small’ as yesterday.
It’s comforting yet also really upsetting to know there are lots of us with these issues
it’s so prevalent! I get really mad sometimes thinking about all of the moments and experiences I’ve been robbed of feeling the joy in because I was too busy worrying about my body. But like I said, it can absolutely get better and I’m living proof of this!
I always remember my therapist saying to me once “if you look for fatness, you will find it” and that really stuck with me in terms of the body checking behaviours. We are all our own worst critics!
I always remember my therapist saying to me once “if you look for fatness, you will find it” and that really stuck with me in terms of the body checking behaviours. We are all our own worst critics!
You’re exactly right with this. Even if a photo looks ok, or I can feel my hip bones, or I can’t pinch something as much today…I’ll just find something else that doesn’t feel as ‘small’ as yesterday.
It’s comforting yet also really upsetting to know there are lots of us with these issues
This was the main cause with my eating disorders as from the age of 6, my mum would weigh me weekly and tell me off if I gained weight.
And then I'd come home from school and she'd put bags of sweets, chocolates and crisps on my bed. And then comment on how much I'd eaten.
And then again, tell me off for gaining weight.
This went on until I was 14 when I moved out and in with my Dad!
Along with my own grandad telling me weekly that "Each week you look more and more like a barrel"
Mum joined me up at weight watchers when I was 9 and made me go to weekly weigh ins with her. And then would tell me off infront of the people there for gaining weight
Oh god, I’m so sorry that’s been your experience! That is really terrible. I think, in particular, there are a lot of kids of the 90s and early 2000s whose parents (even though I’m sure they were trying their best and it was in line with the culture at the time) did so much damage. These stories are super common amongst people I speak to about this.
Literally every single one of my clients has a history of parents putting them on diets, commenting on their bodies and shaming them if they gain weight. I think, up until more recently, diet culture really encouraged that sort of thing and made it normal.
Also, full disclosure, I work as a nutritionist specialising in disordered eating/body image but also got into it because of wanting to heal my own struggles with an ED and very negative body image, which is still very much a work in progress but a hundred times better than it used to be!This was the main cause with my eating disorders as from the age of 6, my mum would weigh me weekly and tell me off if I gained weight.
And then I'd come home from school and she'd put bags of sweets, chocolates and crisps on my bed. And then comment on how much I'd eaten.
And then again, tell me off for gaining weight.
This went on until I was 14 when I moved out and in with my Dad!
Along with my own grandad telling me weekly that "Each week you look more and more like a barrel"
Mum joined me up at weight watchers when I was 9 and made me go to weekly weigh ins with her. And then would tell me off infront of the people there for gaining weight
Literally every single one of my clients has a history of parents putting them on diets, commenting on their bodies and shaming them if they gain weight. I think, up until more recently, diet culture really encouraged that sort of thing and made it normal.
This was the main cause with my eating disorders as from the age of 6, my mum would weigh me weekly and tell me off if I gained weight.
And then I'd come home from school and she'd put bags of sweets, chocolates and crisps on my bed. And then comment on how much I'd eaten.
And then again, tell me off for gaining weight.
This went on until I was 14 when I moved out and in with my Dad!
Along with my own grandad telling me weekly that "Each week you look more and more like a barrel"
Mum joined me up at weight watchers when I was 9 and made me go to weekly weigh ins with her. And then would tell me off infront of the people there for gaining weight
I can vividly remember my grandparents making me and my cousin stand next to each other and comparing our sizes. Then the next time I saw them they said they’d give me 50p for every pound I lost and they’d weigh me each week.
I was 8.
I was 8.
This is so sad, I’m so sorry you had to experience that. Kids should never be put in that position.
I've always struggled with my weight!
First lock down I was exercising twice a day and enjoying eating healthy.
By the second one I wasn't leaving the flat and we were having take aways basically every other day. There was one weekend we had five!
I put on 3 stone and felt so miserable.
By chance I was listening to a podcast and the topic was EDs. I'd always assumed it was more about anorexia or bulimia but this episode was talking about Binge Eating and I was like tit that's me!
I got in touch with BEAT and they encouraged me to speak to my GP and had lots of really useful tools on how to talk to your GP about your ED and your loved ones. My GP referred me to a local ED charity and I did a 12 week CBT Programme with them.
Some of the exercises I didnt really like but the ones that helped the most were writing letters from my future self and then body checking in the mirror.
They base the training on the book "Overcoming Binge Eating" by Dr Christian G.Fairburn. (I tried to attach a PDF of the book but it said its too large. You can find it on Scribd website for free - I think you get 3 free books when you sign up).
I'd really recommend reading it as its basically what the 12 week programme I did was based off and it can be a self approach
I've accepted that I'm most likely always going to have a weird relationship with food but at least I've got some tools to help me. I have good and bad days but honestly the group and book have helped me massively.
Sending lots of love and light to everyone on their journey. Just knowing we aren't alone is such a massive comfort.
First lock down I was exercising twice a day and enjoying eating healthy.
By the second one I wasn't leaving the flat and we were having take aways basically every other day. There was one weekend we had five!
I put on 3 stone and felt so miserable.
By chance I was listening to a podcast and the topic was EDs. I'd always assumed it was more about anorexia or bulimia but this episode was talking about Binge Eating and I was like tit that's me!
I got in touch with BEAT and they encouraged me to speak to my GP and had lots of really useful tools on how to talk to your GP about your ED and your loved ones. My GP referred me to a local ED charity and I did a 12 week CBT Programme with them.
Some of the exercises I didnt really like but the ones that helped the most were writing letters from my future self and then body checking in the mirror.
They base the training on the book "Overcoming Binge Eating" by Dr Christian G.Fairburn. (I tried to attach a PDF of the book but it said its too large. You can find it on Scribd website for free - I think you get 3 free books when you sign up).
I'd really recommend reading it as its basically what the 12 week programme I did was based off and it can be a self approach
I've accepted that I'm most likely always going to have a weird relationship with food but at least I've got some tools to help me. I have good and bad days but honestly the group and book have helped me massively.
Sending lots of love and light to everyone on their journey. Just knowing we aren't alone is such a massive comfort.
It’s so helpful to hear all your stories. I just feel like I am going deeper and deeper into a hole. The place where I volunteer is (due to lack of a manager and me essentially taking on that role and managing young, inexperienced trainees) really stressful and that is having a huge impact on food and exercise.
I am so tired from work and can’t even begin to express what I feel just
. I can’t live like this forever. I can’t count every calorie for the next 40 years and run every single one off, I just can’t.
I am so tired from work and can’t even begin to express what I feel just
. I can’t live like this forever. I can’t count every calorie for the next 40 years and run every single one off, I just can’t.Hi everyone
I hope this is the right place to post, I am struggling!
I have Body Dysmorphia which I was diagnosed with a few months ago. I had CBT and got a good handle of it but I’ve had a major loss in my life and a free fall into terrible depression which has made it come back again.
I saw a guy I speak to on instagram yesterday, he always calls me beautiful on there and today he’s very quiet and seems a bit off. My worst fear with BDD is that people will see me in person and be repulsed, like I’m nothing like my photos. Does that make sense?
I truly believe there is nothing attractive about me at all and I’m not worthy of a man because of this.
Can anyone relate? Would love to chat about it if so
thank you x
I hope this is the right place to post, I am struggling!
I have Body Dysmorphia which I was diagnosed with a few months ago. I had CBT and got a good handle of it but I’ve had a major loss in my life and a free fall into terrible depression which has made it come back again.
I saw a guy I speak to on instagram yesterday, he always calls me beautiful on there and today he’s very quiet and seems a bit off. My worst fear with BDD is that people will see me in person and be repulsed, like I’m nothing like my photos. Does that make sense?
I truly believe there is nothing attractive about me at all and I’m not worthy of a man because of this.
Can anyone relate? Would love to chat about it if so
thank you x
this is exactly how I feel the majority of the time recently, it's horrible. Just know that if someone is looking at you or paying you attention, it's because they find you interesting to speak to or interesting to look at. Almost no one sees the negative physical things we see in ourselves!
I'm exactly the same.Hi everyone
I hope this is the right place to post, I am struggling!
I have Body Dysmorphia which I was diagnosed with a few months ago. I had CBT and got a good handle of it but I’ve had a major loss in my life and a free fall into terrible depression which has made it come back again.
I saw a guy I speak to on instagram yesterday, he always calls me beautiful on there and today he’s very quiet and seems a bit off. My worst fear with BDD is that people will see me in person and be repulsed, like I’m nothing like my photos. Does that make sense?
I truly believe there is nothing attractive about me at all and I’m not worthy of a man because of this.
Can anyone relate? Would love to chat about it if so
thank you x
And then even when I've met someone, I think they're then just pretending to not be disgusted and that they thought I was disgusting and horrible and they're being too nice by not saying anything!
Thank you both so much for answering me, it’s really lovely to have people to talk to! Although I am sorry you both struggle too.
my therapist tried to make me see my BDD voice as a little bully to tell off and that worked for a while, maybe you may find that helpful?
mine isn’t necessarily weight based, I just don’t view myself like I see everyone else. I feel different and put so much pressure on myself to look ‘acceptable’. I don’t feel normal if that makes sense? I feel like in the real world there must be something very wrong with me because I don’t look like everyone else in my mind x
my therapist tried to make me see my BDD voice as a little bully to tell off and that worked for a while, maybe you may find that helpful?
mine isn’t necessarily weight based, I just don’t view myself like I see everyone else. I feel different and put so much pressure on myself to look ‘acceptable’. I don’t feel normal if that makes sense? I feel like in the real world there must be something very wrong with me because I don’t look like everyone else in my mind x
Hey all, I hope everyone’s doing as ok as can be.
I have a stupid question/thought process. Going through bulimia is quite distressing. I don’t want to say traumatic, because I know that has a very specific and serious meaning.
But I don’t think it’s acknowledged enough how upsetting it is to have done that to yourself.
I was 12 years old and for no good reason making myself ill. I told this to a therapist (later, as an adult) and it was like talking to a wall.
I just needed somewhere to talk about how that’s not normal for a kid and how the entire physical and thought processes could be upsetting. All the therapist ever said was “have you spoken to your family about this?”.
I have a stupid question/thought process. Going through bulimia is quite distressing. I don’t want to say traumatic, because I know that has a very specific and serious meaning.
But I don’t think it’s acknowledged enough how upsetting it is to have done that to yourself.
I was 12 years old and for no good reason making myself ill. I told this to a therapist (later, as an adult) and it was like talking to a wall.
I just needed somewhere to talk about how that’s not normal for a kid and how the entire physical and thought processes could be upsetting. All the therapist ever said was “have you spoken to your family about this?”.
Evening all. I didn’t know about this thread so just going to dump this out of my head. I’m in the absolute grips of my ED at the minute and i’ve just been ruminating on how unfair it all is. I accept that I think about food differently to other people and I am way past anger and jealousy about it but I feel like a toddler at the moment and I want to rage about it knowing it can’t be fixed. I just want someone to not intervene and help me but to equally comfort me and validate this absolute bull that I think and do.
So due to reasons my child hasn’t been with me for some of xmas that i’d planned for so I paused all the xmas food when they went to their dad’s. I then ate (after 92hrs of no food) and was immediately unwell. They’re back now and I have to get all the food out again and I can’t bear it. I now haven’t eaten since then (54hrs ago) and all of the plans for this week have gone wonky so I can’t next eat anything until thursday which will be another long stretch which is fine but I have to break it at an event where what I eat will be monitored which is a pain. This period is super busy so I won’t have a day alone to eat how I like to (slowly and noting amounts) for over a week.
Also, just before I broke it on sunday I was feeling flutters in my chest and I worried that I would faint while I was out which would be hideous. It has made me think about how like when i’m old(er) I won’t be able to do this as it could kill me. There is so much context and history and comorbidity so blah blah this really makes no sense but sometimes i’m just really bloody fed up with this ridiculousness.
Also, just before I broke it on sunday I was feeling flutters in my chest and I worried that I would faint while I was out which would be hideous. It has made me think about how like when i’m old(er) I won’t be able to do this as it could kill me. There is so much context and history and comorbidity so blah blah this really makes no sense but sometimes i’m just really bloody fed up with this ridiculousness.
Oh Silver
It can’t be “validated”, but what this cruel illness is doing to you is so “normal”. It’s not you. I know it feels like it, because like you said, it’s what you think and do.It sounds like such a hard time anyway, and then on top of that you’re dealing with such a tit illness. I’m so sorry you’re going through this X
Oh Bob, I feel terrible for only seeing this now so please forgive me. I’m so sorry you went through this and did not get the support you needed. That therapist sound rubbish, so unprofessional! Your feelings are absolutely valid, and if you say it was traumatic, it was traumatic. We all process things differently, and just because someone has it worse than you does not mean you’re an imposter.
Have you been able to find a better therapist to talk it through? Sending good thoughts your way, I sincerely hope you are doing fine
Please please don’t be so hard on yourself. ED can really mess with you so you don’t know what you are doing anymore. It’s not you, so please don’t blame yourself.
Is there any ‘safe’ food that you can have without feeling bad about it? In any case, try to take things slow and be easy on yourself. It’s not your fault and you are only trying to do your best.
It’s been quiet on here. How is everyone finding this year?
I’m not proud to say my New Year resolution was to lose weight, I just feel so unfit and disgusting. What makes it even harder is the fact that I actually suck at losing weight, I can never lose more than 8-9lbs no matter what I do. The only time I was truly slim was when I was on meds, but that’s just because I was sick all of the time. Today I thought I might order myself some new clothes for the upcoming season and was triggered big time when I flicked through some catalogs. The girls there look like real life Barbie dolls, airbrushed or not. I know I will never look like this. Realistically, nothing in my life would change if I did, but it still made me so upset.